Senior Engineer Practices Falun Gong and Overcomes Severe Depression

(Minghui.org) Falun Dafa, also known as Falun Gong, has been well known for its miraculous health effects. I am a senior professional engineer and had suffered from severe depression. While modern medicine could not help, I was lucky to be able to practice Dafa, and my depression disappeared without taking any medicine. I am writing down my unforgettable stories to express my gratitude to Master, the founder of Falun Dafa, for his compassionate salvation.

Cultivating Dafa

I used to be very healthy, but in the second half of 2018, I suddenly had a health problem. My body was not responsive and my legs were weak. I became anxious and restless, followed by insomnia and heart palpitations. I also had an unbearable pain in the bones, with seemingly no direct cause.

I lost interest in everything and couldn't focus while reading or watching anything. My vision became blurry. My intelligence and memory also seriously weakened and I could not think clearly about a simple thing. I could easily be frightened by the slightest sound. Unable to do things well, I took a leave of absence from work.

I went to a big hospital for various examinations and tests, but no problem was found. After a little while, the symptoms of depression appeared and gradually got worse. I was not happy all day and did not want to see anyone. I lived in fear and started to have heart problems, stomach ache, nausea, and wet dreams.

I had an extremely painful feeling, as if lots of bugs were crawling inside my body. I started to lose weight, and felt that I would rather die than live.

Outwardly, I looked healthy, but I knew that my health was deteriorating day by day. I was unsteady and could fall at any time. I had difficulty going up and down a few stairs. I felt I was collapsing, mentally and physically, as if my life was coming to an end. A doctor friend said that I had almost all the symptoms of severe depression.

My father and grandfather had similar illnesses in their golden years, but not as severe as mine. My father got the best treatment by experts, but he became incapacitated after two years and passed away one year later.

I graduated from a prestigious college and was successful in my career. I had an enviable career and family. But now, these seemed meaningless! Everything such as career, friends and wealth did not mean anything to me anymore. I began to really understand the meaning of life that Master taught us in Zhuan Falun.

Master said,

“You cannot bring these things along with you at birth, or carry them away with you after death.” (Lecture Four, Zhuan Falun)

I started to have many questions. What was the point of everything that I had done before? What did I come to this world for? Why do I have to endure such great suffering?

My wife, a Falun Dafa practitioner, said, “Since the hospital cannot save you, you should practice Falun Dafa. Only Dafa can save you!”

Back in 1995, I had watched Master’s Fa lecture videos many times, and participated in group Fa study and group exercises. I knew that Dafa is good, and its profound principles have completely changed my view on life and values. But it was shameful that I always felt that cultivation was too difficult for a mediocre person like me who just wanted to be a good person and had no spiritual aspiration. After the Chinese communist regime started to persecute Dafa in 1999, I gradually slacked off in cultivation and then completely stopped.

Studying the Fa to Enhance Righteous Thoughts

While in despair, I realized that Dafa is my only hope. I made up my mind to resume the practice. I threw away all of my medicine and started to watch Master’s video lectures.

At that time, the torment of illness rendered me unable to do anything, but it was amazing that I could read Dafa books! So I started with Zhuan Falun, the main book of Falun Dafa, and Hong Yin. As I read the books, my pain eased a lot. It made me believe that merciful Master was helping me eliminate my sickness karma.

When I was in pain, Master’s poem “Tempering One’s Heart and Will” gave me strength. My wife encouraged me to memorize the poem, but I had a hard time doing it because of the severe memory loss. However, I clenched my teeth and finally was able to memorize it.

Master said,

“Reaching Consummation, obtaining Buddha’s Fruit,Eating bitterness treated as joy.Toiling the body does not count as bitterness,Cultivating the heart is most agonizing.Each and every barrier must be broken through,Here and there, demons are everywhere.A hundred hardships falling all at once,See how one lives.Able to endure suffering in the world,Transcending the world, is a Buddha.” (“Tempering One’s Heart and Will,” Hong Yin)

I later learned from the Minghui website that many fellow practitioners were memorizing Zhuan Falun. My wife asked me if I could do it, and my answer was absolutely positive. I started from “On Dafa.” I spent more than ten days, and still could not make it. But I persisted in trying and eventually was able to memorize it paragraph by paragraph.

Finally, it took me more than a year to memorize the whole book for the first time. I am currently doing it for the second time.

Due to my physical condition, I couldn’t do anything but cultivation – doing the exercises, studying the Fa, and memorizing Zhuan Falun. Every day, I read two chapters of Zhuan Falun and other lectures that Master taught in various places. Through Fa study, my righteous thoughts were strengthened unknowingly.

During Fa study, I sometimes felt my cells vibrating when I was in a good state. Sometimes, I felt a gust of cold air flowing out from my head down and through my feet. The sensation spooked me, but I knew it was because Master was cleansing my body.

Cultivate Diligently to Catch Up

Because of my weakness, getting up to do exercises in the morning was a big test. In the beginning, I had to lean on something for support. Although I wobbled, I never fell down. Although I was weak, I completed the exercises, and gradually it became less strenuous, including doing the standing stance. After a while, I could do all five exercises.

Sitting in a double-lotus position in meditation was very difficult for me because of the stiffness of my legs. Also, I have short calves and hard tendons, which added to the difficulty. At the beginning, I could not sit in a half lotus posture for even 15 minutes, much less a full lotus posture.

It was the time that a new version of the exercise music was released on the Minghui website, in which the standing stance was extended to one hour. I enlightened that one hour of time must be the minimum threshold for exercising, and I had to make it. I thus became very anxious.

One day, I made up my mind to break through the 15-minute barrier of meditation. Miraculously, I sat for 30 minutes, and my legs didn’t hurt so much. Later, I noticed that I could do the full-lotus position! One year later, I could meditate in full-lotus position for an hour and do the Falun Standing Stance for another hour. This gave me confidence in cultivation.

From the meditation experience, I knew that I could break through any barrier as long as I set my mind to it and persisted, no matter what.

It has been two years since I persisted in doing exercises in the morning. Now, I always get up without delay as soon as the alarm clock goes off, even if it is a holiday or if I’m out on a business trip. Master is in charge of my cultivation, and he will help me if I am determined to diligently cultivate and improve my xinxing.

Letting Go of the Attachment of Healing

I started to practice for the purpose of curing my diseases and the attachment has lingered for a long while. I experienced a lot of interference and my cultivation state fluctuated quite a lot. I wondered why there was no improvement in my health after I had practiced so hard. I became very distressed, but I continued cultivating because it was my only hope.

Later, I understood through Fa study that it was because I did not let go of my attachments. Due to karmic interference, I sometimes lost confidence and thought of going to the hospital when my ailments got worse. This situation has repeated itself several times. However, I became more clearheaded each time. I reminded myself to think about Master’s teachings “eating bitterness treated as joy” (“Tempering One’s Heart and Will” in Hong Yin), and gradually let go of the attachment.

I began to follow the requirements for a practitioner and considered myself a healthy person. I no longer wanted to isolate myself at home. With my wife’s encouragement, I ended my leave of absence and returned to work. It took about an hour one way to get to my office by bus. At that time, my balance was poor and I was still weak. I was worried that I might not be able to hold on if I did not have a seat on the bus. On the day I returned to work, I made up my mind to take the bus by myself, without my wife's assistance. Guess what happened. There was a vacant seat as soon as I got on the bus, and I got to the office smoothly. This situation happened many days in a row.

One day, I found that I had no problem standing. I then did not see any seat available on the bus. I knew that Master was taking care of me.

Three months after my practice, I was able to sleep and no longer felt depressed. I could eat, and felt that the food was delicious. I started to regain my strength.

My mind has gone through big changes also. I really did let go of my attachment of healing!

Not only was my health back to normal, I also experienced many miraculous changes. For example, my hair has turned black. The severe dandruff that has plagued me for years also disappeared.

Now, my eyesight is better, and I no longer need glasses. My thinking has become sharper, and I feel wiser. More importantly, I know the root cause of pain and illness in life. I know the true meaning of life. I also know that the goal of a human being is to return to one’s original true self.

Removing the Attachment of Fear and Clarifying the Truth

At this Fa-rectification stage, a true Dafa practitioner should do the three things well, especially clarifying the truth. I was introverted, timid, and very fearful since I was a child. I thus became reticent and was reluctant to talk to other people unless it was necessary. It was a big challenge for me to have a breakthrough in truth clarification.

For a long period of time, I heavily relied upon my wife on the cultivation path. I worked with her to talk about Falun Gong to relatives, friends, classmates, and colleagues. We talked to people face-to-face when we had sufficient time. Otherwise, we delivered to them Minghui periodicals, truth-information disks, calendars, and other materials.

My classmates and colleagues are well-educated. Some are in business and some are relatively successful in their careers. Many think that they are better than others in their judgment and skeptical about everything, which makes it difficult to talk to them about Dafa and even more so when it comes to persuading them to quit the CCP. But with our persistence, some of them were convinced and quit the Party.

We told our relatives about Falun Dafa in person when we visited our hometown. Most of the relatives were simple and kind. They could recognize the nature of the evil Party. Some quit the CCP after knowing the truth, and some also wanted to practice Dafa.

One day, I thought that I should clarify the truth alone. I believed that my introverted, timid, and fearful personality actually came from the attachments of fear and self-protection. I was afraid of being hurt and hid myself behind my attachments for protection. I had to get rid of the attachments.

People were scared during the COVID-19 pandemic. There were few on the streets, and everyone in the office was masked. They were very nervous, not knowing what the situation would turn out to be. I thought that would be a good opportunity for me to make a breakthrough because many people, in consideration of their own safety, would think about other issues. It was much easier to help them accept the truth.

I first strengthened my righteous thoughts through Fa study. I learned how to clarify the truth from articles on the Minghui website. I then began my efforts independently, convincing friends about the healing power of Dafa with my personal experiences. The result was very good. After talking to people one after another, I found myself able to speak clearly, and my fear subsided.

A family member of my colleague also suffered from depression. He has sought medical treatment everywhere to no avail, and could only rely on drugs. This situation put a heavy burden on my colleague and greatly affected her performance. I told her about how I got out of severe depression in three months by practicing Dafa. She was surprised and expressed the desire to cultivate. She also wanted her family members to practice Dafa.

Although my skills in truth clarification have improved, I am still hindered by attachments in some aspects. I am kept from making breakthroughs by my sense of self-esteem. I am a perfectionist and always want to succeed on the first try. If I fail to do so, I would feel defeated and awkward. I am also fearful and overwhelmed about safety, thus losing many opportunities to talk to people.

Getting to the bottom of it, these attachments actually reflect my selfishness. This means that I think of myself first. Now, I am working hard to get rid of these human notions.