Ridding of Fear Mentality While Working in a Government Unit

(Minghui.org) I was offered a new job at a township government unit last year. Many colleagues in my work unit know that I practice Falun Dafa. Once a colleague asked me arrogantly in front of everyone in the office, “Do you still practice Falun Dafa?” This stressed me out, and I felt afraid.

I started practicing Falun Dafa in 1998 when I had just dropped out of high school as I was depressed. I used to be an outstanding student that others envied. However, I suddenly decided to drop out of school and had been suffering from insomnia for two years. I woke up very early, but I was too tired to get up. Living in the countryside, my parents and relatives didn’t understand my situation. I felt despair and tried to commit suicide once.

After practicing Falun Dafa for two months, I got rid of insomnia and could sleep peacefully. Master taught “Your Main Consciousness Should Dominate” and “Your Mind Must Be Righteous” in Zhuan Falun. When bad thoughts appeared in my mind and I felt depressed, I understood that it was not the real me. I just kept rejecting and not acknowledging it.

Gradually, I eliminated the torture of depression. My heart was full of joy and hope. I also understood that cultivators cannot kill lives, and that committing suicide is a sin.

Master said,

“Of course, while cultivating in ordinary human society, we should be good to our parents and look after our children. Under all circumstances, we must be good and kind to others, not to mention to our family members. We should treat everyone in the same way.” (Lecture Six, Zhuan Falun)

It was hard for my parents to raise me. I should respect my parents and be considerate.

Master helped me open up my wisdom. I was often learning about ordinary people’s knowledge, while I was taking care of my work and family. During these years, I obtained a driver’s license, an intermediate social worker certificate, and a teacher’s qualification certificate.

Last year I began to work at a township government unit where many colleagues know that I practice Dafa. One colleague asked me arrogantly in front of everyone in the office, “Do you still practice Falun Dafa?” I responded that we had known each other for a long time and the question wouldn’t do anyone any good. He looked at me for a moment and silently left.

Another colleague loudly told everyone on the shuttle bus about my unpleasant past after I got off the bus. My older sister relayed the incident to me after she heard it from an acquaintance.

This made me very stressed and afraid. Through studying the Fa, I realized that the more fear I have, the more troubles I would have. I can only study the Fa more, send forth more righteous thoughts, let go of my fear, and leave everything to Master. Gradually, I got along better with my colleagues. I also treated these two colleagues with compassion and greeted them. Now, when they see me, they will also smile and say hello to me.

Sometimes I feel conflicted inside, and I often question myself, should I not come to work here? I used to be disgusted when I saw the red flag of the evil communist party, but now there are signs of the evil party everywhere I look. For a period of time, I was frowning all day long, and I thought to resign. I really attempted to leave this place.

But through studying the Fa, I understood that I must be responsible for all sentient beings, and I should not resign. Although I still have fear mentality and cannot clarify the truth to my colleagues, I want to use the compassion I cultivated in Dafa to treat them well, I want to use the image of a Dafa disciple to influence them because they are all related to me.

I gradually stopped worrying about whether I should work in a government agency. Sometimes I think that there might be Dafa practitioners among the high-ranking officials in Beijing. If there were Dafa practitioners in every government department to clarify the truth and validate Dafa, this persecution might have ended long ago.