Changing My Perspective Instantly Turns Cloudy Skies to Clear

(Minghui.org) I’m over 80 years old, and have been practicing Falun Dafa for more than 20 years. Given continuous Fa study, I’ve gained a basic understanding of the Fa principles, realizing that cultivation is about cultivating one’s xinxing and looking inward when facing problems. Although I understood a particular issue on a superficial level and could recognize when I was at fault, I would still often argue with my husband in our daily life. 

Then, after studying the Fa, I suddenly realized that my constant arguments with my husband must be my fault, because Master teaches us that “...one should not fight back when being punched or insulted...” (Lecture Four in Zhuan Falun) 

However, I couldn’t pinpoint where I was wrong. With continuous Fa study and looking inward, I gradually realized that I hadn’t cultivated Compassion and Forbearance. I needed to realize that in everything I do, I need to measure my actions with the principles of Truthfulness, Compassion, and Forbearance. If I can’t embody these principles, I’m not truly a Dafa practitioner. I told myself: “First, I need to practice Forbearance. No matter what my husband says, I must remain calm and not talk back.” 

After a while, the conflicts between my husband and me lessened, and we argued less. During this process, I let go of my attachments of competitiveness, jealousy, and feelings of disdain toward my husband. With continuous Fa study and the help of other practitioners, I came to realize that my husband was someone Master used to create a cultivation environment for me. I should cherish this environment and cultivate within my family setting. 

Since my husband is also in his 80s, his health has been declining, and sometimes he can only lie in bed. At those times, I remind myself to treat him based on a practitioner’s standard, caring for him patiently and attentively, so as to ensure his satisfaction and happiness. Sometimes he says, “I’m sorry to trouble you.” I then reply, “I’m a Dafa practitioner; Master teaches us to be good people, and this is what I should do.” Besides taking care of my husband, I use most of my time to do the three things. 

When needed, I used paper money with truth-clarification messages printed on it as often as possible. 

After I had a few calm days, new conflicts happened. For example, my husband often spit into the trash can that wasn’t lined with a garbage bag, and sometimes when he smoked, he tossed cigarette butts in there as well. The trash wasn’t taken out for days, so there was always an unpleasant smell in his room. I used to think: I have done all the grocery shopping, laundry, cooking, and cleaning—essentially all the household chores. I also covered all the expenses and social obligations, managing everything as a woman. 

You, the man of the house, spent your retirement salary on yourself every day and rarely lifted a finger to help with household chores. It feels like I’ve become a long-term worker who doesn’t get paid, helping you raise children, building a house, paying for our son’s wedding, and handling our daughter’s wedding. All these big and small matters were managed by just me, and it really made me frustrated. Because I practice Dafa, I don’t dwell on these issues much or complain about you, but now it seems unreasonable for you to expect me to handle this trash—especially your cigarette butts and your spit! Surely, it’s not too much to ask for you to take the trash downstairs yourself!

However, every time he emptied his trash can, it was when I was busy in the kitchen, and the smell of his trash when he put it in the trash bag near where I was working was just unbearable. I confronted him, saying: “Why do you always wait until I’m working in the kitchen to empty your trash here?” I was really angry! But he still continued to do so as usual, not taking me seriously. I brought this up with other practitioners, feeling quite upset about it. 

Of course, from an ordinary person’s perspective, since I’m the one paying the bills and doing so much housework, it makes perfect sense that he should handle his own trash. However, as a cultivator of Falun Dafa, I know that all beings in the universe are watching how I handle conflicts. When I expressed my frustration to my fellow practitioners, one of them smiled and said, “Isn’t this issue just about your own attachments to fear of what’s dirty, to avoiding trouble, and to not wanting to suffer more? You should expand your capacity for being able to forbear. Why not help him sort out the trash and take it out together? Then it won’t be a problem!” This was like a wake-up call. I suddenly realized that I had been too caught up in my own perspective. As a cultivator, any unhappy or inconvenient situations I encounter are just opportunities to let go of my attachments and human notions. Aren’t all issues helping me improve my xinxing? In the eyes of the divine, the more I endure and eliminate karma, the better it is for me. I should be grateful and even joyful about it—why was I still complaining? 

Once I changed my mindset, the gloom lifted, and clarity filled my heart. I thought: “Alright, from now on, I’ll take on this responsibility and actively help him with the trash.”

From then on, I went to his room every day to take out his trash along with the other garbage. Now, there is no longer an unpleasant smell in his room. Of course, my husband is very satisfied and happy with my thoughtfulness. The practitioners are also happy for me, saying I am a true cultivator who realizes something and immediately puts it into action.

As I write this article, I realize that as a Dafa cultivator, I need to consider others first in everything I do, and do a little more and endure a bit more hardship, “Eating bitterness treated as joy.” (“Tempering One’s Heart and Will” in Hong Yin) Then I am continually climbing the ladder to higher realms.

Thank you, Master!