Letting Go of Jealousy

(Minghui.org) I know I have an attachment to jealousy, but because I didn’t know how to cultivate myself in the past, I didn’t pay much attention to it. An incident last year made me realize I should take it seriously and remove it. I’d like to tell you what happened. Please kindly point out if there is anything improper in my sharing.

When my father-in-law was still alive, in order to take care of him we lived with him in a one-story house allocated to him by the army. After he passed away, the army repeatedly asked us to move out. My husband gambles so he doesn’t make much money. I earn money by cutting hair and I also grow fruit and vegetables. We hadn’t saved much over the years and didn’t think about buying a house. Now that the army wanted us to move out, I felt very distressed, and tried to think of how we could purchase a house.

My sister-in-law (my husband’s older sister) owned two houses, the smaller one was transferred to my husband’s older brother and the larger one was sold for 600,000 yuan. When I visited my sister-in-law last year, I heard that she gave the 600,000 yuan to my husband’s brother and did not give my husband anything.

I thought she knew the army was trying to remove us from the house, and we had nowhere to go. However, instead of helping us out, she gave all the money to her other brother.

I developed negative feelings about her, thinking that I helped her over the years, and now she refused to help us in our time of need. I felt jealous, angry, and resented what she did.

I kept quiet for a few days, then I told my husband about it. He couldn’t believe what I told him and said, “You’re a Falun Dafa practitioner! If she gives you any money, that’s fine. If she doesn’t, then don’t fight for it.”

My husband’s words hit me like a warning stick and I realized he was right. My heart was moved by so many human attachments, and the way I was reacting was completely not based on the Fa. I even want to argue and fight over personal gain or loss. How much virtue (de)would I lose if I keep thinking like this?

In fact, if the army didn’t ask us to move out of the house, I wouldn’t even think about buying a house, or expect my sister-in-law to help us out, or want to argue with my brother-in-law. I realized that Master was exposing my human attachments through this incident, so that I could identify them and let them go.

I had a dream in which someone took down the door of our house. When I asked who did it, a man appeared and said, “It’s Fuxiang (it’s homophonic to enjoy happiness).” When I woke up, I understood that Master was dropping me a hint. A cultivator needs to improve through hardship; there is no way (no door) one can succeed in cultivation if one keeps seeking comfort in life.

Once I became clear-headed about the Fa principle, I calmed down and stopped worrying about buying a house. Not long afterward, the army told us that we could rent the house we were living in. The rent was reasonable and within our budget.

I felt so grateful to Master for his kind arrangement. I now know how to cultivate myself. I will always look within and pay attention to every single thought, be a genuine Dafa disciple and be worthy of Master’s compassionate salvation.