(Minghui.org) My child and I stayed with my mother, who is also practices Falun Dafa, in early 2020. The schools were closed due to the COVID pandemic. While we were there I passed a big test of sickness karma. I was very thankful to Master for his arrangement. My mother and the other practitioners in my hometown helped me a lot.
Because the area was locked down we stayed at home and read the Fa every day. Our lives were peaceful and meaningful. One day I found a lump in my left breast and it hurt a bit. I stayed calm and kept reading the Fa, but I didn’t look within or send righteous thoughts to negate the sickness karma.
The lump became bigger and more painful. My heart was unsteady and I started having negative thoughts—I kept dismissing them. Although my mother is a doctor I didn’t tell her because I worried that she would explain it to me from a doctor’s perspective and become emotional. I later realized the worry I felt was not actually mine, but rather was my thought karma taking advantage of my fear, and it isolated me.
I studied the Fa a lot and started to memorize the Fa. I enjoyed memorizing the Fa and was able to memorize it very smoothly thanks to Master’s help. Sometimes I was able to memorize one paragraph after I read it twice. I asked my child to check if I omitted or added any words. I was overwhelmed by thought karma when I didn’t study the Fa. I kept dismissing these thoughts and I felt tired.
The lump kept getting bigger. The skin on my breast became so thin and transparent that the blood vessels could be seen clearly. My breast turned reddish and purple. It became hard and hot. It was very painful when I touched it. One day a wave of extreme fear hit me before I took a shower. I didn’t want to take off my clothes, because I didn’t want to see my bloated breast. I immediately realized that this thought was not mine and the situation with my breast was a fake manifestation. Master protects me and I don’t have problems. Why should I fear it, since it was fake? As my mindset changed, I was filled with righteous thoughts.
The pain and swelling had little impact on my daily life. The pain only lasted several seconds each time, several times a day, and only occurred when no one was around. I repeated “Falun Dafa is good, Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good” in my heart. I knew Master bore most of the pain for me, and the pain would be severe for non-practitioners if they had these symptoms.
As I had practiced Falun Dafa for only a short time, I didn’t have a clear understanding of the Fa, even though I studied the Fa diligently. I had a dream one night in which I was being dragged to a guillotine by several strong men and my head was placed under the knife. I screamed, “Don’t kill me!” but my head was chopped off. I woke up and I couldn’t go back to sleep. All I could think of was that dream. I was terrified and wondered if I was about to die.
I could no longer bear it, so I told my mother about my physical and mental suffering. She took me to a practitioner’s home. The entire family practices Falun Dafa, and I told them my story.
To my surprise, they weren’t concerned about my health. Instead they praised me for cultivating and my wish to handle the situation from the Fa’s perspective. I wept when I told them about my dream. I thought they would be worried, but they smiled and told me that it was a good thing, because the part of me composed of attachments and karma died—not the real me.
I felt relieved when they said this. Yes, I saw the guillotine from a third-party perspective. It was not the real me who was killed. I realized that I should study the Fa more. At that time I read all of Master’s lectures only once. I understood the importance of studying the Fa more. Facing a tribulation, I could easily fall into the trap set by the old forces if I didn’t have a sound understanding of the Fa.
They said they would arrange for more practitioners to send righteous thoughts for me and talk with me. I focused on reading and memorizing the Fa after I returned home. I stayed calm. My mother didn’t worry about me as much as I thought she would. She said that Master looks after everything. She did most of the household chores so that I had more time to study the Fa.
A few days later I went to the practitioner’s home again. Two practitioners in their sixties traveled there from a distant village especially for me. We sent forth righteous thoughts together and looked within. They told me how they went to Beijing to appeal for justice for Falun Dafa. One of the practitioners told us some amazing stories, as her third eye was open. Before we left, she told me that I had some black karma around my breast but I would be fine. She asked me if I had doubts about my cultivation.
After we got home, my mother and I meditated. I felt some liquid seep down my chest to my abdomen. I realized bad things oozed out of my breast, and I exclaimed, “Mom, Master is taking care of me!” She turned on the light, opened my top, and saw dark greenish puss coming out of my breast. It was very smelly and got my bed, my clothes, and the floor dirty. I was so excited that I trembled. My mother cleaned everything up. I lay in bed but I was so excited that I couldn’t sleep. I was so thankful to Master.
The smelly, dirty stuff kept coming out over the next several days. I carried on with my life as usual. The wound on my breast soon healed. Now I only have a thin and shallow scar.
I started to practice Falun Dafa with my mother when I was little, but I became lost in everyday society as I grew up. I wasted many years before I came back to Dafa. Thank you, Master, for not giving up on me. Thank you, Master, for your compassion and protection. The only way I can repay you is to cultivate diligently!