(Minghui.org) I have cultivated in Falun Dafa since March 1999, and stumbled again and again, as I faced a rough journey. However, I didn’t know why. Notions of ordinary people emerged in my mind as soon as I ran into problems. Whatever I faced made me forget about holding righteous thoughts. I couldn’t solidly cultivate, because I couldn’t remember the requirements of the Fa at the time.
I used to sit with my legs crossed in the full lotus position, but could no longer do so since the beginning of June 2021. One of my legs always slid off as soon as I put it above the other. I had to do meditation in the half lotus position. I could no longer concentrate well either. Even walking would make me feel heavy on my legs. I panted badly when climbing stairs. I had never felt like this. I thought that there must be something wrong with my cultivation. I knew that I should look within, but I didn’t know how. I tried, but couldn’t find anything wrong. I thought I did well when it came to the three things, and had even memorized some Fa. I was confused.
Master must have seen my confusion. He enlightened me that I had failed to control my human notions. I realized that I had human notions which I hadn’t identified. As I searched, an idea jumped into my mind, “blaming others.” Yes, that’s it! I always blamed others when problems occurred. I always thought I was right and better than others. I always thought the problem was with other people, and couldn’t see my own problems reflected through others.
I also found I had a fighting mentality, jealousy, attachment to fame and fortune, competitiveness, seeking comfort, as well problems of looking down on others. Besides, I was selfish, held fear, was self-protective, covered my mistakes, and much more. Besides, I haven’t let go of my ego. My notions weren’t righteous, but degenerated human notions, developed by being indoctrinated by the Chinese Communist Party (CCP). My failure to distinguish my true self and the false one has become my obstacle. I now understood that I was far from the requirements of the Fa!
Master further enlightened me during my Fa study one day. The following paragraph stood out from the rest:
“Some people size themselves up with the fallen moral standard, and they think they’re better than other people. That’s because even the standard for measuring has changed. But it doesn’t matter how mankind’s moral standard changes, the nature of the universe doesn’t change, and it is the only standard for determining who’s good and who’s bad. So to be a cultivator you have to take the nature of the universe as your guide for improving yourself. You can’t go by ordinary people’s standards. If you want to return to your original, true self, if you want to raise your level by cultivating, you have to live by this standard.” (The First Talk, Zhuan Falun)
After over 20 years, I finally understood this paragraph of the Fa. Isn’t it telling me to change my human notion and measure myself with the Fa? I truly understand now. The only way to make improvement and obtain the Fa is to completely let go of my human notions and assimilate to the Fa.
My family life is my cultivation environment. I used to be pushy and insist on having the final say. I looked down upon my son and my daughter-in-law. I thought my daughter-in-law was lazy and neglected to do housework and take care of her son. I was mad because she let me take care of her work. Even though I didn’t bicker with them, I showed my annoyed attitude. My family atmosphere was a little tense. I finally realized that I was wrong. What I have done was the opposite to what a cultivator should do. What they have done provided opportunities for me to reflect upon myself and eliminate my attachments. They actually paved the path for me to make improvements.
After I changed my own notions, my family environment improved. My daughter-in-law became hardworking. She readily does housework. We enjoy a harmonious relationship.
Thank you, compassionate Master! I’m determined to cultivate myself diligently, and fulfill my mission!