Not Liking to Hear Things That Are Disagreeable

(Minghui.org) Resentment is a topic that is often discussed among practitioners. Most of us are able to notice this feeling and admit it is indeed hard to eliminate. 

Some practitioners believe that the sickness karma many practitioners experience is caused by a more extreme form of “hatred.” A harsh feeling like resentment might be caused by family conflict, distrust among coworkers, or unkind words from other practitioners.

I asked some practitioners who had such feelings, "Why would it cause resentment?"The usual replies are: the other side is not considerate, or not being compassionate, or misunderstands me, and so on. All these answers put the blame on others. Of course, they also say that as practitioners they should not look for excuses. Still, their answers sound like they have not yet found their attachment that caused their resentment.

Would there be opportunities for us to elevate in cultivation if there was no conflict? Why does disagreement arise? It shows up to cultivate our hearts. We dislike hearing things that are disagreeable; we only want to hear what we like to hear. For example, when family members, coworkers, or other practitioners speak or act in a way that is not aligned with our beliefs, we think they are either contradicting us or being unfriendly, or even being aggressive and opinionated. At the human level, this kind of logic is normal. However, the opposite of such logic is desired for practitioners. 

The reason we continue focusing on what others are doing is because they continue not to conform to our opinions. This makes us feel unsatisfied about the way things are going.

If an ordinary person can follow the golden rule and treat others the way he/she wants to be treated, then he/she would treat others with generosity, and be able to respect the other’s point of view. However, as practitioners, our standard is much higher. When I notice my heart move, I should immediately look for my attachment. I must identify the mistakes on my part. Many minor incidents in our everyday lives are caused by our not paying attention to the small “movement.” In the end, we will not figure out what the problem on our part is.

It is like some practitioners who said: “I don’t know what I said that made the others upset,” or “What did I say?” I used to be that way; thus I offended many people. Eventually I found my problems. Usually these small issues are hard to detect.

We might also say: “Why didn’t you just say so?” The trouble is, we are mostly the kind of people who “don’t like to hear things we don’t like to hear.” So others might be afraid to tell us the truth!

This was my bumpy journey to gradually correct my mentality of “not liking to hear things that are not agreeable.”