(Minghui.org) My husband and I were introduced to each other by others. At that time, people were being recruited from our village to go work in the city. Many people left the countryside this way and found a better life in the city. I was recruited through my family’s connections and worked in a factory.
My husband’s family was also given a recruitment quota as compensation to those who had been persecuted during the Cultural Revolution, since my husband’s father was persecuted to death during that period. My mother-in-law was afraid our marriage would fail if her son could not work in the city with me, so she promised to give the quota to my husband.
It was almost the end of the year, and we were single youths above the average marital age. Both parents urged us to get married right away. I didn’t want to until he got recruited like me. But his mother and my parents pushed us to get married, so we married before the New Year. My eldest sister-in-law returned from another place to attend our wedding. She advised her mother, “Mother, you will rely on your daughters to take care of you later. Your daughter will give you money. Do you think your son will give you money later?” So, my mother-in-law gave the recruitment quota, initially promised to my husband, to her daughters.
This made me so angry that I got nephritis and couldn’t work well. I had no strength and couldn’t complete the tasks assigned by the factory. I was sick and took medicine all the time. My husband suggested that I go outside to relax, saying it would be good for me. While taking a walk, I saw Falun Dafa practitioners doing their exercises. A practitioner tried to introduce Dafa to me, but I didn’t believe it. I was walking outside again on another day, and saw many people going to an old house in the village. Curious about their actions, I poked a hole in the window paper to peek inside. I saw three large characters “Truthfulness, Compassion, Forbearance” written on the wall. I thought, “I have to practice this ‘Forbearance.’ If I practice Forbearance, I can live longer. If I don’t practice Forbearance, I will die early.” So I went there every day to relax, just like visiting friends. I didn’t understand what cultivation was, and I just listened, while others were reading the Fa. After listening to them read for more than a month, I sensed that something was changing in me physically, as I kept expelling air. I also liked to listen to the exercise music. It was so beautiful! I noticed that an elderly practitioner was wearing a Falun emblem on his shirt. The emblem was spinning, layer by layer, which was so beautiful! Later, I got the Dafa books and began to practice Falun Dafa.
I started to feel light and could do any work required. I was happy every day. Why was I happy? I couldn’t explain it, but I was just delighted! I had no resentment from then on. I knew that fate determined everything, and that I came to this family to pay my karmic debts. So I no longer felt wronged.
Part of our village was demolished in the spring of 1999. My eldest brother-in-law and I went to clean out the house of my mother-in-law’s sister. She passed away, and her children didn’t live nearby. No one was living in the home. We packed things up, sold everything we could, and gave the money to my mother-in-law.
Then, my mother-in-law started scolding me whenever she saw me. I was already cultivating Dafa and knew this occurred because I had a predestined relationship with her. I didn’t say anything back and knew that this happened because I was paying off my karmic debts. I thought she would stop after she got tired, but she cursed at me for more than an hour. The neighbor who was watching said, “Come on, Auntie, you have been shouting at her for more than an hour. She is also over 50.” My mother-in-law went into the home and continued to curse at me. After a while, she started to curse at my eldest brother-in-law’s wife. But she couldn’t take it and started to curse back. My mother-in-law got angry and developed heart disease as a result.
My mother-in-law wanted to go to Beijing for treatment. Her eldest son and second daughter were retired. She didn’t ask them to accompany her to see the doctor, and wanted me to take her instead. I couldn’t control my anger, and said, “You should rely on your daughter. You gave all the good things to her. Yet you come to me when you are sick. I won’t go.” But she wouldn’t stop bugging me. Later, I thought, “I obtained the Fa, and Master Li taught me to be a good person. I have to do it even if I don’t want to!” So, I went. It not only cost me money, time, and effort to accompany her for treatment, but I also had to take her abuse. On the way there, she did not stop cursing me. I kept thinking about Master’s Fa:
“As a practitioner, the first thing you should be able to do is to not fight back when you are beaten or sworn at—you must be tolerant.” (Lecture Nine, Zhuan Falun)
“Forbearance is the key to improving one’s xinxing. To endure with anger, grievance, or tears is the forbearance of an everyday person who is attached to his concerns. To endure completely without anger or grievance is the forbearance of a cultivator.” (“What is Forbearance (Ren)?,” Essentials for Further Advancement)
After reciting this part of Master’s Fa many times, I was no longer angry or resentful.
My husband had three brothers. Together, they bought my mother-in-law a retirement home and contributed a sum for her pension. However, my husband’s youngest brother took the house and the money. Thus, my mother-in-law continued to live in her old one-story apartment. At that time, we bought and lived in an apartment building. It snowed heavily in the winter of 2003, and my husband said his mother was cold, so he wanted to take her in. Since practicing Falun Dafa, I thought I had to be a good person according to the principles of Truthfulness, Compassion and Forbearance, and I couldn’t tarnish Dafa. So I agreed. This was easy to say, but I knew I would have to care for her if she came to live with us. If I hadn’t cultivated Dafa, I would not have let her move in.
When my mother-in-law was ill, her daughters stayed away from her. They no longer said their mother could count on her daughters when she is old, and did not give her any money. The wives of my brother-in-laws also didn’t care about her. I thought, “I am a practitioner, and can’t ignore her. I need to show people that Dafa is righteous and good. Because I am a practitioner, I must use kindness to resolve our grievances.”
After my husband passed away, I still took dumplings and food to my mother-in-law. My eldest sister-in-law admitted that I took better care of my mother-in-law than her daughters did.
My mother-in-law had four daughters. They often made trouble when they came to visit. After my mother-in-law passed away, the funeral manager asked, “Who will accommodate her daughters when they come?” My eldest and second brother-in-laws said they would not receive them. The manager asked me if I would look after them. I said, “They can come to my home for dinner.”
During the Qingming Festival, the brothers took turns hosting the sisters, but they didn’t provide any meals. When it was my turn, I said, “I will provide meals today. Let’s go to the restaurant.”
After my mother-in-law passed away, no one cared about my eldest sister-in-law when she visited. I am a practitioner, and I treat others kindly. Before she left, I asked her to come to my house for dinner. She cried and said to my daughter, “Your mother is the one I owe the most.”
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Category: Improving Oneself