(Minghui.org) My daughter is good-looking, elegant, and excellent in her studies. She is well-mannered and well-behaved. She graduated from high school with straight As and is now studying her favorite major at a university of her choice. People around me all say that I am so lucky to have such an excellent daughter. I know that the reason she is so outstanding is because she practices Falun Dafa.
I would like to share some of her experiences here in the hope that it will help other parents.
Do Children Really Understand What Cultivation Is All About?
Many of my friends practice Christianity or other religions. Their children grew up reading the Bible and going to church every Sunday. But when they grew up, they often said that they did not believe in that religion. In the past, they were only forced to participate in these activities by their parents. Now that they are adults, they want to live their own lives.
Having seen so many cases like this, I know that faith cannot be forced on people and it must come from the heart. So from the beginning when I introduced Falun Dafa to my daughter, I focused on helping her understand what cultivation is about and why we cultivate Falun Dafa, so that when she grows up she can truly choose what kind of life she wants to lead.
Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is the essence in Falun Dafa. It is important to help children understand what these principles mean and how to apply them in everyday life. We must also keep in mind that children in different stages of development need specific guidance on how to practice these principles.
When I studied the Fa with my daughter, in addition to explaining the words and their superficial meanings, I also asked her if she understood what she learned that day. Even if it was just a little, it was a valuable gain.
My daughter started learning Falun Dafa when she was about four years old. When I talked to her, I always used language she could understand. I explained things to her by telling stories, and she really liked it. She liked to watch episodes of Journey to the West at that time, so as soon as I explained something with reference to that, she understood it easily.
As she grew older, we started talking about different things. One day, she asked me, “Mom, if we always do what Master tells us and never fight back when we are beaten or talk back when we are scolded, will the bad guys get worse and worse?”
“Well, I hadn’t thought of it that way. Let’s look at your question,” I said to her, “If we fight back, will the person get better?”
“Of course not,” she replied.
“Then we have to use our wisdom to change a bad person. Here is a story from ancient China about how a dispute was resolved by being kind.”
During the Warring States period (about 475 BC to 221 BC), the Liang state and the Chu state were neighbors, and soldiers from both sides grew melons in the fields. The soldiers on the Liang side were hardworking and watered their fields often, and as a result, their melons were big and sweet. The soldiers on the Chu side, on the other hand, were lazy and they rarely watered their melon fields, so their melons were small and far between. What’s worse, the Chu soldiers would steal melons from the Liang side in the evening.
When the Liang soldiers found out and reported to their superiors, they were told not to take revenge, but to help water the Chu melon fields at night, without telling them. The Liang soldiers followed the order and watered the melon fields on the Chu side at night. As a result, the melons on the Chu side also grew bigger and sweeter.
When the King of Chu heard about this, he was very touched by the kindness of the Liang soldiers, and sent a special envoy to the Liang state with valuable gifts, hoping to make friends with them. Thus a bitter dispute was settled, and hence the saying: Repay injury with kindness.
My daughter was very happy to hear the story and she even made a “home show” of the story, playing various roles involved. It was really fun to watch her perform the story. There are endless stories in traditional Chinese culture and they can be very helpful in educating the young.
Let Children Strengthen Their Faith Instead of Being Lectured by Adults
We must help children to establish their faith in the divine and believe in miracles. In fact, the younger the children are, the easier it is for them to experience miracles because of their pure minds.
Once, my daughter cut her finger and she started crying because of the pain. I told her that if she pressed the cut firmly and sincerely recited the auspicious phrases “Falun Dafa is good, Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good,” the cut would heal very quickly. She listened and did what I said. A few minutes later, when she let go of her finger, the cut was indeed healed. “Mom, Master is taking care of me!” She said excitedly.
One day, a friend of mine came to visit with her little boy. My daughter took out her toys and played with him. When they were about to leave, the little boy didn’t want to part with a toy that he really liked. “Just give it to the little boy, will you?” I said to my daughter. But she liked the toy too and didn’t want to give it up.
Later, when she was putting the toys away, the toy she didn’t give to the little boy slipped out of her hand and fell to the floor. It was broken. She said to me, “Mom, I was wrong. I should have given the toy to the boy. I was too selfish.”
For a while, my daughter was crazy about hot chocolate at McDonald’s. I told her it wasn’t very healthy, and she shouldn’t drink too much of it. But she insisted on having it. “Well, I don’t want to force you. You are a cultivator. It won’t taste good when it’s time for you to give it up,” I said to her.
She bought the hot chocolate and got back into the car. “It’s nice!” she said after taking a sip. As we were driving home, she suddenly said to me, “Well, maybe I am too attached to hot chocolate. Master has changed it to bitter coffee.” I was surprised to hear what she said and tasted it. It had Indeed turned into bitter coffee!
One day, just before we went to bed, my daughter said to me in a serious tone, “Mom, I have something to tell you.”
I was shocked by her tone and asked what happened.
“Well, today when I was reciting the Fa with Joy, she recited faster than me, and I was jealous of her.”
“Oh, that’s okay,” I felt relaxed and said to her, “It’s good that you noticed it. Just let it go. Even we adults still feel jealousy from time to time.”
She nodded and told me something else.
“A few days ago, I had a bad thought in my mind, telling me not to believe in Master,” she said.
“What did you do then?” I asked her.
“Well, I just said ‘I don’t want you,’ and it went away.” I was very surprised that at such a young age she knew how to expel thought karma and external interference. I was also very happy that she understood the meaning of cultivation.
I remember when she was four years old, she had some cold symptoms. “Do you want to take medicine or listen to Master’s Fa lectures?” I asked her. She said she didn’t know. I gave her some medicine. But as soon as she drank it, she threw it up.
“Well, it looks like you don’t need medicine,” I said to her. She kept nodding. I played Master’s Fa lectures for her. She felt better after listening to one lecture. From then on, whenever she felt a little sick, she would study the Fa or do the exercises. When she was a little older, she also learned to look within to improve herself whenever she felt any physical discomfort. She always got better after correcting her mistakes and improving herself.
She became a bit nearsighted when she was in the eighth grade. I heard that there was a well-known doctor practicing traditional Chinese medicine in the area, who could treat myopia with acupuncture. I took my daughter to see him. “She is very healthy!” the doctor said, “Her pulse is very good!”
“Yes, she has never been to the hospital since she was a baby, except for vaccinations and physical examinations.” I said to the doctor, “When she had a headache or a slight fever, she practiced the Falun Dafa exercises, and she would soon get well again, without taking any medicine.”
On our way back, I asked my daughter, “You have been very healthy all these years, how come you became nearsighted?” She told me that even though I never restricted her from using the cell phone or computer, and she never saw anything bad, she was still attracted to it and watched some interesting programs online.
I would like to remind parents that they must be strict in limiting children’s access to the Internet. Even though my daughter was very self-disciplined, she still could not help but to browse the Internet, where she might accidentally come across a lot of negative information.
The Importance of Setting Good Examples in Our Own Actions
1. Helping Children Not to Harbor Resentment and Treat Others Kindly With Understanding
When my daughter was in kindergarten, she was knocked down by another child one day while playing on the swings. At dinner, I noticed that half of her face was swollen, and she even had trouble opening her mouth. She told me what had happened. I felt very sorry for her and wanted to ask the teacher why she hadn’t told me about the accident.
Just then, I noticed that my daughter was staring at me as if she wanted to know how I would react to the incident. “Should we talk to the teacher tomorrow?” I asked her.
“I don’t know,” she replied quietly. I collected myself and said, “Well, we cannot undo what has already happened. If we go to the teacher, we would be asking for an apology. The child didn’t hit you on purpose, so I think it’s better we do not mention it to the teacher and not feel resentful, right?”
My daughter nodded and added, “But we can still tell the teacher to be more careful so that other children do not get hurt.”
I was very happy to hear what she said and praised her, “Of course you can tell the teacher, because you are thinking for others and not for yourself.”
For the next few days, although she could only eat soft food, she was happy as if nothing had happened. It turned out that I was the one who couldn’t let it go easily.
From then on, whenever my daughter was hurt, I tried to guide her to act according to the principles taught in Dafa. In this way, she learned from a young age to treat others with kindness and understanding, and not to hold any grudges.
People of my generation grew up with the hateful propaganda and brainwashing of the CCP (Chinese Communist Party), and we tend to harbor strong resentment towards others. After I started practicing Falun Dafa, I understood that I must teach young children by setting a good example for them so that they grow up in a healthy way. My daughter has proven that I was right. It gives me great joy to see how she deals with injustices with kindness and tolerance, and how she looks inward to find her own problems and improve herself.
2. Upholding Traditional Culture and Filial Piety
My daughter was raised by her grandmother when she was little. But when she was about eight years old, I noticed that she was very rude when talking to her grandmother. She improved a little after I pointed it out to her, but she didn’t completely change her attitude. I thought to myself: I must teach her traditional values and help her understand the importance of filial piety.
Looking within, I saw my own problems. Although I seem to be a very filial daughter to my parents and take good care of them, I’m sometimes impatient and disrespectful when I talk to them. This is the influence of the Party culture, and my daughter learned it from me.
I had a serious talk with her so that she could see my problems and would not repeat my mistakes. I also apologized to my mother and told her that I was wrong in being rude sometimes and that I would change in the future. I could tell that my daughter was very touched by what I did and I could see respect in her eyes. She also learned from the incident what cultivation means and that as practitioners we must measure our actions by the standard of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance rather than following someone.
Later, my daughter did much better than I did in this regard. Once, I had an argument with my mother over a small matter. My daughter told me afterward that I should not have argued with her grandmother. “But she was wrong,” I argued. “You still shouldn’t have argued with her. It would be much better to talk to her calmly,” my daughter insisted.
When I lost my patience trying to teach my mother something, my daughter would say to me, “My grandmother could learn it if you were a little more patient. The more impatient you are, the harder it would be for her to learn.” Sometimes my daughter offered to teach her grandmother, and the result was indeed much better.
3. Being Responsible
I often remind my daughter of what Master said in “Teaching the Fa and Answering Questions in Guangzhou,”
“... if you are a student, your natural duty is to study well and be worthy of what your parents, your schools, and your teachers have done for you. Your teachers have sacrificed for you by giving you lessons. Your parents have paid for your schooling and have raised you. So you need to be worthy of your parents’ and school teachers’ efforts, and to work hard to study well.” (“Teaching the Fa and Answering Questions in Guangzhou,” Explaining the Teachings of Zhuan Falun)
My daughter always finished her homework on time, even if she had to stay up until midnight. She also took time management courses. So she is always very good at managing her time. She graduated from high school with a 4.0 GPA in all her subjects. She has just started her college studies and is still getting straight A’s.
Her room is always clean and tidy. She keeps everything in good order, from the files in her computer to her books and clothes. Even I was surprised to see just how organized she is. She also helps her dad with small jobs around the house, such as assembling small pieces of furniture, changing batteries, or cleaning the house. She even helped set up the dining room and living room. She is truly a person with a very strong sense of family responsibility.
Kind People Have Their Own Way of Making a Living
I had a big xinxing test when my daughter was in high school. One day, a janitor at her school who knew us said to me, “How do you raise your daughter? I have been watching her for quite a while, and she is too kind and honest. She doesn’t fight for anything. I saw some of her classmates bullying her, and she didn’t seem to know that she was being bullied. If she is bullied in school, she will be bullied even more in society in the future. I think it is better for her not to go to university but learn a trade so that she can at least make a living.” I was stunned and speechless for a moment.
In the days that followed, I was quite bothered by what the janitor told me. I couldn’t help but thinking about it: I have been teaching her the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance for so many years. Although I never expected her to be famous, she is really very intelligent, kind-hearted, and responsible, and she has always excelled in her studies. How can she be someone who is bullied at school, and someone who will have trouble making a living in the future? Did I do something wrong? Did I go to extremes in trying to raise her to be a good person?
One day, I went out to do something with a fellow practitioner. “You look worried. Anything wrong?” he asked me.
“No, but I’m just a bit concerned that my daughter is too honest that she might be bullied in the future.” I said to him.
“You worry too much,” he said to me, “I always believe that kind-hearted people have their own way of making a living. I was very shy and kind as a child, and I may have been bullied, but I never felt bad about it. You know, kindhearted people may be bullied by someone, but they will never be bullied by Heaven!”
All of a sudden I realized that I have been raising my daughter under the guidance of Falun Dafa since she was a child, because I believe that Heaven always blesses kind-hearted people. How could I be so confused? I realized that I was moved by family affection and had forgotten the righteous principles of cultivation. This friend is very successful in his career and has a very good family. Who says that honest people would be bullied?
My daughter never expects anything in return for her kindness. But because of my own attachments, I worry that she might suffer losses in the future.
I am very grateful to Master for everything he has given us, and I am also very happy to see my daughter becoming a positive member of society. Thank you, Master!
(Selected from submissions for World Falun Dafa Day celebration on Minghui.org)
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