Reflecting on What Caused My Life-and-Death Tribulation

(Minghui.org) I had severe stomach pain, sometimes to the point where I couldn’t eat for days and I could only drink a little water. The pain would briefly stop but soon returned. I couldn’t endure it and went to the hospital. I suspected I had a perforated stomach, and the examination confirmed that there was indeed a perforation that was 1.5cm in diameter. After surgery, I was in the ICU for four days. The doctor said I delayed treatment too long, and the stomach acid leaked into my abdominal cavity, corroding many organs, with the liver being the most severely affected. Initially, I had periods of clarity, but I later fell into a coma, and my vital signs reached critical levels. The doctor said they did everything possible, implying there was no hope.

My parents, who are both practitioners, discussed the situation and decided to take me home. I had difficulty breathing so the doctor said I had to use a ventilator. He said I would die within ten minutes without it. I was transported home by an ambulance, still connected to drainage tubes, a urinary catheter, and a gastric tube. Many people came to see me that day, because they thought I wouldn’t live much longer. Sometimes I moved involuntarily, and other times I struggled to catch my breath. My uncle suggested that they dress me in burial clothes, but my father refused.

That night, due to the discomfort of wearing the ventilator mask and being connected to the gastric tube, I struggled, and bit through the plastic tube in my mouth. When they saw this, my family decided to remove all the tubes including the ventilator. To their surprise, not only did I not die, but I gradually calmed down—my breathing normalized, and my condition improved each day. Those who saw me when my condition was critical, marveled that I escaped death.

The other practitioners suggested I write about my experience, as it would also help me look inward. I’d like to tell you about my experiences and reflect on what happened. If anything is not in accordance with the Fa, please kindly point it out.

Overcoming a Life and Death Tribulation

I knew I hadn’t cultivated well, and sometimes I worried that Master would no longer look after me. When I realized I was about to die, I thought, “Master, please save me. Please give me another chance. I don’t want to disgrace Dafa. I will cultivate diligently and fulfill my mission.” To be honest, because I was in such extreme physical and mental pain that death seemed like a release. However, thinking about the severe consequences of dying, I pleaded with Master. I’m grateful that he did not give up on me even though I didn’t practice diligently.

As soon as I was brought home, my father began playing recordings of Master’s lectures for me. In fact, even in the ICU, with the doctor’s permission, my parents played Master’s lectures. Some relatives didn’t understand, but my father persisted, telling them, “The hospital has already given up; this is our only hope.” During those days in the ICU and at home, I was mostly unconscious. Later, when people saw that I didn’t die after the ventilator was removed, but gradually regained consciousness, they said, “It’s a miracle!” Some said, “I didn’t believe it at first, but now I see that Dafa truly is effective.” Many stubborn people witnessed the power of Dafa and their attitudes changed. Thank you, Master, for turning a bad situation into something good.

Entrusting Everything to Master

Looking back, I realize that during my unconscious state, my main consciousness was trapped in another dimension, or perhaps I was unable to return to reality from a dream state, despite my efforts to break through that dimension. I experienced countless things during that time, too numerous to detail here. I told Master from the depths of my heart, “Master, I truly have no strength left. I entrust everything to you. Whatever you arrange, I accept it. I will only walk on the path arranged by you, whether I stay or not.” With that thought, all constraints vanished, and I finally woke up and returned to reality.

Fellow Practitioners’ Support Is Vital

I am also deeply thankful for the selfless help of fellow practitioners. After I was hospitalized, many practitioners who heard about my situation sent righteous thoughts for me. My parents stayed by my side, often reciting Master’s Fa:

“...When disciples have ample righteous thoughtsMaster has the power to turn the tide”(“The Master-Disciple Bond,” Hong Yin II).

They kept reminding me, “You must fulfill your mission and return with Master.” Even when I was trapped in the other dimension, I could hear Master’s lectures and my parents’ calls, which penetrated through layers of dimensions and helped me find myself. I encourage fellow practitioners to never give up on someone enduring illness karma, even if they seem unconscious. Whether they return depends on that practitioner’s choices.

Reflections After the Tribulation

After I regained consciousness, I reflected on why my earlier pleas to Master seemed ineffective. I realized that even though my thought: “I don’t want to disgrace Dafa”—may have appeared to be for the sake of sentient beings and not for myself, in fact this was not the case. At a deeper level, my intention was actually centered on myself. I feared that if I died, it would disgrace Dafa and destroy those predestined people I was supposed to save, and it would also mean that I failed to fulfill my sacred vows. This severe consequence was something I found unbearable. In essence, my thoughts were still selfish. When I was trapped in another dimension and unable to return, I genuinely relinquished all my selfishness. I fully entrusted myself to Master, and unconditionally accepted Master’s arrangement. I believe this was the most righteous thought I had during that period.

The Harm of Watching Movies and TV

During my time in the coma, I experienced numerous scenarios that felt just like the plots of movies and novels I previously watched and read. It was as if I played the role of a character and completely forgot who I was. I was deeply immersed in the illusion and thus remained trapped for a long time. I recalled a plot about a person with supernatural abilities who could trap others in dreams, keeping them perpetually asleep. This recollection prompted me to examine my surroundings and realize that I might also be trapped in a similar state. Then I remembered reality. Sensing my awareness, the evil forces started shifting the scenes and also intensified their interference with my main consciousness. They even incorporated events and people from reality into the illusions to confuse me further, making it hard to discern what was real and what was not. Fortunately, I was always able to hear Master’s teachings and the music Pudu at critical moments, which helped me remember my true identity and that Master was guiding me.

Subconsciously Accepting the Old Forces’ Arrangements

When I first began to clarify the truth, I often heard others talk about how they were cured of terminal illnesses after they began practicing or how they underwent profound personal transformations. I sometimes found myself thinking, “If I also had such an experience, it would be much easier to clarify the truth.” Looking back now, I realize that such thoughts were essentially asking to be persecuted.

Although I helped run a materials production site since 2001 and later established a small site in my home, I rarely clarified the truth face-to-face. During the COVID pandemic, I almost entirely stopped clarifying the truth and lived much like an ordinary person. My attachments, such as the pursuit of comfort, lust, jealousy, self-interest, and so on, expanded. I felt deeply ashamed before Master, and when my tribulation began I thought, “Perhaps this pain is a punishment for failing to fulfill my vows.” In a way, I subconsciously accepted the old forces’ persecution.

To be honest, I never thought of myself as someone who would disrupt the Fa, so when I saw articles on this topic in the past, I often skimmed over them. However, after this tribulation, I inadvertently came across a compilation of articles about disrupting the Fa from several years ago and recognized my mistakes. To make it easier to study the Fa, I divided Zhuan Falun into individual chapters as text files and uploaded them to a dedicated device without a sim card.

Attachment to Playing on My Phone

The issue of being attached to mobile phones was discussed in many articles written by fellow practitioners. My father frequently pointed out that I spent too much time on my phone, but I refused to admit I had this problem. I believed that playing on the phone was simply a manifestation of other attachments, and once those attachments were removed, this behavior would naturally stop. However, while reflecting on this issue during the process of writing this article, I gained a new understanding. Modern smartphones are designed to cater to all kinds of interests, regardless of what attachments one may have. Big data and artificial intelligence are extremely advanced; they analyze one’s browsing habits and preferences to recommend content that aligns with one’s desires, making it nearly impossible to put the phone down. This in turn strengthens the existing attachments and creates a vicious cycle, where those reinforced attachments draw one back to the phone, causing one to waste vast amounts of time. Therefore, the attachment to playing on phones is indeed a major attachment that must be eliminated in cultivation.

Final Remarks

When I regained consciousness, I told a fellow practitioner, “I’ve used up all my chances. There are no more left.” Master said,

“In the past, after climbing into a cave with the help of a rope, a cultivator would cut off the rope to practice cultivation in the cave. If this person could not succeed in cultivation, he would die inside it.” (Lecture Eight, Zhuan Falun)

As a Dafa disciple in the Fa-rectification period, I should have such determination.

This time, Master gave me a new life. Without Master’s salvation, I would have nothing. I will do my best to fulfill my mission and fulfill my vows.

Thank you, Master!