Persevering Through Hardships to Fulfill My Vow

(Minghui.org) I began to practice Falun Dafa in 1998. During the 20-plus years of my cultivation, I’ve been held in detention centers, labor camps, and prisons for a total of 14 years. I’ve endured many tribulations and have only been able to get to where I am today with Master’s protection. I would like to share my cultivation experiences since I was last released from prison.

Studying the Fa with a Calm Mind

Because I was persecuted many times and my husband passed away while I was in prison, my relatives who originally supported my Dafa cultivation had become doubtful and unsure about it. After I returned home from my last imprisonment, my son and daughter-in-law watched me closely and did not let me go out to clarify the truth. They did not even let me talk about it at home. They would deliberately interrupt me when I tried to tell others about the Chinese Communist Party's (CCP) persecution of the practice.

My daughter-in-law’s parents used to be understanding, and they withdrew from the CCP. But they were different this time when I returned home. They said they didn’t believe in Dafa. It reminded me of what Master said,

“Dafa disciples are suffering,But who is ruined are sentient beings.”(“Every Lifetime Was for This Life” in Hong Yin III)

While I was imprisoned, my younger sister gambled away all my savings. My family told me to get the money back and cut ties with her. Faced with the sudden tribulation, I felt bitter and didn’t know what to do. Tears filled my eyes while I held the precious book Zhuan Falun in my hands and looked at Master’s picture. I desperately said to myself over and over, “Master, what should I do?!” Seeing Master smiling at me, I hid under a blanket in bed and sobbed.

I knew that, as a Dafa disciple, I should get up quickly and persevere. I wiped away my tears, held Zhuan Falun in my hands, and memorized the Fa until midnight. After sending righteous thoughts, I thought of Master’s words: “For a cultivator, looking within is a magical tool.” (“Fa Teaching Given at the 2009 Washington, D.C. International Fa Conference” in Collected Teachings Given Around the World Volume IX)

I looked inside to see why I’d been persecuted so many times. Master enlightened me through the words of a practitioner who said to me, “Your biggest attachment is the pursuit of fame. You also have a show-off mentality, zealotry, and jealousy. It’s time to wake up!”

Indeed! Looking back at when I clarified the truth and distributed Dafa materials, I often did these things with the intention of validating myself. I felt complacent every time I finished distributing the materials, and I enjoyed hearing other practitioners praise me. I had a strong desire to show off, but I didn’t realize it, and I would be unhappy when other practitioners kindly reminded me of my problems. When others told me that someone was good at distributing materials and clarifying the truth, even though I would echo it on the outside, I would often feel uneasy inside, with a strong, hidden jealousy. As a result, the old forces used my shortcomings as an excuse to persecute me, and because my attachments were strong, I failed to deny the persecution, look inside, and correct myself.

How dangerous was that? I had been cultivating for more than 20 years, but still had so many attachments. I kept asking myself, “Are these things a true Dafa disciple would do?” I knew that I had to change no matter how painful it would be. I memorized the Fa and hand-copied the Fa with a tranquil mind. I tried to eliminate my attachments as soon as they appeared, determined to completely deny the old forces. Since Master does not recognize the old forces, neither should we—I only follow Master’s arrangements.

I usually sleep three hours a day and would not miss the morning exercises starting at 3 a.m. I would normally memorize two lectures of Zhuan Falun daily and also studied Master’s other lectures. As I studied the Fa more and more, I was able to remember the Fa principles. I became more kind to my relatives and have tried my best to put them first. For example, I remember their birthdays and send them birthday gifts and blessings. This was something I ignored in the past.

I talked to my son and daughter-in-law on a basic level based on the principles of Dafa. “Your father’s death was caused by the CCP’s persecution,” I said. “You are well aware that we are good people, and you have witnessed our changes with your own eyes. If I hadn’t been imprisoned, I would have been able to take care of your father and perhaps he would not have passed away so soon.”

I talked about how I’d been tortured in prison and said, “If it weren’t for Master’s protection, I would have died of the torture. You really should be thankful to Master.” I told them that practicing Falun Dafa is legal in China and I showed them the relevant documents. “It is the CCP that is breaking the law and persecuting good people,” I said “You saw during the pandemic how the CCP deceived people, concealed the number of deaths, and didn’t care about people’s lives at all.” When I went to ask the local authorities for my social security payment, my son and his wife understood that cultivating Dafa is not illegal. Slowly they changed and have continued to support my cultivation.

The police once called my son and asked how I was. My son replied, “She is fine as long as you don’t bother her. She is a legal citizen. Please don’t bother her again.” When they asked for my phone number, my son said, “My mother doesn’t answer unknown calls, because there are so many scams these days.” My son, daughter-in-law, and her parents now often remind me to pay attention to my safety and to use wisdom when clarifying the truth.

In addition, I understood that nothing is accidental in cultivation. While I was incarcerated, I gave my bank card to my sister to pay the lawyer’s fees. There were a few thousand yuan on the card, which was all I had. After she lost all my money, I thought that perhaps I owed her from a previous life. However, I could not let her commit a crime against Dafa, because those were Dafa resources.

Once I had the correct perspective, I knew what to do. I cared about her as usual and did not blame her or complain to her. I knew that doing so would only push her away, which would be the goal of the old forces. I once comforted her, “Don’t worry. You made a mistake when your mind wasn’t clear. You can pay me back in small installments when you have money.” I often told her, “If you have any difficulty making a payment, tell me, but make sure never to gamble again, because it will harm you for the rest of your life.”

I tried my best to help her with things both big and small. One day she said in tears, “I’m so sorry, I’m so heartless! You are such a great sister, yet I did not cherish it. I want to thank Dafa’s Master for making such a good disciple!” From then on, she paid me every month. When her classmates or friends got together, she often invited me to join them. She told them beforehand how much I benefited from and how greatly I changed after I started practicing Dafa. Most of her friends have understood the truth and have withdrawn from the CCP and its youth organizations. In fact, Master has done it all, and I understood from his teachings that everyone was once his relative.

Clarifying the Truth to the Staff of the Social Security Bureau

When I returned home from prison, I was notified by the Social Security Bureau that my monthly social security payment had been reduced to only 750 yuan, which was the minimum living allowance. By studying the Fa and sharing with other practitioners, I understood that asking for the correct amount would provide a good opportunity for me to clarify the truth to the relevant personnel.

With the help of other practitioners, I wrote an “Appeal to Correct My Social Security Disbursement According to the Law.” I was going to submit it to the Social Security Bureau in person, but after I got home, I felt quite lonely. My husband and a few other practitioners I used to share with had passed away, and I was wondering if I should speak to the authorities by myself. Just then, I heard a voice say, “You have your Master! What are you afraid of?” But I still felt unsure. When I looked at Master’s portrait and said to him in my heart, “Master, please help me. I will go talk to them by myself.” I knew that Master had arranged everything and this was my cultivation path that I had to follow and do well. As usual, I memorized the Fa until midnight, sent righteous thoughts, and slept. At 3 a.m., I got up, did the exercises, sent righteous thoughts, and memorized another lecture. It was 8:30 a.m. by then, and I went to the Social Security Bureau to clarify the truth to them.

At first, their section chief was tough, very firm about only giving me 750 yuan. He said, “At your age, you didn’t stay home like you should have. Instead, you went out and did that kind of thing. Why? Don’t do it if the government doesn’t permit it.” Something Master said came to mind:

“Dafa’s dignity can’t be safeguarded with the means of everyday people. It’s brought about by each of our Dafa disciples exhibiting true compassion and kindness. It’s not created, it’s not created by human conduct or human means. It’s born out of compassion and it’s manifest in saving sentient beings and in your cultivation.” (“Fa Teaching Given at the Metropolitan New York Fa Conference” in Collected Teachings Given Around the World Volume III)

I kept Master’s words in mind and said to the section chief with a smile, “I’d like to tell you the facts today. First, it is illegal and unconstitutional to withhold my social security payment.” I showed him the relevant legal provisions and continued, “Falun Gong practitioners are being persecuted by Jiang Zemin’s regime, and there is no legal basis for it. I was illegally and unfairly sentenced to three years in prison.”

The chief said that it was impossible that there weren’t any formal documents on Falun Dafa. He then said that this was not their concern. I said, “The Civil Servant Law is clear about it. As a government official, if you make a wrong decision, you will be held responsible for it. If you rely on a document to withhold my social security payment, yet your doing so conflicts with national laws and the Constitution, it is illegal. In fact, I am thinking about you—I don’t want you to make the wrong decision and be implicated in the future. The CCP often ‘kills the donkey after it leaves the millstone.’”

I told the other staff members about how I was tortured in prison. They were shocked and did not believe that this could happen in today’s society. I said, “Do I look like I’m lying?” They said, “No, you are kind and reasonable. You don’t look like you are in your 70s because your thoughts are so clear.” They asked me if I would agree to a 2,000-yuan payment per month.

I saw that they were able to accept the facts but had not withdrawn from the CCP, so I took a step back and said, “Master Li has told us to always be considerate of others. I know this is your job, and it’s not like you want to take my money.” I continued to talk about the April 25 Incident and the staged Tiananmen self-immolation. I told them that Dafa is a high level Buddha Fa that has spread to more than 100 countries and is admired by people all over the world. They listened attentively.

I then brought up the ongoing pandemic, saying “The CCP authorities concealed the truth and carried out extreme lockdowns. They don’t care about our lives, and so many people have died from it. However, my friends who believe in Dafa have all been safe. Some of them did get sick, but they only had mild symptoms and recovered quickly. When catastrophes hit, it does not matter how much money you have or how high your position is. When you joined the CCP, you made an oath to it, and an evil mark was imprinted on you. Only by withdrawing from the CCP can that mark be erased. When you respect heaven and God, and remember, ‘Falun Dafa is good, Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good,’ you will be blessed by heaven.” I also showed them pictures of the “Hidden Character Stone.” In the end, they all agreed to withdraw from the CCP.

The next month, instead of the 2,000 yuan as promised, I only received 1,500 yuan. I realized it was another opportunity for me to clarify the truth at the district government, district judicial bureau, and other places by applying for administrative reconsideration. I also went to or wrote to the municipal government and congress, Political Consultative Conference, procuratorate, judicial bureau, and Human Resources Bureau.

In the end, several district departments wrote to the Social Security Bureau, asking them to resolve my case. The Social Security Bureau personnel came to negotiate with me and agreed to pay me 3,000 yuan a month. In reality, Master decides Dafa disciples’ earnings, but Master leaves the opportunity for his disciples to save people and build mighty virtue. We can only be more diligent in cultivation so as to be worthy of Master’s grace!

“I Want to Read Zhuan Falun”

Once when I was traveling, I met a man who had just retired from a municipal government office. We were both waiting for the bus in the tourist lounge. After briefly introducing ourselves, I asked him if he knew about Falun Dafa. He said, “I do. Someone where I work practices it—he is a very kind person.”

I told him how Jiang Zemin used his power to deceive people and launched the persecution. I told him that the CCP destroyed traditional culture and caused the deaths of more than 80 million innocent people during its many political movements. We talked for over an hour, and he asked many questions that I patiently answered. Eventually, he decided to withdraw from the CCP using his real name. When his bus arrived, he held my hand and thanked me again and again. I said, “You should thank Falun Dafa’s Master, He told us to save people.” The official said again and again, “Thank you, Master Li.” Another person was saved! With tears in my eyes, I thanked Master in my heart.

Another time, I met a lady at a scenic site. She took the initiative to talk to me and asked me if I was traveling alone. I said I was, that my husband had passed away a few years ago. She asked, “Are you in your 50s?” When I told her that I was 71, she looked at me wide-eyed and said, “You are 10 years older than me, but you look so much younger!”

When I asked her if she wanted to know my secret for staying healthy and young, she eagerly agreed. I told her, “I practice Falun Dafa. I have not gotten sick for over 20 years and have not needed to take any medicine.” She asked me many questions, all of which I answered, and she withdrew from the CCP using her real name after understanding the facts I told her.

When I was about to leave, she suddenly said, “I really want to read Zhuan Falun—it’s so miraculous that it can make people healthy and young.” I gave her some software and told her how to read the Dafa books online. I also gave her a USB flash drive containing an e-book version of Zhuan Falun. I emphasized to her how precious it was, and that she should take good care of it. She said, “I will for sure, no worries.” I told her that when she got home, she could look for local disciples, that Master makes arrangements for predestined people. She thanked me, and I said, “You should thank Master Li.” She said, “Yes! Thank you, Master!”

During that trip, I helped over a dozen people withdraw from the CCP and its affiliated organizations. I thanked Master for taking care of me and for arranging people to come hear the truth.

In the few months since I’ve returned home, I have helped nearly 300 people quit the CCP and its youth organizations. I am still far behind the diligent disciples and even farther away from meeting Master’s requirements, but I have an unshakable determination to practice Dafa no matter what happens! I will continue to solidly cultivate myself to eliminate my attachments, try my best to save more people, and make Master smile a bit more and worry a bit less. I will honor my vow to return to my true home with Master!