Young Practitioner: Truly Embarking on the Cultivation Path

(Minghui.org) I am a young Falun Dafa practitioner. My parents, also Dafa practitioners introduced me to Dafa in 1997, when I still was a child.

Practicing with My Parents Before the Persecution

I practiced Dafa with my parents and learned that I should make an effort to be a good student. I was indeed a good student from elementary school to graduate school. Dafa gave me wisdom.

As a good student, I was often praised in the years before the persecution began. After a while, my mentality of seeking fame and showing off increased. I enjoyed getting compliments. I also became a busybody and poked my nose into everything. For example, two classmates broke into a fight, and I went to stop them. As a result, a classmate’s hand hit me squarely in the face by mistake. That is when I realized that I was not doing a good deed to intervene. These two were paying off a debt between them.

I also experienced Master’s protection many times. For example, my foot was hurt when it got stuck in a bicycle tire. In another incident, I fell from a great height and hit my head on a sharp radiator. With Master’s protection, I was not seriously injured.

Stumbles and Struggles After the Persecution Begins

Both of my parents became victims of the persecution. I was still a young child at that time, so my grandparents took care of me. Out of fear, my grandparents and all my relatives were against my parents continuing to practice Dafa. They told me I should not practice. Thus, I gradually stopped practicing Dafa.

Three years later, my father was released from prison. I went back to live with my parents. During every holiday gathering, our relatives put pressure on my parents, asking them to stop practicing Dafa. They said if my parents continued, it would affect my chance to get into good schools. 

My parents ignored our relatives demands and continued to practice Dafa. They said it would not harm my chance of going to a good school; instead, Dafa gives me more wisdom, and I would become a better student. In fact, with Master’s protection, my road to higher education went smoothly.

The relatives kept telling me not to practice Dafa with my parents. I didn't respond to their prodding. I know Dafa is good. My parents set up a truth-clarification materials production site in our home. I helped produce the materials, and sometimes even distributed them.

Drifted Away After College

After I entered college, I spent less and less time reading the Dafa books or doing the exercises. Gradually, my behavior became the same as an ordinary person. In the end, Dafa was not a part of my life anymore.

I still knew that Dafa is good. But I was buried in all sorts of human attachments. Sometimes when I thought of Dafa, a human notion told me: “Well, Master said Fa rectification is ending soon. I have wasted so many years. Look at me, I can not even sit in the double lotus position any longer. I won’t be able to catch up. I won’t be able to fulfill a Dafa disciple’s duty.” The human notions even tried to convince me: “Since I am not practicing diligently, if I was a Dafa practitioner I would for sure face persecution, and I might then make even bigger mistakes...”

My father saw in a dream that I was falling. During my school vacation, he tried to read Zhuan Falun, the main Falun Dafa Book, with me. However, I felt I would not be able to catch up no matter what I did. I even foolishly wished I had been born into a non-practitioner family. In that case, I would be saved as long as I know Dafa is good. I would not have to go through the hardships of cultivation.

On the other hand, I knew that Master said: “If I cannot save you, nobody else can.” (Lecture Eight, Zhuan Falun)

I did not want to give up cultivation. Yet, I was not able to cultivate diligently. In order not to fall behind too much, I helped my father produce truth-clarification materials, and submit a lawsuit to sue the former CCP leader Jiang Zemin for initiating the persecution.

Merciful Master never gave up on me.

In 2016, I came across Master’s words: “Having heard the Dao in the morning, a person can die at dusk.” (Teachings at the Conference of Changchun Assistants)

I thought: I should not worry about whether I can complete my cultivation. I should try to do what I can. The part of me that succeeds in cultivation will be able to return home. The other part, if I cannot cultivate well, will be discarded.

I knelt in front of Master’s portrait. “Master, I want to cultivate Dafa.”

That night, I dreamt I was an infant. My body was clean and pure, but I was falling into hell, surrounded by karma that looked like ghostly black mud. The karma surrounded me. Everything around me was black. I felt very cold and scared.

Suddenly, Master appeared in the sky! Wearing a white cassock, Master stood on a lotus seat. Bright and soft white lights shone from his body. Wherever the white light went, the black mud disappeared instantly. When the white light touched me the black mud on my body vanished.

I ascended slowly. Master held me in his arms, and I felt extremely warm. Master turned around, pointed, and a golden hall appeared in the distance. There was a golden gate in front of the hall. Following the direction of Master’s hand, a golden road stretched out from under Master’s feet. Master put me down, held my hands, and led the way. Then Master let go of my hand and encouraged me to go forward while watching me from behind.

From that moment on, I have truly walked the path of cultivation.

Eliminating Human Attachments

Eliminating the Mentality of Showing off

I used to be pretentious and liked to show off. I was very happy when I was praised. I felt resentful if I was not praised, as well as jealous of anyone who was better than me. One manifestation of this was that I was nosy, and always tried to help others solve their problems – actually, it was to show how smart and capable I was – I wanted to be praised – It took quite a while for me to eliminate this attachment.

Once in the lab, a classmate was having trouble processing some easy test data. I volunteered to help: “This is simple. Let me do it.” [I wanted to show off my ability]. Then I somehow had trouble handling the usually simple problem. I tried until late night and got all sweaty. Still, I did not manage to solve the problem. The classmate suggested that we stop for the day because it was very late. I left with my face burning hot. As soon as I stepped out of the lab, I understood that I was being driven by the attachment of showing off.

In another incident, I went out of my way to help another person before finishing my own assigned task. The assistant advisor criticized me in front of others. I felt bad, but still tried to look for an excuse: “It wasn’t wrong to help others!” Since this, whenever I wanted to “help others” [showing off, actually], I was criticized by the teaching assistant. I did not look inward, but instead thought the assistant advisor had poor character.

One day I was criticized again. I complained about it to my wife, who also is a practitioner. I thought she would comfort me. Instead, she criticized me. “Why didn’t you do your part first? You had not finished your assignment yet. Of course the assistant advisor would get angry at you!” I looked within. I saw my mentality of showing off. My “helping others” was just an excuse. From that day on, I did not jump to offer help to others unless they asked me for help.

Letting Go of Self-interest

Publishing research in scientific journals is one of the most important indicators for evaluating one’s scientific achievements. As soon as I entered the graduate program, I worked hard on my research. Three years later, my first paper was published in a top professional journal. To my surprise, the first author of the paper was not me, but my assistant advisor. I was so upset I almost cried. In China, it is only useful if you are the first author or corresponding author of a scientific research paper. All other authors are not important. 

The colleagues in my lab felt it was an injustice: “This paper was basically all your work. The assistant advisor did nothing. You should go complain to the main advisor!”

I was very sad. I thought of how much it would benefit me if I was the first author, as deserved. On second thought, I remembered the example Master mentioned in Zhuan Falun about a cultivator’s workplace giving out an apartment unit. I thought, would I fight for it if I did not get the apartment unit? That thought stung a bit.

Sitting alone in the lounge, I thought and thought. In the end, I said quietly: “Master, I don’t want anything in this human world. I want to cultivate. I only want the things that really are mine.” Letting it go, I passed the test. A warm current suddenly flowed through my entire body. It was a very comfortable feeling. [Thinking back to this, my heart was not that pure at the time. I was asking Master to guard the things that belong to me.]

Six months later, another research paper of mine was published in a top journal. Again, I was not credited as the first author. I felt sad for a short while. Then, I thought, perhaps I had not paid off all of my debt in the earlier incident.

A year later, my third paper was about to be submitted, this time to an even more prestigious journal. When I found I was still not listed as the first author, I broke down. This paper was my work from the beginning to the end! I have been working so hard for five years, and none of my publications were under my name! I cried. I argued with the assistant advisor, and I planned to talk to the main advisor.

The next day, I did not go to the lab. I walked the street aimlessly, thinking I'd wasted all these years. How could I graduate and look for a job without a publication? I felt I was on the brink of a mental breakdown.

Merciful Master then helped me. The following words came to my mind in stereo: “If something is yours, you will not lose it. If something is not yours, you will not have it even if you fight for it.” (Lecture Seven, Zhuan Falun)

I calmed down.

My academic colleagues thought I was really treated unfairly. “You are so weak. You should fight!” “All five years of your work are given to him (assistant advisor)? All his publications were done by you!” “When it’s time for the revising phase, don’t do it! You are not even credited as the first author!” “This is the third time!” “All of your research results were credited to him. How will you graduate?” During the three months of waiting to hear from the journal, I endured these kinds of comments every day. I kept reminding myself: I am a cultivator. If something is mine, it will be mine. I won’t fight for things that are not mine. What Master says is what counts.

This paper was rejected by two top general journals. In the end, it was submitted to a top journal that was related to my research field, and this time I was credited as the first author. It was accepted right away. Master always gives us the best, as long as we follow what Master teaches us!

I thought it was time for me to graduate since I had been in the program for many years. My advisor agreed, but in fact he kept delaying it. I was not happy about it, and I complained about it to my father during a phone call. My father said: “Do you want to arrange your own life? Would your arrangement be the best? Would your own arrangement count?” I understood. Master’s arrangement is the best. How could I try to arrange my own path?

Eliminating Resentment and Jealousy

There were many conflicts that occurred in which I was not able to view things as a cultivator. Instead of thanking others for providing opportunities for me to improve, I sometimes had attachments of resentment and looking down on others.

In my research, I always wanted to top others. I was jealous whenever I heard that someone published a big paper or someone graduated. For example, I heard that someone one grade lower than me was graduating, and I got upset: “He hasn’t done anything important. Now he published a paper, and he’s graduating. He really doesn’t deserve it!” Soon after, the security facial recognition system in the building malfunctioned, and everyone’s faces and names were wrongly matched. Coincidentally, my face popped up with this person’s name. I did not realize my problem right away. When I called my mother, I mentioned what happened. My mother, also a practitioner, said: “That is jealousy!” She was right. I paid attention to eliminating my jealousy. The very next day, the security facial recognition system returned to normal.

Afterward, a colleague said: “You are so much more capable than the assistant advisor. If you were at his position...” Instead of feeling jealous, my heart was completely at peace when I heard it.

I came to understand that in order to obtain Dafa in this lifetime, practitioners have suffered many, many lifetimes. Meanwhile, every human being came to this world for an opportunity to be saved. Their relationships with Dafa practitioners are predestined. They suffered many lifetimes to be here. Gradually, compassion replaced resentment in my heart. I understood that I should save people.

False Impressions of Sickness

For a period of time, a colleague said he had kidney stones. He had lower back pain. He kept telling everyone that lower back pain can mean you have kidney stones. After a while, I started to believe him.

Master said: “If you always believe that you are ill, you will probably make yourself sick as a result.” (Lecture Six, Zhuan Falun)

One day after a meal, I had a stomachache. The pain soon extended to my lower back. I felt the urge to urinate, but nothing came out. I lay in bed. The lower back pain intensified. I was covered in sweat. I tried to do the sitting meditation, but the pain was too much. I was not able to sleep. The word “kidney stones” kept appearing in my mind. I tried very hard to stop that thought.

My wife suggested that I go to see a doctor. I said: “No. This is sickness karma. If I go see a doctor it will be kidney stones.” She offered to send righteous thoughts for me. I urged her to go to bed, since she had to work next day. During the whole night, I alternated between the sitting meditation and lying down. The pain was intense. It was nearly 5 a.m., and I sat in the lotus position. “Master, the pain is too intense for me.” I was half-sleep.

Suddenly, I saw Master! I saw that a large cloud of karma surrounded the area of my body where I felt pain. Master sat on a lotus seat. The corresponding areas on Master’s body were also surrounded by a black substance. It was so black that it was almost shiny. Sweat drops could be seen on Master’s forehead. Master looked at me mercifully, smiling: “Hold on, just for one day.”

I woke up. I understood that I endured very little suffering. Master endured most of it for me!

In the morning, the pain had reduced significantly, and I was able to go to sleep. I vomited at noon. In the evening, I urinated black liquid. After exactly one day passed, I had recovered. Two days later, I urinated out a small piece of stone.

Clarifying the Truth

I had been helping my father make truth clarification materials for years. At first, I was quite scared. However, I gradually understood it is a Dafa practitioner’s duty. And I felt sorry for people who had been deceived by the CCP’s lies. Thus, I overcame my fear.

When I first started to clarify the truth to people face to face, I only talked about how evil the CCP is. I was afraid to mention Dafa.

One day, I recalled that most the of people in this world were kings of their heavenly kingdoms, and wondered why I don’t have great compassion for them? At that moment, a scene of gods signing their vows and descending to the human world was displayed in front of my eyes. A giant golden list hung from the sky. Every god whose name was on the list was given a small scroll containing his or her oath. The scrolls then entered their hearts. The golden list stayed in the sky, as a testimony. After the scene dissolved, a strong feeling of compassion arose in my heart.

The next day, I was able to talk to a classmate about Dafa. Although I didn’t manage to get him to quit the CCP, I held no fear.

When I tried to clarify the truth to people, I felt that what I said was not very logical and my words were not powerful enough.

After reading some articles on the Minghui website, I was inspired to send out truth-clarification emails. I thought this was more suitable for me to do. During a vacation, I installed a certain software and learned to send truth-clarification emails.

I am so grateful for Master’s compassion! I shall follow Master, treasure the time left, save more sentient beings, and fulfill my historical vows.