I Thought I Was Helping My Mother Cultivate, but Instead She Was Helping Me

(Minghui.org) I read the Fa with my mother every day after I come home from work. Recently, my mother had a runny nose as soon as she picked up the book. She had symptoms of a cold, and it wouldn’t stop. My mother kept wiping her nose with tissues, and made nasty sounds. I was disgusted, but I didn’t say anything.

I continued to remind her to look inward so I could help her find the cause of the problem. I told her to eliminate the elements that were interfering with her Fa study. I didn’t search inward myself.

Days passed, but the situation didn’t improve. My mother said it only happened at home but not when she read the Fa with other practitioners. It only happened when I read Zhuan Falun with her.

At first, I thought this happened in my presence because I was supposed to point things out to her. So, I said she didn’t cultivate her speech, liked to gossip, and said things that were not in accord with the Fa principles. She admitted she had those attachments and wanted to get rid of them, but my mother’s situation remained the same. I felt she was merely acting better in front of me.

My mother’s problem reappeared a few days later when we read the Fa. This time, I immediately realized it was an opportunity for me to cultivate—I should have searched inward as soon as I saw her problem. Instead, I told my mother to look inward, so wasn’t I trying to “cultivate her?”

I looked inward and noticed I found my mother’s behavior to be distasteful. She didn’t cultivate her speech, so didn’t it mean I had the same issue? Why didn’t I send forth righteous thoughts to eliminate what was interfering with her? Was our home environment experiencing interference with when she was experiencing interference?

I sent righteous thoughts to remove the bad elements around us and any conduct that was not in accord with the Fa principles. My mother’s situation improved afterward.

Examining Our Cultivation Issues

Every time my mother came home from Fa study at another practitioner’s place, she told me about it. I didn’t want to listen because she liked to talk about others behind their backs.

A few days ago, my mother came home from Fa study and said with excitement, “Lin doesn’t know how to cultivate. She often doesn’t understand what other practitioners are saying. Lin got upset when I pointed things out to her, but I wasn’t moved. Everyone laughed, and Bing said she finally saw Lin’s attachment of not wanting others to criticize her.”

My mother seemed happy and thought she did the right thing, as if implying that Lin didn’t know how to cultivate.

I felt something was wrong, but I didn’t say anything. At that moment I realized that cultivation is about cultivating ourselves.

I asked my mother, “What did you learn from this incident? Lin got upset when you pointed things out to her. Why did she get upset if you were trying to help her? I think the first thing we should do is remain calm. When we make suggestions, we should look at things from the other person’s perspective, and see if the other person can handle it. We should also make sure our tone of voice and state of mind are based on the Fa, and we are being responsible to the practitioner.”

My mother understood what I said about looking inward. She agreed I was right and that she should cultivate herself in this regard.

I wondered what I was supposed to learn from this. I often pointed out other people’s problems and attachments based on my perspective, yet I did not look inward or cultivate myself. However, this incident made me look at myself―I believed I was infallible and I liked to lecture others. I knew I must remove this attachment, and not let Master Li, Falun Dafa’s founder, worry about me.

I thought I was helping my mother cultivate, and she thanked me when I pointed out her attachments. But I finally discovered my mother has been helping me cultivate!

Thank you Master for your compassion!