Cultivating Myself and Getting Rid of the Attachment to Complaint and Hatred

(Minghui.org) My brother-in-law, who is also a Falun Dafa practitioner, recently displayed symptoms of stroke. As my sister’s child had gone to the south and could not come back immediately to help out, my sister got so anxious that her temper turned rather bad, and she became quite disrespectful towards her husband. Listening to her badmouthing my brother-in-law made me feel very uncomfortable. Likewise, I thought that even if my brother-in-law did not do well in cultivation, he still should not accept the arrangements of the old forces. Therefore, I sent forth righteous thoughts to get rid of the evil and also kept looking within myself to find out why I felt uncomfortable. After looking within for ten days and exchanging cultivation thoughts with fellow practitioners, I gradually realized that it was my strong attachment to myself that was making me feel so uncomfortable.

My brother-in-law obtained the Fa over 20 years ago. He sincerely believes that Dafa is good. However, over the years, apart from studying the Fa every day, he did not show a serious attitude towards the other aspects of the three things that Dafa practitioners are supposed to do. The time that he spent playing with his mobile phone is far more than the time that he spent studying the Fa. Benevolent Master tried to enlighten him many times, but he just did not get it. Finally, it led to persecution by the old forces.

When sending forth righteous thoughts for my brother-in-law, my attachment to complaint and hatred would keep appearing whenever I thought of the things that my sister said: “This is all because of practicing this Gong.” I thought in my heart that if my brother-in-law had cultivated properly, would my sister say these things? Would he still be facing this tribulation that Master Li (the founder of Falun Dafa) also has to bear? He did not listen when I pointed out all of his issues that did not align with the Fa’s requirements. 

As if chastising a child, I said to my brother-in-law, “I hoped to hear others say that you are really different after cultivating in Dafa. I hoped to see you improve your xinxing and exchange cultivation thoughts with me over and above talking about supernatural abilities.” Thinking about all these issues of mine, I realized how hard it must be to accept this kind of criticism, especially criticism that is so full of the evil Party’s characteristics. 

Opportunities to Find Attachments

Although I said that I mentioned to my brother-in-law that I am not complimenting myself for cultivating well, in reality I was looking down on him for not cultivating as well as I did. Now I understand that benevolent Master has been giving me opportunities to let me see my attachment to myself, by exaggerating all the bad stuff of mine through my brother-in-law’s behavior.

Actually, for the past two years, be it studying the Fa or clarifying the truth about Dafa to save people with a predestined relationship, Master saw that I have the bad habit of placing myself above others as though I am their teacher, so he gave me opportunities to look within myself based on fellow practitioners’ behavior. These attachments were so strong that although I sent forth righteous thoughts to get rid of them, I was not able to totally get rid of them. 

Through my brother-in-law’s illness symptoms, I was able to thoroughly see why I was not willing to listen to him talk about supernatural powers and why I felt indignant when he did the exercises, but then drank alcohol on the sly. I felt that he was damaging the reputation of the Fa. Why was I taking his behavior to heart? It was because his behavior wasn’t up to the standard I was expecting. I felt that a cultivator should behave like a cultivator, but I was being constrained by this notion. In actual fact, Master is watching over every practitioner. I just need to look within and cultivate myself when I meet with problems. This is what Master wants. 

When I am so attached to other people’s attachments, I fail to display the compassion that a cultivator should, and more importantly, I do not seriously look within myself in a timely manner. I did not cultivate myself and was thus being obstructed by this thing that also affects the improvement of other practitioners. Only by letting go of attachments and truly cultivating myself will I experience the inner peace that one can only experience after getting rid of attachments.

Dafa is miraculous and Master is benevolent. Under Master’s empowerment, my brother-in-law is already able to walk by himself and speak normally. His right hand, which he could not raise, can also be raised now. He also said that he understood this matter and has already gotten rid of the five big fish tanks that he used to keep in his house. He also said that he wants to let go of his attachment to affection. He also accepted the exercise music that I brought him and followed the music when doing the exercises. 

My sister also listened to the Fa with my brother-in-law and read Falun Dafa books in 1995. However, after the evil Chinese Communist Party (CCP) started the persecution of Dafa, she no longer dares to do the exercises. Despite this, Master has always been looking after her as well. For example, she came down twice with the shingles, and recovered without taking any medication. 

Another time she fell in the bathroom, but she did not suffer any injuries. She herself said that her head hit the floor so hard, it felt like a watermelon being smashed onto the floor. However, after getting up from the fall, apart from a little discomfort in her back (which went away after a few days), she experienced no other discomfort from the fall. 

Every time my sister meets with danger, it inspires her, reminding her that Master is still watching over her. However, she did not take it to heart. She also does not read the truth-clarifying materials and does not understand the reason why people need to quit the CCP and its youth organizations, to the point that she even spoke disrespectfully about Dafa. Every time she makes these disrespectful remarks, I feel uncomfortable in my heart. I also know that I need to look within myself. But I did not do so seriously, and such opportunities kept slipping away. 

This time, after my brother-in-law’s illness symptoms, she made disrespectful remarks again. At that time, I really felt like reprimanding her to her face, “Why are you so ungrateful? Master saved you so many times. Not only are you not grateful for it, you even say that all these misfortunes are caused by this cultivation system. What kind of understanding do you have?” 

I spoke angrily to her, “If you want to go to the hospital and you have the money, you can go (my sister’s family financial status is very bad; they basically do not have much savings and their monthly pension still needs to be shared with their son who is not working). If not, why don’t you recite ‘Falun Dafa is good’ sincerely.” After saying that, I left.

After I got home, I knew that my state was not correct. This time, I looked within myself seriously as to why I was feeling so unhappy. Is it because my sister made disrespectful remarks and I am scared that she will create karma for herself? This does not seem to be the case. Am I feeling unhappy because I am defending Dafa? This does not seem to be the case either. When people make bad remarks while I clarify the truth on the streets, I feel unhappy then, too. In that case, what exactly is the reason? 

When exchanging thoughts with another practitioner, that practitioner asked me to look within. I realized that since I was young, I grew up listening to my parents’ quarrels and verbal abuse, so I am afraid of hearing conflicts or seeing unfriendly situations. I got into the habit of favoring harmonious situations where everyone is happy with one another. Therefore, when I meet with conflicts and injustice, I will just tolerate them and maintain peace on the surface. I am afraid that people will reprimand me, so I get into the habit of only wanting to hear things that are nice. When I meet with or hear things that go against this wish of mine, I feel unhappy. When I clarify the truth to the people who are being deceived by the CCP’s lies, and they shout at me, my unhappiness does not come from my benevolence towards them, worrying that they will lose their chance to be saved. Instead, my unhappiness comes from people hurting my feelings. 

When my sister treated me with a bad attitude, I did not treat her with compassion and clarify the truth to her with patience. Instead, I was scared that she would get impatient with me and I did not like that feeling. This made me feel unhappy and I treated those feelings as my real feelings. Now I understand. I want to listen to her say that Dafa is good, I want her to acknowledge that Master has always been watching over her and that if it was not for Dafa, my brother-in-law’s condition would just worsen if he does not go to the hospital. How can he still be improving day by day now? Why can’t she just say things that I like to listen to? This matter was being triggered so that I would feel uncomfortable. I am just attached to what I want to obtain, and what I want to hear.

After finding these attachments, I strengthened my sending of righteous thoughts and did not acknowledge them. I got rid of my attachment to relationships, being self-centered and complaining about my sister, and my mood really improved a lot. This morning, I went to her house. She was chatting with her classmate, whose heart condition is not very good. She actually asked her classmate to practice Falun Dafa. When her other classmates heard that her husband recovered without going to the hospital, they all found it miraculous, and they also tell other people that Falun Dafa is good. 

When I reminded my sister to mind their safety and not talk about the practice on the phone, she actually exclaimed with confidence, “What is wrong with the practice?” I really did not expect this, and she even reminded my brother-in-law not to listen to Master’s lectures when he is in the bathroom as that is being disrespectful. This really shows that when one gets rid of attachments, anything can change. My human attachments were the things that were obstructing my sister from awakening. Although I kept saying that I want to save sentient beings, I obstructed their salvation with my heavy human attachments.

The discomfort that has been burdening my heart for the past few years suddenly relaxed as I looked within myself. I also experienced joy when I treat fellow practitioners and other people with compassion. Now, when I recall the attachments and behavior of fellow practitioners, I no longer have that resentful feeling and I also no longer display impatience in front of my brother-in-law when I feel that everything he says does not conform to the Fa. I remain steadfast in my belief that we have Master, so he will do better. When I look at my sister, I also no longer have that kind of fear that she will be impatient with me or worry that she will make disrespectful remarks again. Instead, I feel that life is not easy for her, she is also suffering tribulations. I truly believe that one day, she will definitely come back to cultivate in Dafa all over again, and complete her mission. Of course, as a Dafa practitioner, when I cultivate well, everything around me will get better. Just as Master said, 

“Bathed in divine light, conduct and thought become right.” (The Third Talk, Zhuan Falun).