(Minghui.org) I began practicing Falun Dafa when I was very young, and I’ve been blessed with Master’s protection throughout my childhood, student years, and in my professional career.
As a young adult, it’s very easy to be affected by society’s unhealthy social trends. My conduct may have unwittingly violated traditional values. Fortunately, with Master’s guidance, I did not follow the crowd and instead became increasingly aware of the deviated elements in my thinking and worked hard to eliminate them. I want to share some recent insights about the value of traditions and express my deep gratitude and respect for our compassionate Master and Dafa.
Master mentioned “tradition” and “modern concepts” numerous times in Hong Yin V and Hong Yin VI, and many articles were published on Minghui.org about returning to traditional ways and breaking from deviated modern concepts. I realized that although I like traditional culture, my understanding of what it means and its connotations is relatively shallow.
I used to think that it was good enough to be a good person, to do good deeds, to accumulate virtue, etc. I thought I was following traditional values, but I noticed that I still had some degenerated concepts.
I recently gained a deeper understanding of filial piety. As an old saying goes, “Filial piety comes first in good deeds.” But today, values like filial piety are seldom mentioned.
For example, some children are disrespectful when they talk to their parents or elders. They tend to argue loudly. Some parents, even though they’re aware of their children’s problems, dare not say anything for fear of aggravating the situation and making their children even more rebellious and hard to handle.
I was considered to be a well-behaved child. But as I got older, although I still maintained my kind nature, I became a bit disrespectful toward my parents. I was not rebellious, but in junior high school, I sometimes talked back to my father. I tended to “expose” his shortcomings and did not accept his views. As a college student, I felt that I knew a lot more than my parents and I was no longer a child.
I sometimes spoke impatiently or lost my temper. As a female, my father never reprimanded me severely, even when I argued with him. I did not think my behavior was bad, even though I could feel that my father had some opinions about me. I thought that I did not owe my parents anything; I was disrespectful and different from their generation.
At that time, I didn’t have a clear understanding of the Fa principles and wasn’t very diligent in cultivation. I didn’t realize that we should not only cultivate our xinxing when communicating with people but should also abide by the cultivation standards when dealing with those closest to us, as our family is also part of our cultivation environment. As a cultivator, I need to let go of human attachments and become an even better person. Then why couldn’t I respect my parents?
Master said,
“Of course, while cultivating in ordinary human society, we should be good to our parents and look after our children. Under all circumstances, we must be good and kind to others, not to mention to our family members. We should treat everyone in the same way. We must be good to our parents and children and be considerate of others in all respects. Such a heart is thus unselfish, and it is a heart of kindness and benevolence—it is compassion.” (Lecture Six, Zhuan Falun)
Through Fa study and reading practitioners’ sharing articles, I gradually saw my problems and started looking at my relationship with my father from the perspective of cultivation.
I paid attention to the tone I used with my father and stopped nagging him about his drinking. Instead, I reasoned with him kindly about how he should take care of his health and let him feel that, as his daughter, I really cared about him.
I sometimes didn’t agree with what my father said. I knew I was being self-righteous, so I reminded myself not to argue with him and to speak calmly when sharing my views with him.
When my father pointed out what I did wrong at work, I reminded myself not to argue or explain myself. Instead, I tried to understand his thoughts and suggestions from his perspective, and at the same time, let go of my argumentative mentality and attachment to saving face.
It wasn’t easy, but I regarded such situations as tests I must pass in cultivation and attachments I must let go of. Gradually, things began to change for the better. I no longer had the urge to argue or defend myself, and the atmosphere in my family became more harmonious. I understand that, “Cultivation depends on one’s own efforts, while the transformation of gong is done by one’s master.” (Lecture One, Zhuan Falun)
Because I sincerely wanted to get rid of any degenerated elements I had and tried my best to temper my conduct, Master helped me remove them.
Another thing showed me my deeply hidden, deviated thinking. My father rarely does any housework. My mother mostly does it, and I help sometimes. However, whenever I saw my father lying on the bed playing with his mobile phone while my mother and I cleaned the house, I felt unbalanced and thought, “Mom and I are so tired, can’t you help a bit?”
One day, I suddenly thought: “Would the ancients expect their parents to do the housework? Would they get annoyed if their father didn’t do any household chores?” The ancients would have considered my behavior to be wrong as they paid attention to virtue and respected their elders. It shows that I developed a deviated way of thinking that went against tradition.
I realized my reaction to my father showed that I still have a competitive mentality and the attachments of resentment and jealousy. For a long time, I placed myself on an equal footing with my parents and thought we should share the same responsibility in doing household chores.
However, parents are parents, and they should enjoy the status of being the elders in the family. Children have been taken care of by their parents since birth, so they should repay their parents’ kindness for raising them, and they should do more at home.
I also realized that, subconsciously, I felt my parents should be good to me. If they weren’t, then they were in the wrong. I seldom thought about what I have done for my parents; in fact, I often took my parents for granted.
For example, things that I do not dare to say to others in public for fear of hurting their feelings; I say to my parents, thinking that they are my parents, so I can say anything I like. Even if what I say makes them feel uncomfortable, I don’t feel bad because they are my parents, and there are zero consequences.
These hidden thoughts were hard to detect. I understood that as Falun Dafa cultivators, we should be kind to people we don’t even know, let alone our parents. This is not only repaying their kindness but is also out of the genuine compassion we have cultivated in Dafa.
In addition to filial piety, I also gained some insights in terms of my living habits. The ancients said: “Start working at sunrise and rest after sunset.” Such a habit makes good use of the time available to us, whereas a disorderly daily schedule is harmful to people both mentally and physically.
I realized that I should go to bed early, get up early. I should try to break the habit of staying up late that I developed as a college student. As a practitioner, I should get up early in the morning and do the exercises. If I stay up very late, I find it difficult to get up early in the morning, this can affect my cultivation practice.
We should pay attention to our manners. Having a good demeanor and being upright are the norms traditional culture expects of human beings, and they offer guidance in our conduct.
I haven’t done well in this respect. For example, I usually cross my legs when I sit or slump in a chair. I should pay attention to my posture.
Through cultivation, I learned that cherishing material objects and food, being frugal, and not being fussy about one’s food and clothing are also virtues advocated in traditional culture. They reflect our xinxing. If one can do well in these aspects, one’s attachments to self, comfort, laziness, lust, personal gain, and showing off will be significantly reduced.
Master said in the poem “Creating Anew,”: “... Return to tradition to connect with the divine ...”
I realized that many traditional virtues are not only standards of conduct for everyday people but also have great significance for Dafa practitioners. Diligence can remove the desire for comfort, steadiness can replace an impetuous mentality, thriftiness can eliminate the attachment to vanity and the show-off mentality, humility can remove a competitive mentality and the attachment to validating oneself, etc. Our attachments and the deviated factors behind them usually sustain our deeply ingrained habits that are not in line with traditional culture.
As a cultivator I know there are still many deviated concepts in my thinking, some are very difficult to detect. I am so fortunate to find Falun Dafa, and have Master and Dafa to guide me! I will rectify myself through cultivation, return to true traditions, and return to my true home with Master.