Letting Go of Sickness Karma by Looking Inward

(Minghui.org) In early 2020, I had difficulty breathing and I could not lie down. I had to sit up day and night, my legs were badly swollen, and my stomach was bulging. I knew I was experiencing, “sickness karma.” 

One day two practitioners came to my home. One asked me, “Aren’t you afraid?” I said, “What’s to fear? I leave myself to Master [Master Li, the founder of Falun Dafa]; Master has the final say.” 

Two days later, another practitioner stopped by. She looked at me and said, “You look like a dying person.” I didn’t say anything. 

After she left, I thought, “Fellow practitioner, you didn’t only discourage me, but also rubbed salt on my wounds; I really can’t accept it.”

Following Master’s Requirements

But I only had one thought in my mind: “As long as I can breathe I will follow Master’s arrangements, and what others say doesn’t count.”

I was muddleheaded, talking incoherently, and my family had prepared my funeral by the end of 2020. 

One day, my sister-in-law brought her son and his newly-married wife to visit me. Although I was muddleheaded, I remembered that my nephew’s wife hadn’t withdrawn from the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) and its affiliated youth organizations yet. 

I asked her, “Do you know that withdrawing from the CCP can give you a safe future?” She said, “Your nephew has already told me that.”

I said, “If I was healthy, I would have done that for you.” She said, “You can use the name ‘White Snow’ to withdraw for me.” I know for certain that this was all arranged by Master! 

I had a dream in early 2021. Many people, including men, women and children, were taking an exam. From their mental state, I could see that they were all Dafa practitioners who had diligently practiced and were qualified. 

I was very envious of them, looking at my shabby appearance; I was not qualified. I had no other request but to ask for a kasaya and a begging bowl. 

At that time, I heard the examiner shout loudly, “Hit her three times hard!” I looked at the examiner and realized he was speaking about me. I could see clearly that the board was one centimeter thick, six to seven inches wide, and about two meters long. They hit me hard. 

I only felt that I became completely flat, and my body became a thin board. When I woke up, I subconsciously touched my abdomen with my hand, and it was still bulging and swollen. I didn’t understand what the dream meant. 

The next day when another practitioner visited, I told her my dream. She asked me, “You have been cultivating for so long and only want to become a monk. How sad you have made Master! Your enlightened side is golden and shining; what does a monk account for? Master has done so much for us, and what Master gave us is the best.” 

Only then did I remember that Master pushed all Dafa practitioners who began cultivation before July 20, 1999 to their highest positions, just waiting for us to improve our xinxing. We would return home with Master once we reached consummation. 

But I did not regard myself as a cultivator and did not follow this Fa during my tribulation. I disappointed Master, and was ashamed to look at Master. From then on, I didn’t dare to look at Master’s portrait. I was ashamed, and often shed tears of remorse. 

I was determined to start cultivation and study the Fa from the beginning. I studied Master’s articles according to their publication dates, and studied them one by one. 

The practitioner patiently communicated with me and we both discussed our understandings of the teachings. Master often gave me hints through the words of family members, which was Master’s benevolent intent.

Not long after that, I found that there were many small holes, the size of a pinhole, in both of my calves, and a yellow liquid flowed out. The smell was like the chemical fertilizer urea. 

But the small holes didn’t hurt, and the flowing liquid came out so fast that it couldn’t be wiped away. I thought: Just let it flow. The practitioner said it was a good thing, and I thought so too. 

A practitioner said it was my omission. I looked inward and found many attachments, such as the attachment to fame and gain, jealousy, rivalry, resentment, lust, showing off, and zealotry. 

I begged Master to strengthen me so I could dismantle and eliminate my attachments one after the other. 

Through this tribulation of “sickness karma,” it was once again demonstrated that Dafa is omnipotent. I really became enlightened in my cultivation, and I know the benefits of “looking inward” and how to change my human notions. 

When encountering tribulations, I know that I am a cultivator and follow Master’s Fa. I did this, and the result is truly as Master says: 

“After passing the shady willow trees, there will be bright flowers and another village ahead!” (Lecture Nine, Zhuan Falun)