(Minghui.org) I began to practice Falun Dafa in 1997. Recalling my cultivation path of many years, I feel regret. Coming this far, my path has been bumpy. If I think of the time that I ended up wasting, the time left for me to perform solid cultivation is even less. The reason is that I lacked a correct understanding of Dafa, and treated Dafa as my spiritual support. I experienced strong attachments, for I had a strong ego, and attachments to fame, self-interest, and sentimentality. If I were to describe the most important enlightenment in my cultivation, it would be changing myself!
Since I began to practice Dafa cultivation in 1997, my first trial, which was also the most difficult one, probably not expected by most people, was to quit smoking. I started smoking as a seven-year-old. I even smoked tree crops and fruit tree leaves. Altogether I had smoked for more than 30 years. Since I started working, I usually smoked one to two packs a day, and sometimes even three packs of cigarettes.
At that time, I was ready to quit smoking. Our house was fairly small, three of us slept in a large bed⸺myself, my little daughter, and my wife. I felt so sorry for them, since after midnight, I often made a “hissing” sound in my throat, which disturbed my family.
I had asked my wife to open the windows slightly, so I could breathe some fresh air. I could only fall asleep when that sound in my throat stopped. It was a pleasant summer. But in winter, with the windows open, the cold air got in. Thus, both my wife and our daughter had to endure the cold air because of me.
I also understood that I couldn’t smoke any longer, yet I couldn’t quit smoking either. Sometimes when my addiction flared up, I lit a cigarette. But, since it didn’t taste right, I had to put it out. Then I lit up another cigarette. It didn’t taste right again, so I put it aside again. At that time, I just couldn’t realize that it was Master Li (Dafa’s founder) taking care of me. Sometimes I ended up twisting the leftover cigarettes, then tossing them. However, when my addiction flared up, I went downstairs to buy another pack. In this way, I went back and forth multiple times. It took a few years before I could stop smoking.
When I first started practicing Dafa, because of an unexpected event, I was removed from the position of office manager. This upset me, as I had worked hard. During winter we had to put up banners for a celebration event. It was freezing cold, and my fingers were cracked to the point where my bones were exposed, but management still treated me like that. So I drank and chilled out all day long, and never minded about what happened at work.
At that time, an old classmate invited me to go out of town. I took him up on that. I was still so upset that I handed in a letter of resignation to my work. Back then, I didn’t enlighten to the fact that it happened to me to let go of fame and self-interest, plus I thought that it would be good not to get bogged down in entertaining people so that I could have more time for Fa-study.
The place where I lived was being renovated, so I had to rent another place. I believe it was in 2004. An old classmate, Mr. Lu, came to my city to study advertisement design and stayed at my place. Seeing that I always came home drunk, he was very worried. He tried to talk me into returning to cultivation but in vain.
At that time, we were short of practitioners with a technical background, yet exposing the persecution required a large quantity of informational materials. Mr. Lu’s family gave him a very limited living allowance, which only paid for his day-to-day expenses. Therefore, he had very little money to use for truth clarification. But, at that time, my salary was very high. After we talked about it, I spent nearly 5,000 yuan on a desktop computer. I also had a broadband network installed. He could learn how to use a computer and also do some work.
At that time, the Dafa informational DVDs were in high demand by local practitioners. One DVD burner didn’t quite meet the demand. After the DVDs were made, they needed to be checked. Thus, I bought another two DVD burners and connected them to the same computer. Back then, with three DVD burners working together the whole night, we could produce a few dozen DVDs. As soon as those DVDs were ready he delivered them to the neighboring practitioners’ homes. Gradually he became very skilled at using a computer and also helped many local practitioners resolve their technical issues.
At that time, we could break through the Internet blockade to browse the Minghui website. Seeing the picture of Master sitting quietly on the mountain, I had mixed feelings. I was afraid of looking at Master’s pictures, but also felt happy to see Master again. I felt guilty, for I didn’t behave like a practitioner. Back then, I felt very bitter. I knew I had made many detours and wasted so much time, yet Master had never given up on me. I was diagnosed with cerebral thrombosis in 2011. Master saved my life. After I returned to Dafa cultivation, I thought about how to do better so as to make up for the time lost, I needed to move forward and cultivate diligently to pay back Master’s compassionate help.
I began to learn from other practitioners how to repair machines. Next, I went to practitioners’ homes to help them. At the same time, according to the demand for materials by fellow practitioners and changes in the situation, we developed new computer models based on the experience shared at the Tiandixing Forum to make useful supplements.
Sometimes I researched technology with fellow practitioners, and we jointly developed a portable and practical ink-pumping tool. After many trials, the idea was accepted and posted at the Tiandixing Forum, and the effect was very good, especially as it benefited others. There were also some small experiences that I also shared with members of the forum. We worked together to make the technology work better for us.
In order to ensure the equipment for making informational materials ran smoothly during the pandemic, I needed to travel between two cities. I didn’t delay in doing anything⸺“... Eating bitterness treated as joy ...” (“Tempering One’s Heart and Will,” Hong Yin). From assisting other practitioners, I came to experience the joy of letting go of myself and came to feel the significance of a practitioner being truly altruistic.
It was about 100 miles in between the two cities. By the time I returned to my hometown, my e-bike had run for over 3,000 miles. One time, I passed by a friend’s shop. I went inside, and when he saw me riding an e-bike he wondered how it could run for so many miles and what was special about it. He also said, “Has your bike been empowered?” I replied, “Yes. This is a heavenly weapon. Of course, it is empowered.”
I couldn’t just do things without worrying about cultivation. While doing the technical work, the practitioners around me kept prompting me to study the Fa and do the exercises as well, and send forth more righteous thoughts whenever I could. Because of that, I recited Zhuan Falun three times, Hong Yin V, and Hong Yin VI once each. I also copied Zhuan Falun once. As long as one of Master’s new articles was published, I’d recite it. After Master’s article, “How Humankind Came To Be” was published, I managed to recite it within a few days.
Before that, I hardly cared about my family. The issue of taking care of my parents had nothing to do with me. Since I have three older siblings, I expected them to take care of our parents. I lived in my own world. Since I started cultivation, whenever I had a chance, I’d also clarify the facts to them and pass on informational materials. But they didn’t look at them, sometimes they didn’t even take Dafa materials from me.
When I analyzed the way I talked to people, I realized that I was indoctrinated by the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) and acted based on such notions, such as thinking highly of myself, forcing my opinion on others, and so on. When I didn’t want to listen, I either showed that I didn’t care or became agitated. I also didn’t let other people interrupt me when I was talking. One could imagine the consequences.
I then thought about how Master asked us to be good people. What is a good person? What my family said about me often echoed in my ears: “Your matter is the most important.” “You become agitated as soon as we start talking.” “You never care about our feelings” and so on. I have been persecuted, and my family was impacted, which even changed their initial good perception of Dafa. However, my mindset hindered our communications, preventing them from accepting the truth about Dafa. The root cause was in me. Master’s new cosmos, only requires altruistic beings. One’s ego and altruistic behavior pits one against the other. How could I ever be altruistic if I didn’t let go of myself?
After I thought it over, I made a very important decision concerning my cultivation: I’d change myself by trying to be altruistic. At that time, both my brother and sister lived in another city, so I moved in to stay with my mother. I accompanied her to go shopping, I also took care of household chores.
My mother didn’t have any income, all she received was a small allowance from my father’s mine after he passed away. Thus, she had to sell scraps to earn some income. She said that was her work. As long as I was at home, I’d go with her every time she went out to sell them.
My oldest sister and her daughter moved home from another city because they encountered great financial difficulties. At that time, I was still single and was going to another city to work. So I decided to leave my house to her family. I helped her child apply to the university, and I went with her to the city for her postgraduate exam. When my elder brother was too busy, I helped him organize his files. Using family gatherings, I talked about traditional culture, good and evil, reincarnation, and not defending oneself amidst humiliation. I thought that this would break the atheistic and evolutionary concepts in their minds.
My efforts finally paid off. Through a few years of dedicated efforts, finally, the relationship between me and my family became much closer. When they saw my transformation, they were all very happy. So that when I talked to them about Dafa, it was much easier for them to accept.
When Master’s article entitled “How Humankind Came To Be” was published, I was enlightened to a layer of inner meaning in it, which was: Master asked us to take the opportunity to save our family members.
This year, on Chinese New Year’s Eve, after we finished eating dumplings, my mother said she was too full to fall asleep. I showed her Master’s new article, “How Humankind Came To Be”. I also gave her a copy of Hong Yin III to read on another day, which she did.
My mother has benefited from Dafa. She recovered from cerebral thrombosis (stroke) six times and was fine after staying in the hospital for only a few days. It takes a long time for people to heal after breaking one’s arm, but she removed the splint by herself within a month. She also recovered from shingles in less than a week.
My brother’s father-in-law is in his 80s. He was diagnosed with last-stage lung cancer, which had spread. The doctor said he only had six months to live. He didn’t want to stay in the hospital, so he came home. Thus, my sister-in-law had to go to work during the day and take care of him after she returned home. He was in a lot of pain at night, and shouted from time to time so that my sister-in-law couldn’t sleep. After a few days like that, she almost collapsed.
My brother called me, asking if I could go over there to give them a hand. Both my brother and sister-in-law helped me when I had difficulties. I needed to return the favor, plus they are my relatives. So I agreed, and my sister-in-law walked me through a list of things. She had learned personal care and showed me how to use a ventilator, a home monitor, advised me when to help him take his medications, and so on.
After my sister-in-law and brother went to work, I sat right across from my brother’s father-in-law. He was pale and emaciated to the point where his upper and lower legs were the same width. I said to him, “My Master sent me to help you. Please remember the phrase ‘Falun Dafa is wonderful! Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is wonderful!’” I also gave him a pendant with the phrases written on it. He said it was his most precious gift. I also gave him an amulet, and asked him to recite the phrases on it with me. He did so. I told him that by reciting the phrases, he would suffer less pain.
The next day, I read Master’s new article “Stay Rational” for him, then played the video on “How Humankind Came To Be” for him. After that, I asked him what he thought. At that time, he couldn’t talk very well. But from what I gathered, he said, “Wonderful! Even though I never heard anything Master Li said before I felt great about it! Before that, I only thought about making money and never thought about the purpose of one’s life.”
In addition, he began to look inward. He said he felt sorry for not taking good care of his wife when he was young. When he got older, he became a burden to the family due to his illness.
His addressing our Master as Master caught me off guard, which meant that he had good enlightenment qualities. We chatted for a bit, then he became tired, so I asked him if he wanted to listen to Master’s recorded lectures. He said yes, so I played Master’s recorded lectures in Guangzhou City. He listened up to Lecture Four before I left. I also took the time to talk to him about the truth of Dafa and the importance of quitting the CCP. He agreed and I gave him a pseudonym to help him renounce his membership from the Young Pioneers.
Seeing that he had changed for the better, I said while holding his hand, “You’ll get better over time.” He held my hands tightly and thanked me. When I said he should thank my Master instead, he immediately let go of my hand, to join the other hand to do Heshi to express his appreciation to Master.
I could only stay at my brother’s place for four days. During that time, I barely slept. At night, I always had to be half-awake to tend to the elderly man. During the process of looking after him, I found my sentimentality, resentment, criticizing others, impatience, carelessness, not wanting to be criticized, not caring about others’ feelings, shirking responsibilities, being attached to science, and other attachments. When I was writing this sharing, I heard from my older brother that his father-in-law was staying in the hospital and feeling much better than before.
I also showed “Stay Rational” and “How Humankind Came To Be” to my brother. He read them once. After he finished reading “Stay Rational”, he asked me, “Did your Master write this three years ago already?” What he meant was that this scene mentioned in the article was playing out. I said yes. I told him that three years ago, my Master wrote this article to warn people to distance themselves from the CCP.
My brother also understood the evilness of the CCP. He said no matter what people did, it always involved a trade between money and power. No matter whether it was in the academic field, seeking promotions, or getting senior titles, people had to step on one another and hurt each other. The atmosphere was very bad. He also checked out a book under the series of Falun Dafa helping people heal illnesses and keep fit.
Soon after I came back, the lantern festival was celebrated. When my brother-in-law came to celebrate with us, I also showed him “How Humankind Came To Be”. He accepted it as well.
I could never expect such transformations to happen to my family. Benevolent Master brought the opportunity to my family to learn the truth and hear about the Buddha Law. Thank you Master!
As I changed bit by bit, it was as if I saw a golden avenue extending forward. The more I let go of my ego, the more I realized how humble and small I was; the more I looked inward, the more I realized the boundlessness and greatness of Dafa. In my opinion, the improvement of life is really not about how much I have gained or lost, but how much I have given, how much I have let go, and how much I have done for others. I said to Master: “I will definitely cooperate well with my fellow practitioners in the future, and I will definitely cultivate so I can live up to Master’s expectations.