Overcoming a Tribulation, Breaking Out of a Shell of Attachments

(Minghui.org) I suffered from many serious health problems for decades, which drugs and hospital visits could not alleviate. I was fortunate to begin practicing Falun Dafa in 1998 and recovered from all my ailments in less than a week.

I have been illness-free for more than 20 years. However, cultivation is serious. I became relaxed and slacked off in my xinxing cultivation in recent years. As a result, I developed a lot of attachments.

For example, I became attached to appearance and clothes. In the past, I only went shopping when I had to. However, I shopped for clothes three times from March to May this year. The clothes I bought in these two months were more than I'd bought in years.

In addition, I seemed to have removed my attachment to food for a long time, but this year, I began to be attached to certain fruits again. I bought four watermelons and ate them. I also developed an attachment to meat and bought it even though it cost several hundred yuan. When I shopped, I began to be attached to self-interest and spent lots of time comparing prices.

I didn’t realize how lax I was in my cultivation. Due to the pandemic, my children did not come home for New Year’s Eve this year. The quiet environment was a good opportunity for me to do the three things. However, I didn’t use the time to cultivate. I became addicted to watching videos. Since I didn’t have a cell phone, I used my husband’s phone to watch them. I also spent hours on WeChat and became very attached to listening to prophecies.

Deviating from the Fa

I didn’t realize that I had already deviated from the Fa and was in danger. Soon, the old forces took advantage of my loophole, and I had a critical situation in early May this year.

I suffered from an acute kidney infection (pyelonephritis) before I began practicing Falun Dafa. One day, I suddenly felt a burning pain when I urinated. I didn’t take it seriously in the beginning. But within 10 minutes, I developed all the symptoms of pyelonephritis. Soon blood appeared in my urine.

The situation became more serious each time and continued for three days. On the fourth day, the symptoms worsened. I started to pass blood clots and soft tissue-like things.

For four days, I could not sleep. I couldn’t eat anything, and I could not even swallow congee [rice porridge]. I lost more than 10 pounds in about 10 days and grew weak. As a result, I could only do the meditation exercise because I couldn’t stand up.

In my hometown, people say owls are an omen that bad things are about to happen. During those days, a large group of owls would hoot near my house late at night. I became upset. I sent forth righteous thoughts, but it didn’t help much.

One night, a big owl stood on the roof of the building in front of my home, with a large group of smaller owls, all hooting loudly. I looked at the big owl and asked it to leave. The next night, only a few owls came. I told them, “You must remember ‘Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good, Falun Dafa is good.’ Don’t disturb people’s sleep at night anymore, and you will be blessed.” From then on, no more owls came.

Facing the abnormal physical condition, I knew something was wrong with my cultivation and the old forces had exploited my loopholes.

I kept saying, “Falun Dafa is good, Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good.” I also tried to read the Fa as much as possible, but I could not see the words. I couldn’t even finish reading 10 pages in an hour.

After a few more days, I thought, “I can’t go on like this. I must break through this tribulation of life and death.” Since I couldn’t read the Fa, I played the video of Master’s lecture. I played one lecture a day, no matter what symptoms I had.

My feet felt burning hot and I had to cover them with cold things. All my health problems that had disappeared after I began practicing Falun Dafa seemed to have returned overnight, and I was in pain throughout my body.

I knew it was a test that I must pass. I must fully believe in Master and the Fa. I knew I had to improve my xinxing, look inward unconditionally, and eliminate my attachments.

I kept looking inward and found many attachments, such as the attachment to self-interest, gluttony, lust, resentment, and so on. I also discovered my fundamental loophole: I took Dafa’s protection for granted. I mistakenly thought that as long as I practiced, I would no longer have illnesses. I thought that I would live comfortably as long as I did the three things.

That mentality was akin to what Master said about someone: “... the person who once walked down the street waving my book, shouting about having “Master Li’s protection” and not being afraid of traffic. (The Third Talk, Zhuan Falun)

What was the difference between my thoughts and what Master described? How could Master protect a practitioner like me?

After I found this fundamental attachment, I spent more time sending forth righteous thoughts. I also asked for Master’s help to dissolve my false self.  Three weeks later, I could eat a little and I felt stronger. A few days later, I could walk.

I finally overcame this tribulation of life and death after one month. In early June, I could do the five exercises. After I did them, I wept tears of joy and gratitude. I said to Master in my heart, “Thank you, Master! Your disciple broke through!” I could not have made it without Master’s protection. Master saved me once again.

This tribulation woke me up completely. I understood that we should never view doing things as cultivation. No matter how many things we’ve done, we could be in danger if we do not cultivate well.

I felt I had broken out of a shell of attachments after this serious tribulation. I started to understand what cultivation was. I realized the importance of looking inward; I knew that cultivation meant one needs to cultivate oneself, not fix others. I knew that improving oneself was the only way to move up in cultivation. I knew that only by cultivating myself could I save people and do the three things well.

I hope fellow practitioners can learn something from what happened to me and take cultivation seriously. Thank you, compassionate Master, for giving me a new life. I will cherish the chance you gave me and do better.