[Singapore Fa Conference] Weathering Family Storms and Remembering That I’m a Practitioner

(Minghui.org) Greetings benevolent Master! Greetings fellow practitioners!

During the COVID pandemic, I traveled to and fro between Singapore and Malaysia to look after my seriously ill mother.

Master Li (Dafa’s founder) cited an example in the ninth talk of Zhuan Falun telling us, “how to suffer beyond the normal threshold.” My limited understanding of this phrase means that a whole string of tribulations befalls a cultivator such as losing his job, his parent falling sick, his son beating someone up in school, his wife having an affair, etc. A cultivator needs to be able to endure these sufferings, which are beyond the normal threshold. I’d like to tell you about my experience which gave me some insight into this segment of Master’s Fa.

In 2020, my 91-year-old mother was gravely ill. I already started the application process to renew my permanent resident permit in May. More than four months passed, but there were still no results. In the past, this process only took a few weeks. As my mother’s health was deteriorating rapidly, my sister in Malaysia kept urging me to come back. Although we were just one causeway apart, it felt like we were thousands of miles apart.

I was very anxious and kept going to the immigration department, but they kept telling me to wait for news or wait for the email. I asked the staff if I could meet the person in charge and she replied that I needed to write an email to ask for a meeting. I thought that if we were only allowed to communicate through emails, who knows how many more weeks the process would take.

It seemed like my mother would pass away at any time. I wanted to get the permit as soon as possible but there was nothing I could do. The anxiety built up and I wept. Some relatives and friends suggested that I seek help from my member of parliament. I brought the proof from the hospital about my mother’s grave state and visited the member of parliament. A few days after we met, the immigration department informed me that my application for the permit was approved.

I could not wait to get home. However, as both Singapore and Malaysia were under lockdown, not only were there many complicated procedures to get through the customs of both countries but there was also contradictory information on the websites about the procedures. I kept posting questions online to clarify, but there were no clear answers. I did not even know if I could drive my car or take a bus but I was determined to get home. I went online to apply for entry into Malaysia and my application was approved after a few days.

I finally entered Malaysia. However, due to the COVID restrictions, I still had to quarantine in a hotel for 14 days. When I was driving through the causeway, the roads that were usually filled with traffic, were never so empty. In the past, it always seemed so easy to travel to and fro but now the journey was full of tribulations.

I was worried about my mother’s condition, and I could not help but cry. While I was quarantined for 14 days, I made good use of the time to study the Fa and practice the exercises with practitioners online. I read articles on Minghui.org and encouraged my mother to wait for my return through video conferences.

My mother was still conscious but when the pain came, it was hard for her to bear. Whenever my mother’s condition worsened, my sister phoned me and told me that my mother could not hang on for long. My mood fluctuated with her condition. I did not know if my mother would last until the 14 days were up.

Then I heard that people who are under quarantine at hotels are allowed to wear protective clothes to visit patients or attend funerals. Therefore, I wrote an email to apply for this. After communicating back and forth through emails, I finally received the approval 7 days later. However, as there was a mistake in the approved address, I had to go through another few rounds of emails to get it revised. By the time the address was finally revised, the quarantine period was almost up. The authorized representative also persuaded me to give up. It was only then that I finally gave up.

Among the six siblings in our family, I am the youngest so I am the baby in the family. I was always well-loved by my parents. I led a pampered life and grew up in a family environment that did not require me to worry. Our mother relied on me because I have an easygoing character. Every time I returned from Singapore, she asked me to accompany her to settle matters, visit the doctor, go to the bank, buy household necessities, etc. If I did not return for a slightly longer period of time, she called and urged me to hurry back.

The moment I saw her, no words can describe the turmoil in my heart. I encouraged my mother, saying that she was great to be able to wait until I returned. I thought that since I returned, I should spend the rest of her remaining time looking after her and staying with her as long as possible. However, things did not turn out as I expected.

A Storm on the Horizon

My mother stayed at my second brother’s house. He married a young Vietnamese woman. I never expected that she would not allow me to stay in their house to assist my mother at night. My sister-in-law allowed me to stay in their house during the day to look after my mother, but at night, I needed to look for another place to sleep. Initially, my sisters did not dare to tell me about this as they were afraid that I would not accept it. When they heard his wife’s decision, they asked my second brother if he knew about this. He only replied that he had no choice.

When they finally told me about it, I was in disbelief. I wondered why the sisters were telling me, “Arrange where you are going to sleep tonight, whether at a sister’s house or at your nephew’s house.” When I understood why they said this, I was very sad and disappointed with my second brother. He could not even stand up to his wife so his sister could stay at his house to look after our mother—even when she was in this dire state. I started complaining about him.

I recalled a conflict I had with his wife about three years ago. My mother is easygoing. When they were first married, things were fine. However, over time, she started bullying my mother. I also witnessed how she smashed and banged things. She even kicked someone in front of me. I just kept reminding myself to tolerate her behavior and not have bad thoughts about her. I also did not wish my mother to see us quarreling.

During the Chinese New Year holiday, my mother’s grandchild invited my mother and me over for a meal. He is my ex-second sister-in-law’s son (the ex-wife’s son) and is in his 30s. We accepted the invitation and I accompanied my mother to his house for the meal. However, we did not expect this news to be spread among the relatives on social media and this Vietnamese second sister-in-law heard about it.

She was very unhappy so my mother apologized to her. I was in my mother’s room when I suddenly heard a commotion outside. I stepped out to see what happened and saw my second sister-in-law kicking things here and there like crazy. Seeing my nearly 90-year-old elderly mother being verbally abused, I simmered with rage.

I asked her, “Why do you always bully my mother?!” Seeing that a storm was brewing, her husband quickly caught hold of me while my mother and the maid caught hold of his wife to avoid us starting a fight.

Afterward, I cried. I told Master that I am sorry. I did not abide by the principle of forbearance. Master always reminds us to abide by “Truthfulness, Compassion and Forbearance” but I could not control myself during the conflict.

Master said, “...don’t think that the issues you experience with people are by chance. They’re not, even if they come out of the blue. They are meant to perfect your character. You will manage to handle them well as long as you act as a practitioner.” (The Fourth Talk, Zhuan Falun)

This was obviously a chance for me to improve my xinxing but I did not handle it well. Filled with remorse, I gradually let go of my complaints and hatred towards my second sister-in-law and no longer resented the way she behaved in the past.

I realized that because I did not handle the situation with patience and compassion my second sister-in-law did not allow me to stay in their house. I could only stay at my nephew’s house. A few days later, my eldest sister talked to my second sister-in-law again and said that this would not do. Only after that did she agree to allow me to stay by my mother’s side to look after her.

Setting Aside Resentment

One problem was resolved but another one surfaced. Every morning and night I needed to look after my gravely ill mother. Doing this for a few days or even a week is fine. However, as the days passed, I became tired. I was worried that if I slept too soundly, I would not hear my mother call for me if her pain intensified and she could not breathe. I did not dare to sleep soundly.

As the days passed, I could no longer fall asleep. I was afraid that this would affect my ability to care for my mother so I talked with my sisters to see if I could take one day off every week. However, they all had all sorts of excuses and no one could take over for one day. The feeling of resentment built up in my heart again. But after reflecting, I decided that I should just let go of my resentment and persist on by myself. The sisters are all older than me and I am a cultivator so my body is in better shape than theirs. If I did not take up this task, who could?

I frequently recited the nine special words, “Falun Dafa is Good, Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is Good” to my mother. The Tianyin column in Zhengjian.org has a song called The 9 Golden Words. I often played the song for her. The hardest part of staying by my mother’s side 24 hours to look after her was that I could not read the Fa quietly.

I asked my mother if I could go and rest in the living room every night after she fell asleep. I wanted to use this opportunity to catch up on my Fa study. However, my mother hoped that I could be by her side all the time as my presence gave her a sense of security. One day later, my mother understood and agreed to let me go to the next room to rest. As I had the opportunity to study Fa, my condition improved. If not, it would really be hard for me to overcome this tribulation.

Now, whenever I exchange cultivation thoughts with new practitioners, I always tell them to study the Fa more. Only through studying the Fa well will we be able to eliminate all sorts of disturbances. I now have a deep understanding of this.

After more than a month, my mother passed away. My car was stolen the day before she died. The access card and keys to my apartment in Malaysia were in the car. I thought that this was bad as the thief could access my apartment and steal things. I immediately filed a police report. However, I did not expect my mother to pass away the next day. I had no time to go back and change the lock on my apartment. Luckily, I had my neighbor’s phone number and I asked him to help and add a padlock on my gate.

Funerals have all kinds of rituals. I knew that if I did not follow the customs, people might have some misunderstandings. There are so many people in the family and in order for them not to have any obstructions in understanding the truth about Falun Dafa so that they could be saved, I tried my best to cooperate with them. When they recited the scriptures, I quietly recited, “Falun Dafa is Good, Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is Good.”

My eldest brother did not attend the funeral as he lives in another state in Malaysia. In the Chinese tradition, the eldest son has an important role but he was not there. My eldest brother and I had a good relationship and he was also very filial to our parents. When our father passed away more than a decade ago, he left behind a business, and parts of it were equally distributed among the children. As my eldest brother is relatively more wealthy, he once said that he did not want his share. However, he later changed his mind. His wife was not satisfied with the way the properties were being distributed.

This caused some quarrels between my eldest brother and sisters. Therefore, after my father died ten years ago, my eldest brother did not visit our mother. When our mother was gravely ill, he came back once, in a hurry, and took the deed to the shop. During the years when our mother was gravely ill, even the day when she passed away, my eldest brother’s wife never made one phone call to show concern for her.

Forgiving My Brother

While she was still alive our mother very much hoped that we siblings would live together in harmony. I also hoped that everyone could gather together as we did in the past. However, now that our parents were no longer around, I also felt like I lost both of my brothers. Quarreling over personal gain, my family members became strangers. Therefore, I started to have some grudges against my brothers.

After the funeral, my brother sat in the front seat of the bus, holding the urn containing our mother’s ashes. His solemn and aged appearance made me suddenly feel that I could let go of everything—all my resentment. Every family has its problems and everyone has their own difficulties. My second brother is already in his 60s and he has heart problems. His current wife is less than 40 years old and is a foreigner so her mandarin is not fluent and she does not know how to communicate well with others; their 2 children are still so young. One night my second brother needed to be rushed to the hospital, but his wife does not drive well, so his sisters drove him to the hospital.

I tidied up my mother’s room. Before I left, I said to my second brother, “Let’s set aside all our grievances. We are still siblings. If you need help, ask me.” As soon as I said these words, I felt relieved. If I did not practice Falun Dafa, I would not have been able to set aside my resentment.

Seven days after my mother died, I thought that I finally settled everything. Just then, the neighbor of my apartment in Malaysia called and said that the thief came to my house and tried to open the lock but failed. I quickly called the police and hurried to the police station. The police said they arranged for men to be stationed around the place but did not catch the thief.

During that period of time, I went through tribulation after tribulation. My husband, a fellow practitioner, was not by my side, so I had to face everything by myself. Luckily I have Dafa and I often feel that Master is right by my side. No matter what happens, I am not scared. I always have the feeling that I will be able to overcome any difficulties. Master is always looking after and protecting me.

Two weeks after my car was stolen, the day I planned to return to Singapore, the police called and said that my car was found. Due to the pandemic, it’s not easy to travel to and forth through customs. I stayed behind to retrieve my car before I returned to Singapore.

One week later, I got my car. In Malaysia, it’s very rare for a stolen car to be found, so this is proof of the miraculous powers of Dafa. I told my family about this miracle and hoped that they understood this happened due to Dafa’s amazing power.

In fact, when the car was stolen, I was very calm. I believe deeply in what Master said, “..you needn’t worry about people taking what is rightfully yours...” (The Seventh Talk, Zhuan Falun)

Be it gain or loss, I should not take it to heart. However, I had the feeling that the car would come back. Having cultivated for so many years, this car has been working with me, ferrying practitioners, truth-clarifying materials, and newspapers. It has also helped to transport Tian Guo Marching Band’s instruments......it was an instrument for my truth-clarification. In the end, I successfully drove the car back to Singapore.

I matured a lot through these experiences. At the time, these tribulations seemed overwhelming. Although they are not like what the book has mentioned the feeling is the same. The tribulations came one after another. If I did not have Master and Dafa, it would have really been very difficult for me to deal with so many conflicts, one after another, and survive the ordeal.

As I recalled and wrote down my experiences for this Fa Conference, I felt that I am still far from the Fa’s requirements. Through these experiences and conflicts, a large portion of the complaints and hatred that I had in the past have been eliminated. I feel that I cultivated a lot. However, now I feel that I still need to look within and cultivate myself.

I still have many attachments that I have yet to completely get rid of. I still often complain about things, prove myself, display my strengths to others, am prone to seek comfort, have an attachment to lust and desires, get jealous of others, not guard my speech, etc. I still need to cultivate a lot in these aspects. I must remember Master’s teachings, “Let joy be found in hardship” (Tempering the Will, Hong Yin) in my heart and change my sentient notions completely.

During the pandemic, I studied the Fa, practiced the exercises, memorized the Fa, and made truth-clarification phone calls over the phone-calling platform together with practitioners online. Every day is very fulfilling. After the lockdown ended, we had even more chances to save people. As long as I am able to do it, I will participate in all sorts of truth-clarifying activities. I cherish everything that Master gave me and I also cherish every opportunity to validate the Fa. I will try my best to do the three things well, keep improving my xinxing, and follow Master to complete this last stretch of the path to validate the Fa.

Fellow practitioners, let’s be diligent in our cultivation! Master is waiting for us!

Thank you Master! Thank you fellow practitioners!

(Presented at the 2022 Singapore Fa Conference)