Noticing Attachments I Was Unaware Of

(Minghui.org) A few days ago, I visited a practitioner named Chen who was experiencing sickness-karma. After seeing that Chen’s behavior was not aligned with the Fa, I acted like I was irritated when discussing her situation with other practitioners. What I said seemed to imply that I had cultivated and studied the Fa better than Chen. 

The next day, I felt immense pain in my tongue; it was like there was a blister. I realized it was due to my not cultivating my speech. I enlightened to the fact that I did not have compassion for Chen’s situation. Fellow practitioners in the midst of a tribulation did not ask for it and must be looking forward to the day when they can overcome their symptoms. I was neither compassionate, nor understanding towards Chen. She was facing a tribulation and interference. I should have assisted her with righteous thoughts instead of whining about her.

Feeling Superior to Other Practitioners

I found another hidden attachment: I felt superior to some fellow practitioners. I knew that they were more diligent than me at clarifying the truth, but I also had a notion they were more focused on doing things for Dafa than cultivating themselves or looking within. So I formed a bias towards these practitioners.

On one occasion, two fellow practitioners and I went out to tell people about the persecution. One of them was an elderly practitioner, who I thought did not cultivate well. We were at the market that day. People were very cold to us when we tried to give them truth-clarification materials. I felt bitter and thought negatively of the people in this area. The elderly people had all heard the truth, but the younger people didn’t want to listen at all. After a couple minutes of walking around the market, I only managed to get two people to quit the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) and its affiliated organizations. 

On our way back, we talked about our experiences. The elderly practitioner said, “I stopped at a stall and saw a guy there. I decided to clarify the truth to him. I then saw another person come by and wanted to save him as well. So I stood at that one place the entire time and didn’t have to move at all.” That practitioner helped 13 people quit the Party that day. I realized that this elderly practitioner had a much higher xinxing than I did.

Even though we can’t base our level of cultivation on the number of people we help to quit the CCP, the difference was still clear. The elderly practitioner was very pure when saving people, so her righteous thoughts were able to eliminate the evil in other dimensions, and people were willing to listen to her. We clarified the truth in the same area, but the results were very different. I suddenly realized my attachment of arrogance and superiority. On the surface, the elderly practitioner did not seem to cultivate her character, but in reality, her cultivated parts have been separated and were invisible to me. 

No Compassion and No Tolerance

A fellow practitioner once pointed out my flaws, but I did not accept it. I then turned around and criticized that practitioner instead. In fact, that practitioner does the three things well and has cultivated herself well, but I was very critical of her. It may be because we knew each other really well, so I felt I could say anything I wanted to her.

After I got home, I regretted my behavior and felt remorseful. Looking back at that day, numerous human notions and attachments exposed themselves. First of all, there were my attachments to self and competitiveness. If someone criticized me, then I would automatically criticize them back. I knew it was hurtful, but I still did it anyway. In that instant, my demon nature appeared. It meant that I was not solid in my cultivation because my compassion and tolerance were gone. When I retaliated and criticized the practitioner, the practitioner was very calm and unmoved. Clearly, the practitioner had better xinxing than me. 

A separate incident also displayed my own shortcomings. A fellow practitioner’s daughter called to borrow ten-thousand yuan from her. At first, the practitioner agreed, but then refused to lend her the money. Her daughter got really upset and said some terrible things to her. She was not moved or angry at her daughter. After some consideration, she decided to lend the money to her. When I learned about this incident, I realized that if my own children acted like this, I would not have been able to react as calmly and compassionately as she did. 

I discovered that my reactions to spontaneous situations can truly reflect my character. I felt regretful after the incident. As a true cultivator, I must measure my actions by the standards of the Fa.