I Now Have Balanced Thinking

(Minghui.org) As someone who has been practicing Falun Dafa for over 20 years, I’d like to share how I passed a xinxing test.

I used to think that I didn’t need to change the way I handled certain issues. After improving my understanding of the Fa, I realized that I was mistaken.

In fact, what I had to do was simple—look inward when problems occur. It took me a long time to realize this fact.

My husband is also a Falun Dafa practitioner. In October 2020, he experienced sickness karma that caused stroke symptoms. We studied the Fa together every night and sent righteous thoughts about what he was experiencing. I knew that he was being exploited by evil because he smoked cigarettes, and the evil was causing this physical persecution. If he didn’t recognize his wrongdoing and send righteous thoughts to negate the evil interference, the sickness karma would not go away.

But my husband disagreed with me. I felt that there was some kind of material obstacle, and that was why he didn’t listen to me. I felt helpless and angry, thinking that we cultivate ourselves, but no one can cultivate for someone else. We all have to rely on ourselves.

One day at our group Fa study, a practitioner asked me about my husband’s situation. As I was talking I started feeling resentful again and started blaming him for not improving. Another practitioner interrupted me and said, “I think the root of the problem is you. Have you looked inward to find the problem?” I was shocked. How was I wrong? She said, “You take his imperfection too seriously. The more unbalanced your mind is, the more the bad factors affect him, and the less likely it is he will listen to you. You have to let it go immediately, deal with it peacefully, and not just look at his shortcomings. When you do that, the evil behind the symptoms will collapse, and the bad factors will immediately disintegrate.”

I felt that what she said was very reasonable, and so I immediately stopped criticizing him. Just a few minutes later, I felt something in my heart “swish” away, and I became very relaxed. I wondered what it was that left. It was the resentment and attachment to self caused by my unbalanced thinking. Such thinking made me look down on my husband, focus on his shortcomings, and feel resentful that he didn’t change.

A few days later my husband’s state changed completely. He seemed more alert, was able to listen to me share my understanding of his situation, and his physical condition improved a lot.

I was ashamed of my inability to recognize such a simple problem. It was my resentment that prevented my husband from moving forward. Behind my unbalanced mentality and resentment was the attachment to self. I always looked at and commented about others, and thus missed many opportunities to improve. I really didn’t cultivate myself well.

From this I realized that this phenomenon occurs among other fellow practitioners. For example, a male practitioner often complained to me, “I just can’t get through the family tribulations. My wife has a bad temper, and I don’t know how to deal with her verbal abuse or her fists. I endure until I can’t hold it in, then, I fight with her and regret it afterwards. I have been lingering in this state for a while.” I said to him, “If you have an unbalanced attitude, the other person’s behavior will mirror it. If you look at your wife from the basis of the Fa, and at the same time be considerate of her, cherish this life, and treat her kindly, will she still behave like that?” Later, this practitioner said, “You were right. When I don’t fight with her, she no longer gets angry with me.”

I finally realized a principle. No matter how bad the other party is behaving, be it an everyday person or another practitioner, we just need to take a step back and not compete or fight with them. We should look for our own faults, and look at the other person’s strengths. For example, when you look at a piece of jade, don’t focus on the inclusions, just see the beauty of the whole. This state is noble in itself. If you can do that, can the other party not change? Master is in charge, and Dafa is governing everything.

Fa-rectification period cultivation is nearing the end. In the time I have left, I will strive forward diligently, cultivate myself, and do the three things well.