(Minghui.org) I don’t know what type of predestined relationship brought my husband and I together in this lifetime, but he had been an almost impassable obstacle in my cultivation. After more than 20 years of clarifying the truth about Falun Dafa to him, and validating the Fa at home persistently, this stubborn rock has finally come around. Basking in the Buddha light, he is now supportive of Dafa and my cultivation.
I would like to share my experience overcoming the many tribulations posed by my husband over the years. Hopefully it will help someone in a similar situation.
I recovered from many chronic illnesses shortly after I took up Falun Dafa, so my husband was very supportive. But everything changed when the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) launched the persecution against Dafa in 1999.
My husband turned hostile and opposed my cultivation. I didn’t want to openly disobey or upset him, so I just kept quiet about it. I read Master’s new lectures in bed under the covers so he wouldn’t find out. I couldn't imagine being able to go out and clarify the truth in person.
I knew I couldn’t continue like that. Master told us to cultivate in an upright and dignified manner. I was anxious to make a breakthrough, as I knew the standards were high for true cultivators. However, if I dared to mention Falun Dafa, my husband would become livid. He sometimes cursed at me and threw objects around. It was not a very healthy home environment. I couldn’t talk to him in person, so I started writing letters to him to clarify the truth.
My husband got so mad one time that he tore up my Dafa book and threw all the pieces out of the window of our fifth floor apartment. He burned Master’s picture and shattered the urn for burning incense for Master. I must have looked so pale as I nearly passed out. Seeing me fall to the floor, my husband went downstairs and collected the pieces of my Dafa book. Page by page, I spent the next three weeks gluing the book back together, but a piece as big as my thumb was missing. I believed it to be a sign that I had a loophole in my cultivation.
I didn’t realize that my husband was being controlled by evil when he did all that. I thought it was all him, and thus grew resentful toward him. My competitiveness and many other human attachments also surfaced. Nothing I tried could get through to him. I knew I had to gain a better understanding of the Fa in order to make progress.
I strengthened my Fa study and spent all of my free time reading the main book of Falun Dafa, Zhuan Falun. Some fellow practitioners helped me realize that the root cause of my tribulation was sentimentality. I was afraid of upsetting my husband, afraid of him becoming angry. Once I pinpointed my attachment to fear, I worked on letting it go.
My husband is usually a loving person, and I know that he cares deeply about me. Only when it came to my Dafa cultivation did he turn into a completely different person. I had always thought it was because he didn’t know the truth about Dafa and the truth behind the wrongful persecution. Of course that was part of the reason, but given an incident, I came to realize it was the evil controlling him to oppose Dafa.
I went to a gathering with my husband. While he was in the bathroom, I gave a truth-clarification DVD to his friend without realizing he was watching from a distance. As soon as we got home, he threw a fit. He downed a few more drinks and started insulting me. He pointed at the window and shouted, “Why don’t you just jump off the building!” Those words were so out of character that they were alarming. He is usually a loving husband. No matter how he disapproved of my practice, he would never say something like that.
This made me realize that there must be evil beings controlling him to get to me. I immediately sent righteous thoughts to eliminate all evil beings behind him—I couldn’t let sentient beings commit crimes against Dafa. I am here to save sentient beings, I cannot ruin them.
I asked Master for help, “Master, is this your arrangement for me to cultivate my forbearance?”
I quietly recited Master’s words over and over again:
“When it’s difficult to endure, you can endure it. When it’s impossible to do, you can do it.” (Lecture Nine, Zhuan Falun)
As I recited these words, I calmed down and no longer held any resentment. My heart was filled with endless compassion. I watched my husband as if he was putting on a show and even chuckled a little in my mind. I turned around and went into the bathroom without reacting to it. He kept cursing and followed me into the bathroom.
I came out and told him I was going to bed. Seeing that he couldn’t get any reaction from me, he grabbed the car key and left. Worried that he was too drunk to drive, I followed him downstairs. When I got to the parking lot, I found him smoking next to our car. As if nothing had happened, he grabbed two cushions from the car and put them on the ground for us to sit on. He said calmly, “I didn’t expect you to follow me. I thought you never wanted anything to do with me.”
I told him, “You’ve had a few drinks and were very upset. I was afraid you’d do something stupid. I can’t be like you. If I didn’t practice Falun Dafa, I would never let you get away with what you did today. You know me very well—how could I ever take this kind of nonsense from anybody?”
My husband was wide awake by then and completely clear-headed. I knew the evil beings had been eliminated. In a matter of a few minutes, he changed into a completely rational person. We sat on the ground in the parking lot and talked for hours. I learned the true cause of his anger—he worried that I’d get arrested for my faith, and he would lose our family. We talked until four a.m.
The next morning he called me from work and said, “Why do I feel that those things I said last night weren’t my own words? I get it now. From now on, I won’t interfere with anything regarding your cultivation.”
My unreasonable two-faced husband finally broke free of the evil’s grip and started to think independently and rationally.
My husband served in the military and was heavily brainwashed by the CCP. He is also very arrogant. It is very difficult to change his mind. He pushed back every time I tried to clarify the truth to him. However, by a miracle of Dafa, the stubborn elements in his mind were gradually eliminated.
We went with another practitioner’s family to the beach one time. The owner of the small hut we rented told us, “Ladies, both of you (me and the other practitioner) have lights radiating from your bodies. As soon as you came in, I sensed a strong energy field around me. I’ve practiced in the Buddha school for many years and can meditate for six hours.” I told the owner that we cultivated Falun Dafa, which is also of the Buddha school. The owner said eagerly, “That’s great! I have quit the CCP and its youth organizations. Falun Dafa is good. I support you.”
My husband listened quietly on the side. If it were I who said this, he would have never believed it.
When my mother-in-law was hospitalized, my husband and I stayed at the hospital to take care of her. I told my mother-in-law to sincerely recite “Falun Dafa is good, Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good.”
A miracle happened. Two days in a row, my mother-in-law told us that angels in white dresses came to heal her at three a.m. She was due for three stent procedures, but on the day of the surgery the doctor found out that she only needed one. This opened my husband’s eyes to Dafa’s healing power.
Intense pain in my entire body once woke me up at two a.m.. My husband was concerned. I told him, “Don’t worry. I’m going to do the exercises, so I’ll be fine.” I got out of bed and meditated for two hours. When I finished the exercises, my body felt light and the pain had disappeared. I said to my husband, “See. I am fine now. Practitioners are different from ordinary people. When we experience discomfort or pain, it might be that we’re developing gong in our bodies or eliminating karma. I am fine.”
He told me he had a dream that night in which he was with some deities. He asked them, “Why is my wife hurting all over?” The deities told him that it was growing pain, meaning I was making progress in my cultivation. He felt relived and fell sound asleep. He believed them.
He later told me about another dream in which he asked a fortune teller if he would have success in life. The fortune teller told him, “What success are you still looking for? All you need to do is to count your blessings because of your wife.” He told me the dream was very vivid and added, “I guess we really should believe in predestined relationships. Everything has been predetermined.”
My husband is an honest and kind person. He knows that the morals of society are rapidly declining and people no longer behave as they used to. He tries to resist the downward trend and stay true to his values. Watching many little things in our daily life, he saw how pure and good Dafa practitioners are and his attitude changed.
My mother-in-law was hospitalized and needed to undergo surgery. I told my husband, “Besides the 7,000 yuan cash, I also brought our debit card. No matter how much it costs, we’ll cover the expenses. Let’s not mention it to your siblings nor ask them for money.” My husband was touched. I could tell he had great admiration for Dafa practitioners.
The other patients in the ward talked about bribing the doctor with red envelopes stuffed with cash. It was a great opportunity to validate the Fa. So I told my husband, “I have a suggestion. This is about your mother’s health, and is a very important issue for us. No matter how much it costs we’ll spend the money. No problem. However, I am a cultivator and I will live up to Dafa’s standards. If we bribe, we are as wrong as the one taking the bribe. If we don’t use a bribe, the person on the receiving end will not have to commit wrongdoing. You have witnessed the extraordinary power of Dafa more than once. Let’s keep our minds righteous and have faith that everything will work out.” He agreed, “Okay. Let’s do as you say.”
The surgery ended up going extremely well. The director of the department, an expert in the field, performed the surgery on my mother-in-law.
I told my husband after the surgery, “We should show our appreciation to the doctor. It’s up to you how expensive a gift you want to get him. I am okay with whatever you decide. This is our way of saying thanks, and it is different from giving a bribe before the surgery.”
An 89-year-old man in the same ward told us, “This doctor did the stent procedure for me. That was the second successful case in the country and the first ever in our city. You guys are so lucky. You must have pulled some serious strings and your connection must be some high ranking official.”
I told the man exactly what we did and didn’t do. I also went on and clarified the truth about Falun Dafa to him. He is a retired Party official, but agreed to quit the CCP and its youth organizations.
This incident made a huge impact on my husband. Not only did he witness the power of Dafa again, he also saw how Dafa practitioners always strive to walk down the most righteous path. He has since changed his ways, and now gives red envelopes to the elders on my side of the family during Chinese New Year and other holidays. This never happened before.
When the pandemic started in 2020, I wondered if the big sift through of the human world had started. What should I do? I decided to start with my own family. I explained to my husband that if one does things according to the principle of the universe, he or she will be blessed by the heavens. I also told him that money and power are not reliable when it comes to saving one’s life.
My husband took an assignment to work with the community committee to ensure each household and each resident’s health and safety. I told him, “If there aren’t enough masks, we’ll donate all of ours. At this critical moment of life and death, we must consider others’ first. When others are safe, we’ll be safe too. You know how we always say that whatever one does, heaven is watching. Now, not only is heaven watching, the higher beings are selecting who gets to stay. We must treat everything and everyone with sincerity and kindness, without even the faintest thought of selfishness. The Gods’ watching eyes will not miss anything.”
My daughter told my husband, “Dad. I ordered some milk online. Please distribute it among your team members.” She also gave my husband 1,000 yuan to improve his team’s work lunch since everyone had been working overtime. My husband wouldn’t take her money at first, “Keep it. I have money. I’ll buy the guys some good food.” I told him to take the money as it was her wish. Also, her kind deeds would earn her virtue.
My husband kept busy, and my daughter and I helped out as much as we could. We experienced the profound joy of helping others and forgot all about the anxiety and fear brought by the pandemic. Through the process, we gained a deeper understanding that caring for others is truly being kind to oneself. My husband’s entire team was touched. Nobody complained about the demanding workload and nobody came down with the virus.
I told my husband why reciting “Falun Dafa is good. Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good,” can ensure one’s safety. I could tell he was confident and calm, not at all scared or panicky. We held on to the core principle of Dafa, and each and every thought of ours was pure and compassionate. I played Dafa music at home every day and our family basked in the great compassion of the Fa.
My daughter and I are both Dafa practitioners. Although my husband hasn’t truly taken up the practice, he has read Zhuan Falun and learned the five sets of Dafa exercises. He now firmly believes in Dafa.
One Chinese New Year’s Eve, more than a decade ago, I invited my husband’s younger sister and her family to join us in celebrating the new year. To my surprise, her entire family came over without bringing a single gift, nor any food to share. My xinxing was not up to par at the time, and I felt resentful—I had labored in the kitchen all day and put together a new year’s eve feast. The table was laden with delicious dishes and snacks, but you couldn’t even bring a small bag of candies, I thought? It doesn’t really matter what you bring or how much you bring, but how could you show up to a holiday celebration empty-handed?
I held back my resentment during dinner that night, but it just kept bubbling up during the next few days. I tried to suppress it but to no avail. I finally told my husband how I felt and with a serious look, he said to me, “I should take back Zhuan Falun.” He didn’t say anything else. But those few words sent a jolt of shock through me. I suddenly became clear-headed, and dared not say another word.
Master later revealed this Fa principle to me. The realm of compassion is like the nature of water—it nourishes all things in the universe without asking anything in return. It dawned on me that I was asking for a return. So I told my husband, “I know what I have done wrong. I wanted something in return for what I did. But as a cultivator, I shouldn’t have this thought. I had failed to meet Dafa’s requirements and treated this matter like an ordinary person.” He smiled, “Now this says something about your realm.”
My husband’s older sister came to visit one time but I failed to maintain my xinxing because of a trifle. My sister-in-law was upset and left. I had a dream that night that I fell down a slope. I told my husband about my dream, “I am so ashamed of what I did. I failed to hold myself to the standard of the Fa again. I won’t have another chance to make it right to your sister.” He suggested that we visited his sister and apologize. He arranged the meeting, and we paid her a visit soon. I sincerely apologized for what I did to her. She was happy and told me not to mention it. My sister-in-law was very forgiving because she had read the Dafa books.
If something like this had happened before, my husband would have blown it way out of proportion and made it into an even bigger deal. He now gives constructive feedback and helps in my cultivation.
In order to clarify the truth to my husband, I’ve been through many tribulations over the past 20 years. I don’t let anything pass, even something as small as the tip of a needle, and seize all opportunities to clarify the truth and validate the Fa. No matter how big or small the progress is that I make in my cultivation, I always tell my husband, “Dafa changed me.” Whether I benefited from Dafa or found my shortcomings by examining myself against the Fa, I always tell my husband my reasons and my thought process, so he knows that I am truly cultivating in the Fa.
I am always upbeat and happy which has a direct effect on my husband—he is also always in a good mood. I often tell him that for a cultivator, suffering is a good thing. I tell him that whatever bad things I encounter will work out well as soon as I read the Fa. For cultivators, good things and bad things are all good things. When a cultivator experiences discomfort in the body, it is just the process of eliminating karma. Therefore, I don’t have anything to worry about and that’s why I am happy every day. I also tell him that all these principles are in the Dafa books.
During her last visit, my daughter asked my husband, “The happiness index of our family is the highest of anybody that I know. Where do you think it comes from?” Without being modest, I said, “I think it mostly comes from me because I no longer suffer from any illness, don’t need to be hospitalized or any medication. I can now eat anything, hot or cold, and no longer take self-interest seriously. Most importantly, I no longer get upset about trivial things.”
My daughter said, “Mother, not ‘mostly’ you, but 100 percent you. If you were still sick, I would have to stay close to home. I couldn’t take the best job offer, for it would likely take me away from home and I wouldn’t be able to take care of you. Now that you cultivate in Dafa, and haven’t had to take medicine in more than 20 years, I don’t have to worry about you. How about if Dad also does the exercises with us tomorrow?” My husband didn’t say no.
My daughter continued, “Our happiness is given by Master.” True. Without Dafa’s salvation, we wouldn’t be happy today. A person as stubborn, as opinionated, and as arrogant as my husband has changed because of Dafa. This change made me realize that there’s nothing that Dafa cannot resolve. As long as we purify ourselves and always consider others and sentient beings first, the power of our compassion can dissolve heaven and earth.
I am so grateful to Master. Thank you Master.