There are No Trivial Matters in Cultivation

(Minghui.org) Hello Master! Hello fellow practitioners!

I would like to tell you how I experienced first-hand that nothing is trivial in cultivation.

In 2018, through a series of events I moved to New York with my two children. Day-to-day life seemed hard and there were many inconveniences. My children were busy with school and I couldn’t bear the pain of living alone. I thought about moving back to Florida and then I twisted my right foot. I couldn’t walk for more than 4 months. Just before Shen Yun performed in Florida, my twisted foot was almost healed and I came back to help.

My First Wake-up Call

Before and during the 2019 Shen Yun performances, I developed hives. They were so itchy that I could not sleep. Large areas of my body were red, swollen and itched. Sometimes my face was red and resembled a pig’s, but when I needed to go out to meet people, my face returned to normal. Despite the pain and discomfort I was still able to do what I needed to do. The night before Shen Yun’s opening performance, the eruptions still didn’t show any signs of going away.

The pain was wearing me down and I couldn’t sleep. So I told my husband, “I’ll stay home and you go and follow the schedule. If there are any problems, I can help on the phone!” He said he couldn’t take time off from work and couldn’t take over.

My daughter suddenly said, “Mom, you must have righteous thoughts! Bad things are interfering with you and not letting you go, you should go!” I felt that Master was using her mouth to encourage me. When I went out the next day, all the redness, swelling and itching disappeared.

I looked inward but really couldn’t find anything. So I examined at myself from the most basic principles of cultivation. I knew that I didn’t read the Fa or do the exercises enough. I also didn’t look inward when I encountered difficulties.

A Tumor Points Out My Fundamental Attachments

In 2020, a tumor the size of an egg grew on my neck. The other practitioners were very worried. My husband was so worried that he asked me if I wanted to see a doctor. I thought about it, and told my husband and the other practitioners that I would not go to a doctor. I would face it with the attitude of a cultivator.

I became easily tired and had no energy. Although it did not affect my ability to read the Fa or do the exercises, I had no energy and I did not want to do anything. When I looked inward I realized I was not interested in saving people. I was attached to being comfortable, but I knew that I still had not found the real reason.

I felt distressed because even though I looked within I couldn’t find the attachment that caused the tumor! I really didn’t know what to do. I remembered what Master said:

“By contrast, little can be done for the average person, who just wishes to keep going through life as he has and perhaps be healed. Some only want to do this practice if it will heal them. But your interest shouldn’t be conditional. Just start practicing if you are inclined to.” (The First Talk, Zhuan Falun)

From this passage of the Fa, I realized that if you want to cultivate, you must simply cultivate. I felt Master pointed out my problem when I read: “As an ordinary person who just wants to be an ordinary person, ...” I relaxed in my cultivation because I was attached to pursuing a better life. This attachment caused me to be less determined to cultivate, instead I thought about how to live happily and beautifully in ordinary human society.

Because I’ve been relaxed about cultivation for too long, when I tried to dig deeper and look inward, it felt like a layer of fog was stopping me.

When I read the Fa, this passage caught my attention:

“You have gone through so much in all these years of cultivation, and yet many people have really done poorly. They constantly make all sorts of mistakes, and have even grown used to it, and consider it nothing; even when ordeals come they don’t realize where the problem lies, as they have become accustomed to it and consider [their attachments] just little things. But it’s cultivation—whatever happened to being “free of gaps” (wu-lou)? There are no little things.” (“Fa Teaching at the 2015 West Coast Fa Conference,” Collected Fa Teachings, Vol. XIII)

I realized that I needed to check whether my thoughts and behavior that I had become accustomed to conformed to the Fa’s principles. In the process of looking inward for small things, I found I had an attachment to beauty. I wanted to look attractive. Because I felt that the tumor was so ugly, I wanted to cover it with clothing or a scarf. I also discovered that I had too much affection for my children. Even though it’s natural for mothers to love their children and care for them, as a cultivator, I should measure my relationship with my children from a higher perspective, instead of getting tangled in emotion like an ordinary person.

I continued to look inward. The tumor was still there, but it was not in the way, so I just ignored it. In November, the tumor started to swell. My entire neck, head, and even talking and eating hurt. I had a fever and felt groggy. I could stay awake for two or three hours each day. I realized that I acknowledged its existence, and that there was still room for breakthroughs in cultivation. I asked Master for guidance. Every moment that I was awake, I read the Fa.

Do I Truly Believe in Master?

I began to think about my enlightenment in cultivation and my faith in Master and Dafa. I found that behind my various superficial attachments were hidden fame, self interest, and affection. Behind these attachments was a deeply hidden one that caused me to have reservations about my faith in Master and Dafa.

I remembered a Shen Yun performance. A Taoist master asked his disciples to jump off a cliff. Most of them did not dare, but one of them jumped without hesitation. When I watched this performance I imagined that I was the one who would jump off a cliff without hesitation. But after going through many tests that touched on my fundamental attachments, I realized that I was one of those who did not have enough faith in Master to jump!

Looking back on my cultivation path over the years, I found that I have been facing the test of whether or not I truly believed in Master and the Fa. When I faced the cultivation path that Master arranged for me, but it did not conform to my selfishness and notions, what choice did I make? When I thought of this, I felt ashamed. At the same time, I felt Master’s boundless compassion and the painstaking efforts he made for me. I saw that Master arranged all kinds of opportunities to expose my attachments.

My children's and fellow practitioners’ words pointed out to me where I could do better. By reading the teachings I was able to calm down and think, “What is the meaning of life? Why was I practicing Falun Dafa?” In my process of questioning myself, I saw clearly that there is no happiness or comfort in this world. Everything I have is bestowed by Master. I really want to go back to my real home. This was the first time after practicing for 20 years that I became so clear about my wish to reach consummation. If I want to go back, I must believe in Master and the Fa without reservation. I had to change myself and eliminate my selfishness, and take the path arranged by Master.

When I found the crux of the fundamental issue that hindered my cultivation and ability to look inward, I suddenly enlightened, and my body relaxed instantly.

Just as Master said,

“If you can truly have a mindset that’s determined about cultivation and can let go of human feelings, then it won’t take even a second and your ailment will be gone.” (Teachings at the Conference in Houston)

The tumor stopped hurting immediately, and two days later it disappeared completely! After more than 20 years of cultivation, I once again witnessed how amazing Falun Dafa is!

From these manifestations of sickness karma, I have seen that due to my inattentiveness to many trivial matters that (on the surface) did not seemed related to my cultivation, I missed many opportunities for improvement. This resulted in the accumulation of many small hardships. Because I did not pass these tests, the tests became greater. I still have a lot of gaps in my cultivation and I know I haven’t cultivated well. I would like to thank Master for not giving up on me. I will work hard, and I hope that one day I can return home with Master.

(Presented at the 2022 Florida Fa Conference)