Experiencing Ups and Downs in Cultivation

(Minghui.org) I was 19 years old when I graduated from a technical secondary school. My mind was filled with dreams, and I looked forward to a good job. I felt a beautiful life awaited me.

That was 1999, the year the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) launched its persecution of Falun Gong. All the TVs and newspapers broadcasted slander of Falun Gong. I initially ignored it, as I had been reading Zhuan Falun, the main book of Falun Dafa (also called Falun Gong), since I was 15 years old. I thought the propaganda was ridiculous.

A Seemingly Coincidental Encounter

I was in middle school when I first noticed people doing the Falun Dafa exercises in a local park. I was curious and stopped to watch and copied their exercise movements. A few days after I started practicing, I caught the “flu,” which was unusual because I was never sick. A classmate helped me go home that morning. I was given injections and medication, but my fever did not break. 

I remembered what practitioners told me: Master Li will cleanse one’s body as soon as one begins practicing Falun Dafa. I thought, “I’ve only practiced for a few days, would Master Li cleanse my body?”

With this thought, a warm current suddenly came down from the top of my head to my feet. I felt relaxed. I woke up the next morning feeling refreshed, and went to the practice site. I knew Falun Dafa was precious! 

For many years I did not take a single pill. I did not come down with the flu, headaches, discomfort, and menstrual cramps. It seemed as if there was no illness in my world. 

No one else in my family practiced Falun Dafa. Almost all of my Falun Dafa books were given to me by fellow practitioners, because I was a child. 

Guided by Zhuan Falun I learned how to conduct myself. I was kind to others. I treated everyone sincerely, and I became more tolerant, thus I stood out among my peers. 

I was the class president in school and was part of the leadership team at work. I was a good child. I treated others with understanding and compassion. I was able to act with kindness, and held no fear, despite the stormy persecutory years that began after July 20, 1999.

Remaining Steadfast Despite the Storm

The bombardment of lies and disinformation in the early days of the persecution did not shake my perception of Falun Dafa. It forced me, a young girl who had just left school, to do some serious thinking. I looked at the world with a pure heart, but I saw nothing but clouds, and suffocating darkness.

I deliberately avoided the reality. I stopped watching television (TV), and listening to the radio. I assumed the persecution would soon end. I thought if I did not think about it, I would still be able to live the wonderful life I wanted. 

There are times in everyone’s life when they need to make a choice between conscience and silence, between escaping reality and facing it. For me, it was the spring of 2000. 

I walked past the Tiananmen Gate Tower and entered the Square. I picked a spot, and sat down in the double lotus position (both legs crossed on top of each other). I began doing the hand gestures for the fifth exercise. I will never forget that monent.

How could I not know what was coming—it might be beating or jail? How could I not worry about not being able to spend time with my parents? How could I not be afraid of being scolded by countless relatives for being a bad child and making “poor choices”? 

However, by this simple act, I just wanted to show that a girl like I practiced Falun Dafa, and that Falun Dafa is good; that all the propaganda is disinformation and slander, and that the persecution should stop.

I don’t know how long I sat there—perhaps only a few seconds. A young man shouted at me, “Hey, get up!” I looked up and saw an armed police officer with a boyish face standing over me. 

I was taken to the Tiananmen Police Station and locked in a room. The room was filled with practitioners of all ages, speaking dialects spoken in all parts of China. Men, women and children were kept together in this cage-like room. 

I listened to fellow practitioners’ whispered exchanges. I no longer remember what they said, but the image I saw is unforgettable. 

I sat in the middle near an older woman whose hair and attire were very dignified. She did not look as if she was from an ordinary family. Her smile was very peaceful. 

We were surrounded by fellow practitioners who either sat back to back or face to face, and some were standing. They whispered and exchanged understandings or passed around what little food they had.

As I sat there my determination became firm: In the face of such unprecedented suppression and persecution, I will tell the truth about Falun Dafa to my relatives, friends, and neighbors. Thus, when the truth is revealed to the world one day, they can proudly say, “I did not agree with the persecution of Falun Dafa, and I knew Falun Dafa was good.” 

Those early years of persecution were very difficult. In particular, after the CCTV scripted and directed the staged self-immolation, not only did the means of suppression escalate, but public opinion was turned against Dafa, as the people did not know the truth—that Falun Dafa is righteous and is practiced around the world. Practitioners do not kill, and so on. 

Practitioners who clarified the truth about Falun Dafa or distributed truth-clarification materials risked being arrested and taken to forced labor camps. 

Some of my friends didn’t understand the truth. Some asked me, “Where did you get all those brochures and CDs? Who pays you?” Or, “How much does your leader get paid?” I couldn’t stop laughing, even to this day. 

Alas, in this modern world where money is more important than a person’s life, no one in China would believe there are people who use their own savings to buy supplies, print brochures, and distribute them. Practitioners ask nothing from people. They want everyone to understand the truth, help them distinguish right from wrong, and be truly blessed by Gods and Buddhas.

Precious Encounters

When I handed out truth-clarification brochures with a fellow practitioner in a residential area, I was arrested and taken to the police department. The police chained my legs and waist to a bench. 

I sent forth righteous thoughts all night, “I can’t let them persecute me. The police officers are carrying out the persecution and committing sins because they do not know the truth. I can’t let them do this to themselves. I must leave. There are people waiting for me to save them.” In the early morning hours I easily got out of the restraints. I jumped out of the window and escaped unharmed.

One day I rode my bicycle when a sudden force knocked me off. The bike traveled forward several meters, dragging me with it. The left side of my face was in pain. The bike’s brake bar hit my hip bone, and poked a big hole in my pants. 

I got up, turned around and looked behind me. I saw a man lying on the ground in a puddle of blood, and a farm tricycle parked close by. I was shocked, “Oh! It was a crash.” I touched my burning face with my hand, but it was fine. I knew that if Master hadn’t protected me, my face would have been completely disfigured.

Another time, I was arrested and directly taken to the detention center. I carried on a hunger strike for more than 20 days. My body became extremely weak, as I did not touch any food and water, and my weight dropped from 110 pounds to less than 70 pounds. 

Seeing that I was dying, the authorities took me to the Central Hospital for examination. Knowing that my condition was extremely dangerous, the authorities were afraid to bear the consequences of my death, and took me home. 

Seven days without food and water exceeds the bodily limit, yet I survived after more than 20. More importantly, after I returned home, I resumed studying the Fa and practicing the exercises, and gradually resumed a normal diet. I recovered in less than a month. My friends felt it was unbelievable.

Wake-up Call

I began to move around because of my job as the pressure of persecution lessened. Unfortunately, I had less contact with fellow practitioners. I was separated from the larger cultivation environment except for reading the Falun Dafa books on the Minghui website. I continued to strictly follow the standard of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance at work. 

I worked for an electronics company in 2007, and my boss trusted me to work as accountant and cashier at the same time. Sometimes the customers sent payments amounting to a few million yuan directly to my account. I was able to keep clear accounts. 

Once, I was doing business at the bank. I was about to leave after everything was taken care of. The teller gave me back my bank card, and a pile of cash, about 50,000 to 60,000 yuan. I said, “Miss, are you sure? I did not ask to withdraw money.” The teller looked confused. She forgot to thank me for pointing this out.

During those years, I lacked the environment to compare in study and compare in cultivation with fellow practitioners. Without realizing it, I gradually failed to reach the standard of practicing solid cultivation and advancing diligently. My attachments to comfort, fame and stability grew. I could not calm down and base my actions on the Fa, even though I read the teachings every day. 

In 2010, I moved to another city. Under Master’s merciful arrangement, I joined the local Fa study group. Master must have seen that I was getting lost among everyday people. 

Without my realizing it, I covered up my shortcomings, and always thought I was better than the other practitioners. I felt I understood the Fa better, and I did more Dafa work than everyone else. I constantly looked outward without knowing how to cultivate myself, and I did not cherish the precious environment. 

Later, the police arrested the entire group while they were studying the Fa. I escaped because I had to leave the city the day before given family matters. This caused a complete distrust and separation between my fellow practitioners and me.

As a practitioner, I did not look inward and cultivate myself. Instead I resented the other practitioners for not understanding me. My xinxing fell to the level of everyday people.

I actually began to compete for fame and personal gain. I was busy running around making a living, worrying about trivial matters, competing and fighting at work. I even badmouthed people behind their backs. I argued with customers over a small profit, and criticized difficult customers. I got married and gave birth to a child. I was busy at work and home, exhausted physically and mentally.

In the blink of an eye, it was 2020. Nine years had passed like a dream. Master hinted countless times in my dreams to become diligent again, but I could not let go of my attachments. I still couldn’t help it. I was caught up in work and family issues. 

My husband complained that I was never happy and always had a long face. I knew in my heart that I was a practitioner, and I should study the Fa and advance diligently. But my attachments weighed me down, and I just couldn’t wake up. 

My status at work was getting worse and worse. I was forgetful as if I were surrounded by a thick fog. Something which could be done in a day took me more than three days, and the quality of my work was not good.

My physical condition was even worse. I had no strength and felt tired after walking a few steps. My back looked crooked and bent. The muscles on both sides of my neck were stiff. My spine hurt, and I easily became angry.

After the COVID pandemic started in 2020, fellow practitioners began putting greater efforts into saving people. They gave people the QR code to circumvent the Internet firewall, and people in China could get more news from the outside world. 

The outbreak of the pandemic woke me up and made me realize that fulfilling my vow and saving sentient beings are what a Dafa practitioner is supposed to do. None of my attachments and notions were the true me. 

Returning to the Path of Cultivation 

I began to focus on reading the Fa. At first, I could not calm down, and I encountered all kinds of interference. So, I began to memorize the Fa. I sent righteous thoughts to cleanse my thoughts and eliminate the interference. I increased the number of times I did the exercises. I wanted to hurry up to catch up with my fellow practitioners and save sentient beings.

It was difficult for me to memorize a single paragraph at the beginning. It typically took me from half an hour to an hour to memorize a single paragraph, and it always took several paragraphs before I could calm my mind. The next day, the same thing repeated itself, and the progress of memorizing the Fa was very slow. 

However, memorizing the Fa helped me understand the Fa principles behind each sentence, and helped me resume advancing diligently on the path of cultivation.

When I memorized the Fa every day, I realized that Master was removing attachments, removing bad thoughts, and all kinds of human desires. What I memorized in the morning was guaranteed to guide me to remove a related attachment at work that day. 

At first, I held back my temper, but I knew that was not cultivation, and I should not be moved. I got upset because a bad substance existed within me. I must not keep it. As soon as I had this thought, I wasn’t upset anymore. Gradually, the substance that made me upset became lighter and lighter. 

When a difficult customer who usually cursed at me came back, I no longer became upset. I wanted to solve the problem for him so he would be satisfied. 

My xinxing improved after adjusting myself for about a month. Along with doing the exercises every day, my body changed and my mind became clear. I was able to think clearly and became more efficient at work. I could multi-task like I used to. I had a lot of energy every day, and could even wear high heels to work again. The stiffness and tingling of my neck muscles disappeared. 

I smiled when I got up every morning. My family was full of joy. Because I got up early to do exercises every morning, the pure energy field resolved my child’s rhinitis. 

I taught my child to memorize Hong Yin. Gradually, her wisdom has opened. She used to cry when she could not finish her homework even when she worked on it late at night. But now she happily says, “Mother, I finished my homework.”

From age 15 when I started to practice Falun Dafa to my 40s, my life has had many twists and turns. After I experienced this, I realized what a precious opportunity and honor it is to be connected with Falun Dafa, to practice Dafa, to follow Master to do Fa-rectification and save sentient beings!