(Minghui.org) I began to practice Falun Dafa in 1998. I saw that my husband had put a copy of Zhuan Falun on top of his bed. When I turned it over, I saw that Master Li Hongzhi’s portrait was in a Buddha’s image. I excitedly shouted out to my husband, “Your Master is a Buddha! You must put your heart into learning it.” With this thought, Master Li began to take care of me. Back then, I practiced other types of qigong. Master later cleaned up the bad substances in my body from those wicked practices. My husband and I then began to embark on our cultivation paths.
Even though I had practiced other types of qigong for quite some time, my illnesses were not healed. But soon after I began to practice Falun Dafa, I became illness-free. This happiness made me feel uplifted. I was so excited that I went all over the place to tell people about the Fa. My personal experience also impressed my relatives and friends. Many of them began to practice as well. At that time, I was immersed in the joy of obtaining the Fa.
The Harsh Reality of Persecution
Then to my regret, before I even studied a lot of the Fa, the persecution under Jiang Zemin, the former Chinese Communist Party (CCP) leader, began. At that time, I didn’t know how to cultivate and lacked rationality. In September 2001, I took truth-clarification materials to the director of the Police Bureau, who was from my hometown. I was then reported, illegally arrested, and detained at the Masanjia Forced Labor Camp that year.
After I was detained for more than five months, I suddenly had a fever one day. Two hours later, I began to spit up blood. After the guards learned about this, they became very scared. They took me to Shenyang Medical University Hospital for a checkup, where I was diagnosed with tuberculosis. Fearing the spread of the disease, I was bailed out on medical parole 20-plus days later.
Miraculously, after I returned home, I had quite a few examinations, and everything was normal. I knew that those symptoms were really an extraordinary manifestation of Dafa in me. Master had protected me.
When I went to tell people about the persecution on October 22, 2005, I was followed by police officers and arrested. After I was held at a detention center for 13 days, I was thrown into Masanjia Forced Labor Camp. I was released 17 months later.
On November 5, 2014, while I distributed Dafa pamphlets, I was tracked down by police officers and arrested again. After I was illegally detained for 29 months at a detention center, I was thrown into Liaoning Province Women’s Prison and wasn’t released until seven months later.
My Struggle with Sentimentality
At that time, my husband was persecuted to the brink of death by the old forces in the form of sickness karma. He had lost consciousness and was in the ICU. What waited for me after I was released from prison was his being in the hospital. When I had to face that, I felt extremely desperate. I couldn’t accept the unexpected difference between the excitement of regaining my freedom from prison, and the reality in front of me. Seeing my state, fellow practitioners came to comfort me and told me to stay rational, but I couldn’t take their advice in.
Upon seeing my husband, who was unconscious and dependent on a ventilator machine, I was stunned. The numbers showing on the monitors around him made me scared. I was moved by sentimentality and lost my righteous thoughts. I couldn’t maintain them anymore and became weaker.
Upon returning home after having been away for quite a while, I wept in front of the table where Master’s portraits were placed, saying to Him: Master! Your disciple let you down! What should I do? Master, please give me one more chance, I can’t let him die! Otherwise, it could cause a negative impact to the sentient beings around us. My relatives and friends already have misunderstandings towards me, given my imprisonment. If the situation were to get worse, it’d negatively impact those who just began to practice and knew the truth about Dafa.
Looking back at my 20 years of cultivation, I kept stumbling, yet Master continuously protected me. Otherwise, I couldn’t have returned home from the labor camp. Empowered by Master, I gradually regained righteous thoughts. My faith in Master and Dafa became stronger. With the help of a great practitioner sent by Master, I made up my mind to break through this trial and confront it with my righteous thoughts.
Miracles Are Displayed Through My Husband
I began to study the Fa intensively, yet I always failed to suppress my thought karma and bad ideas. I always thought: What if my husband died, what should I do? This thought kept popping up. I was so afraid of losing him because I was dependent on him, and my sentimentality was too strong.
After local practitioners learned about my situation, they teamed up to take turns going to the hospital to send forth righteous thoughts for him. One practitioner found experience-sharing articles for me every day and read them to me. She encouraged me to let go of fear. She said, “We have Master here; we have Dafa here. We will for sure negate the evil arrangement of the old forces.”
She also shared with me how she, empowered by Master, used her extraordinary willpower to break through two sickness karma illusions: One was cancer, the other was her husband’s sickness karma tribulation. She also shared with me how to deny the old forces’ arrangements from our every thought and action. Her experience encouraged me a great deal. As soon as a bad thought popped up in my mind, I’d eliminate it. Another practitioner came to the ICU to recite the Fa to my husband out loud to wake up his main consciousness.
Master said:
“But all the same, Master doesn’t acknowledge them. And you shouldn’t acknowledge them either. Do things well in an upright and dignified way, negate them, and strengthen your righteous thoughts some. “I’m Li Hongzhi’s disciple, I don’t want other arrangements or acknowledge them”—then they won’t dare to do that. So it can all be resolved. When you can really do that, not just saying it but putting it into action, Master will definitely stand up for you.” (Teachings Given on Lantern Festival Day, 2003)
My husband indeed took in the Fa that this practitioner recited for him; his main consciousness was awakened! At that moment, he recalled that he was a practitioner. He shared about this after he regained consciousness.
Under Master’s benevolent empowerment and practitioners’ help, after a very difficult 100-plus days, my child and I took my husband home. My husband still had a tracheotomy tube and a feeding tube. At that time, the hospital said they couldn’t do anything more for him.
After he came home, we listened to Master’s recorded lectures day and night. My husband started to improve very quickly. I once asked if he wanted to have the tracheotomy tube removed, he nodded yes. So I went ahead and took that away from him. Then the cut in his throat needed to be treated. Due to the limited sanitary conditions at home, it could very easily get infected if he were to breathe in dirty air. He would be prone to putting his life in danger if it didn’t heal properly. I decided to leave everything up to Master. The cut miraculously healed in a few days. It all came down to Master, who gave me the courage and confidence. This was truly a miracle in the medical field!
During the process, I talked to a personal caregiver, who came to help my husband, about the staged “self-immolation incident on Tiananmen Square,” where a young girl who survived could still sing, despite the fact that her trachea was cut open. The caregiver learned the truth and decided to quit the CCP.
After my husband could talk, I helped him recall many past things he overcame. For example, the police blackmailed tens of thousands of yuan from him. Another time, they were about to arrest him, so he couldn’t stay at home and went to his sister’s place to hide. I could truly feel the difficulty he had been through. The next step was to remove his feeding tube. His doctor said, “In his later half of life, he has to be on a feeding tube, as he has lost the ability to swallow.” I helped him to try multiple times, but he still couldn’t swallow. Per his doctor, he couldn’t swallow because he fell so hard, which caused intracranial bleeding and suppressed his ability to swallow.
But I firmly believed Dafa is extraordinary. I believed in Master’s omnipotence and wanted to leave everything up to Him. Suddenly, I recalled what the practitioners recited for him: “I’m Li Hongzhi’s disciple, I don’t want other arrangements or acknowledge them” (Teachings Given on Lantern Festival Day, 2003).
I then became clear: Wasn’t everything that happened to my husband the old forces’ evil arrangements? Wasn't this cruel reality intended to destroy him? I would for sure snap out of this dead end and firmly negate it. I sent out the thought: “With Master here, Dafa here, we can do it!” So I asked my husband, “The doctor said you can’t eat on your own, but do you think you can?” He replied loudly, “Eating is one’s human nature, I can!” I was shocked, wasn’t this Master’s encouragement?! In front of everyone in our family, he ate a bowl of porridge and didn’t choke on a single bite. I was so excited that I couldn’t find the words to express it!
The doctor also said that my husband lost mobility on his left side due to a stroke. I thought this is human logic, and I did not acknowledge it. When his feeding tube was removed, I wanted to have him try to stand up. After he stood up, before he even sat down, he closed his eyes, then dropped his head and passed out.
As soon as I was about to call out to Master, I couldn’t stand and fell to the ground. My husband ended up falling on me and then woke up. It was so dangerous! I quickly looked inward and found my competitive mentality. I recalled how I always wanted to argue with my husband, which was taken advantage of by the evil. His fall would have been very risky without Master’s protection. So I apologized to Master.
One day, my husband sat up and began to sing a Shen Yun Song entitled “The Purpose of Life.” His voice was loud and clear, as if it penetrated through different layers of the cosmos. He became teary and told me that he must go home with Master. I was also moved to tears. He finally awoke back to being himself and survived his ordeal!
Seeing my husband go from losing his vital signs and gasping for air on a ventilator, from having a tracheostomy and being in the ICU, to going home with tubes in him; from his main consciousness wavering to becoming completely awake, during these many days and nights, I truly came to feel what Master says, “You put in the effort and your teacher will handle the rest.” (The First Talk, Zhuan Falun). I got to personally witness Master’s immense compassion and Dafa’s extraordinary nature. Only after having been through tribulations did I get to know Master’s immense saving grace!
The day my husband went downstairs to walk, my neighbor, relatives, and leaders in my company were all very surprised. They said, “It’s truly miraculous, incredible, it’s a miracle in medical history!” From there, they kept praising Dafa for its mighty virtue.
Eliminating Attachments and Hurrying to Save People
As my husband became more and more conscious, he began to do the exercises. He could only practice for five minutes in the beginning. He could then do them for 10 minutes. Each time he finished, he was soaked in sweat, and it was only for lifting his hands a little bit. Sometimes, when he lacked confidence, I comforted him. “With Master here, don’t be afraid.” In terms of doing the second exercise, he went from doing it for half an hour to an hour. This process was also very difficult. Encouraged by practitioners, it took him a year to finish reciting Zhuan Falun. Within a year, he could go outside to save people. Even though he only talked to very few people, this was already a great breakthrough for him.
Due to my taking care of him for a long time, I was exhausted. I had a conflict with my daughter and was so upset that I wanted to leave home and go stay with my parents. Unexpectedly, my husband, whom I was very attached to, shouted at me, “If you walk outside of this house, don’t ever come back!” My daughter also said, “Let me tell you, there are no assets belonging to you in this family. I wouldn’t give you a penny either.” My goodness! I could never have imagined that these two beloved family members would hurt me this bad. I have given them so much, but they treated me like that. Master’s words woke me up. I knew I was too attached to sentimentality for my family members. My pursuit of a good life instantly disappeared. I never felt so relaxed. Master’s saving grace made me teary.
When my righteous thoughts became strong, I wanted to go out to save people. At first, I felt a great mental pressure, as I always couldn’t get away from the thought of being persecuted. My negative thoughts popped up. The more I thought about it, the more scared I felt. Especially with my husband’s situation, I didn’t dare to think about it further. It felt extremely painful.
But whenever I saw my husband’s state getting better and better, I was very grateful and thought: Master can save us, so how come I couldn’t save sentient beings? Since they were Master’s family members, they were also my family. Did I treat them like that? I wept, asking Master to give me the power to have only the thought of saving sentient beings in my heart, to eliminate my selfishness, become an altruistic being, and bravely take on what I was supposed to.
I went from being timid and nervous in the beginning, to approaching sentient beings in a frank way. Every time I made a breakthrough, my xinxing improved. Gradually, the conversations I had with people became smoother. I approached people with whom I had predestined relationships, sincerely and kindly. Sometimes, a practitioner would ask me, “Do you know them?” I replied, “No, I don’t.” She said, “How come you were so warm to them? I thought they were your relatives.” With an altruistic heart, I sincerely treated them as my family members, greeted everyone who had predestined relationships with me, and passed on my sincerity to them. They could also feel a practitioner’s compassion and kindness. A practitioner is the hope of all beings in their area, I will never let down Master’s expectations of me.
After I was released from prison, the indifference from relatives and friends, and the misunderstandings from fellow practitioners hurt me greatly. Although my sister knew about my difficult situation at home, she didn’t even ask me about it. When I went back to stay with my parents, she tried to avoid seeing me. When my husband was still in a coma, her husband’s life was in danger, and he was taken to the hospital for emergency treatment. Without hesitation, I went to Shenyang City to visit them. When I took out 3,000 yuan to give her children, they were moved to tears, saying, “My aunt, we are sorry!” I said, “I don’t blame you; you are the victim of lies. That’s why your mom treated me like that. But keep in mind that your aunt is a Dafa practitioner; I am kind to others regardless of who they are, let alone your mom!”
I also had constant conflicts with other practitioners. One day, a practitioner came to my home three times and made accusations against me with no grounds for them, and even wronged me, saying that I was worth nothing. Thinking about how she looked down on me, I felt hurt and my heart was moved. I was full of a sense of unfairness, coupled with resentment and feeling wronged. On the surface, what happened wasn’t my fault. However, when I ran into another practitioner, she reminded me, “Master teaches us to look inward in a conflict.”
After I came home, I picked up Zhuan Falun and began to study the Fa. Then I became clear: in my heart, I did not like being wronged by others. I only liked hearing praise from them, which came down to vanity, attachment to self-image, show-off mentality, and so on. When I nailed down those attachments, I became very relaxed. When this practitioner came back to apologize to me, we both smiled.
My xinxing has been constantly improving amid conflicts. For the past three years, After I finished taking care of my husband, I’d go out every day to clarify the facts to people and help them quit the CCP. I asked for Master’s empowerment and to have those people with a predestined relationship with me to come talk to me. I could help awaken about a dozen people, as well as get a few dozen to quit the CCP. In the process, I also kept cultivating myself. Empowered by Master and encouraged by fellow practitioners, up until the end of 2021, I have helped over 20,000 people quit the CCP. During the process, I understood that the one who truly saved people was Master.
In these past three years, when I talked to people, I seldom got turned down or sworn at. More often, what I received was sentient beings waking up and showing their appreciation. For example, after I talked to one girl about quitting the CCP, she understood it and then gave me a 90-degree bow. Another time I was in line to check out in a grocery store, and there was a well-dressed lady standing in front of me. I said, “Hello there! You appear to be a calm, disciplined, and responsible person. Your field seems to be either a teacher or an accountant, right?” She said, “I’m an accountant. You have a good eye!” I replied, “The way you look at me tells me that you are so kind.” She smiled. I then talked to her about quitting the Party. She exclaimed loudly, “Oh, that’s what quitting the Party is about!” She decided to do so and thanked me repeatedly.
I once ran into a man and talked to him about quitting the CCP. He said, “I truly appreciate you practitioners. I submitted my resignation to the Party’s office after I made up my mind to quit the Party.” When I asked him whom he talked to, he said, “I received an informational brochure. I’m clear now.” I was so touched. People have hope, and there have been so many cases like that.
When the pandemic came, I worried that there would be fewer and fewer opportunities for people to get saved. When our area was under a lockdown, I talked to whomever I ran into. Every day, each household only allowed one person to go out to buy groceries. I went out from the east entrance one day, then the west entrance the next day. The whole street was like a ghost town, with only me riding my bicycle. Even though it was hard, I didn’t back down. When others didn’t dare to come close to me, I shouted the facts to them and that the truth about Dafa could save them. In one month, I helped 97 people quit the CCP.
Under Master’s protection, I broke through big tribulations on my cultivation path. Every time I recall them, I can’t hold back my tears. I deeply feel Master’s saving grace. My gratitude is beyond description. Having Master, I feel extremely happy!
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Category: Improving Oneself