(Minghui.org) I began practicing Falun Dafa in 1996, but I left the Dafa group for a long time. I’ve had a difficult relationship with my son and it got worse last winter. The heartache awakened me, and I decided to resume practicing Dafa again. My biggest regret is that I failed to follow the teachings of Master Li, the founder of Falun Dafa.
My decline began after I left the Fa study group. After leaving, I was quite diligent at first, and spent more time reading the Fa than when I was with the group. I thought my foundation and faith in Dafa was solid, and I could persevere. Yet, I didn’t realize I was going downhill. It was not noticeable until I reached a desperate situation.
The old forces watch every practitioner, especially those walking the path they arranged. They use all kinds of tricks to drag us down and refuse to let go. If it were not for Master’s compassion, we would have missed this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
I’m still frightened just thinking about it. I didn’t listen to Master and left the path he arranged for me. I was arrogant and ignorant. Fortunately, under Master’s arrangement, I resumed practicing and caught up with the Fa-rectification process. Practitioners now gather at my house to study the Fa and talk about their cultivation experiences.
I’d like to say this to practitioners who recently returned to Dafa: “Because we’ve missed many opportunities to improve, we may suffer more hardships when trying to be diligent. The ordeals may not be tangible, but more like a war between the divine and the evil, between the good and the wicked at every level. If you’re not careful, the tribulations could weaken your will, make you fall, and destroy you. We need to work harder to catch up with the Fa-rectification process.”
My understanding is that we should listen to Master with sincerity, do the three things well, and make sure every thought and action is righteous. This is how one can truly return to Dafa. I hope practitioners who are lagging behind can catch up and not miss the opportunity.
I’d like to share my recent experience in eliminating attachments during conflicts with my son.
My son was an obedient child, but became rebellious after he started high school. I tried everything I could, but nothing helped. I began to search inward this summer, and eventually walked out of the situation arranged by the old forces.
My son and I went to the supermarket to buy pork chops. He noticed a piece of meat attached to a bone, and wanted to use the tongs to remove the bone and take the meat. I quickly stopped him, and said, “We shouldn’t do that. The bone and meat are sold together at a price. If you take the meat, no one will buy the bone. You shouldn’t focus on petty gains, as you could lose virtue.”
He lowered his head in embarrassment. Although I stopped him, I felt uneasy, as I too, had the attachment to petty gain. Didn’t I pick through the pork chops? My son’s conduct was a reflection of my selfishness. I corrected myself and stopped being picky when I went shopping.
My son became restless when school was about to start, and he couldn’t stand or sit still. I told him to calm down, but he couldn’t. I looked inward and realized that I was the one who was restless. I kept thinking with excitement, “My son will go back to school soon, and I will have more time to do Dafa work.”
My unsteady heart contained characteristics of the indoctrination by the Chinese Communist Party (CCP), that is, a flashy exterior, but hollow inside. I was using the excuse of doing Dafa work to hide my selfish heart. I eliminated the bad elements that affected my heart, and I decided to be steadfast every step of the way.
Because I didn’t keep up with the Fa-rectification for a long time, I treated my son’s learning issues like other parents. When he became rebellious, I used complicated methods in an attempt to change him. He didn’t change, but became worse. At first I did not realize that it had to do with my attachments. I didn’t search inward and didn’t look at the problem based on the Fa principles. I kept telling my son to study hard, and get into a good college to secure a promising future. I did not realize that I was walking a path arranged by the old forces. When I resumed practicing Falun Dafa, I understood that my son was behaving that way to help me improve.
Because of my love for my son, I pressured him to study hard. My heart was full of competitiveness, jealousy, and forceful thoughts, which are all elements of the CCP’s indoctrination. I failed to educate my son based on the Fa and righteous principles, and I forgot that everyone came here for Dafa. Didn’t my son form a predestined relationship with me so he could gain the Fa? I didn’t lead him on the right path. Instead I pushed him towards empirical science and atheism.
This was my understanding after studying the Fa: If a Fa-rectification period Dafa practitioner does not follow the path arranged by Master, then she or he will be on the path arranged by the old forces. I rectified myself in time and negated the old forces’ arrangement. Because of my faith in Master and Dafa, I let Master look after my son, as he is also Master’s relative. I will eliminate my attachments so that the old forces won’t take advantage of my loopholes.
I continued to study the Fa and send forth righteous thoughts. The locks in my heart began to loosen, and I felt relieved before school started.
My son began to change as I continued to improve. He’d read Zhuan Falun, the main book of Falun Dafa, twice before and listened to cultivation stories in the mornings with me. I was packing his school backpack one day and saw a letter he wrote to his classmates. It was more than two pages, and revealed his faith in Dafa and sincerity towards his classmates. I was surprised because he never told me about it, and I didn’t expect him to have such a deep understanding of Dafa.
He’d written, “The Buddha is merciful and will forgive people’s mistakes. As long as you earnestly behave yourself based on the principles of Truthfulness, Compassion and Forbearance... Have you heard of ‘The Hidden Character Stone’ in Guizhou Province? It is a sign that heaven will eliminate the CCP; thus one should sever their ties to the Party.”
I was relieved that my son had a deep understanding of Dafa and that there was no selfish thought in his letter.
My son was on his way home from playing ball one day, and found a copy of Master’s lecture “How Humankind Came To Be.” It was covered in dirt and had an oily stain. I wiped it several times, but couldn’t get rid of the stain. I felt bad and left it in the drawer. I opened the drawer few days later and the paper was clean without a stain.
Thank you, Master for restoring everything to its purest state. Dafa can rectify everything, as long as we give our all to Master and Dafa.