(Minghui.org) For a significant period of time my attachment to fame, personal interests, and emotions caused a kind of “loneliness” that was difficult to endure. This uneasiness prevented me from maintaining a calm mind, and negatively impacted my efforts to do the three things, which include studying the Fa, sending righteous thoughts, and clarifying the truth.
Driven by the desire to purchase a family car, I became engrossed in researching vehicle-related information. I frequently browsed car sales websites, fixating on finding a car with the best features, lowest price, and best reputation. My thoughts and energy revolved around considerations of “benefit” and material gain, demonstrating my deep attachment to fame, personal interests, and emotions.
I gradually became more knowledgeable about cars and the automotive market. In conversations with others, I enthusiastically discussed the car market, filling my mind with this information to the point where I could not stop looking at car-related websites.
I recognized that this state of mind was wrong, yet I could not resist the urge to check these websites. My thoughts were dominated by the attachment, making me feel empty and uneasy when I tried to refrain myself from looking. Even though I didn’t buy a car, merely browsing these sites gave me comfort.
This issue wasn’t limited to cars; I exhibited similar behavior with other shopping websites, albeit less intensely. This obsession disrupted my ability to study, recite, or copy the Fa with a clear mind. It required significant time that should have been dedicated to doing the three things, led to family conflicts, and even caused physical discomfort. My cultivation state was poor. Although I occasionally resisted the attachments, managing to stay away from these sites for a while, the “emptiness” would return, and I would relapse into browsing.
Each time I settled on a car model and decided to make a purchase, my family strongly opposed me, so the car was never bought. This opposition left me feeling deeply “hurt” and “disappointed,” and that sense of loss lingered. Over time, these feelings of disappointment diminished my desire to buy a car, helping me let go of the attachments. However, the root attachment to having a car persisted. While I failed to buy one, my “addiction” to browsing car websites remained for seven or eight years.
This “lonely” feeling surfaced in other attachments as well, although I wasn’t as aware of it in the early stages of my cultivation. For example, I felt lonely when avoiding idle chatter with ordinary people, refraining from sharing cultivation experiences with fellow practitioners, or not completing mundane tasks tied to human emotions.
Recently, during the Fa study, I finally developed a righteous thought, that a car is not a necessity for me—so why am I so attached to something that is optional? Browsing car websites wastes so much time. This state needed to change.
From that moment, I stopped visiting all unnecessary shopping websites. I was aware of having already refrained from using other ordinary sites. With a firm resolve, it felt as though Master had removed much of my attachment. The “loneliness” vanished immediately. My thoughts became simpler, focusing entirely on doing the three things. I felt light and free.
Ultimately, having a car or not is not the issue. The real question is whether I can let go of my attachment to fame, personal interests, and emotions.
Articles in which cultivators share their understandings typically reflect an individual's perception at a point in time based on their cultivation state, and they are offered in the spirit of enabling mutual elevation.
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Category: Cultivation Insights