(Minghui.org) When I first began following Falun Dafa, I did not rationally understand Dafa or what it meant to my life. I am now searching for the reasons I began cultivation back then. Was it because of my fundamental attachments? Have I eliminated them? Recently, I have been seriously examining myself.
I first heard about Dafa shortly after I started college and was having a hard time adjusting to life on campus. Learning Dafa’s principle that people give you virtue when they treat you badly comforted me. I also imagined that forming a family with a practitioner would bring me a happy life. This naïve thinking motivated me to take up cultivation.
I once believed that my fundamental attachments were my pursuit of a happy life and my intention to benefit through Dafa practice. At that time, I focused my cultivation on removing these attachments.
A few days ago, I was shocked when I read Master’s words during Fa study:
“Some people thought that this or that aspect of Dafa was good, but today’s test is relentless, as no human attachment can be taken to heaven.” (“Fa Teaching Given at the Western U.S. Fa Conference,” Guiding the Voyage)
Since Dafa is all-encompassing, I needed to understand all its aspects and not just focus on one or two of its principles. So, I took time to recall and organize my thoughts since I started cultivating.
One of my college teachers introduced Dafa to me. I took up Dafa out of admiration and respect for the college teachers and professors I considered well-educated and superior to others. I felt superior by being in the same group as them. However, this thinking manifested my strong attachment to fame.
I also attached to Master’s character of being capable, civilized, and upright. He held a perfect image in my mind. I didn’t realize that these shallow human notions were not in line with the Fa, but an attachment—even a fundamental attachment.
Shortly after the persecution of Falun Dafa started in July 1999, the Chinese regime defamed Master by saying that He lived a life of luxury, which I found ridiculous. I believed that Master came to save us and would not care about worldly glories and wealth. I considered my view on this issue to be clear. Still, because of the persecution, I could no longer wore my Falun pin in public. I felt disappointed that I couldn’t show off that I was a part of an outstanding group of people.
Not long ago, I listened to Milarepa Buddha’s cultivation story again. One part of the story caught my attention. When his Master, Marpa, repeatedly refused to accept him as a disciple because he was too poor to make offerings, he didn’t blame or despise Marpa for being greedy. He considered himself to be at fault for being too poor to pay.
I, however, made a judgment about Master (though I thought I was being positive) when I heard the lie and was not non-judgemental like Milarepa was. What was my problem?
Master told us:
“In some specific respects, the minds of some students initially fluctuated a lot between the April 25th event of last year through the happenings of July 20th. That’s normal, too, because only when you have ordinary human thoughts can you cultivate; only when you have ordinary human thoughts can you waver; and only when you have ordinary human thoughts can you determine the right path you should take amidst the wavering. This is cultivation. That’s why at that time many of you were thinking: “Is this Fa I’m studying correct and righteous? What kind of person is Li Hongzhi? Is there truth to what’s said by this evil force that lies to hurt the reputation of others?” Every student thought about these questions—you were thinking about them more or less. This was also to give you an opportunity for reflection. So it wasn’t wrong.” (“Fa Teaching Given at the Great Lakes Fa Conference in North America,” Guiding the Voyage)
I understood that Master gave us time to think and that it was not wrong to go through the thinking process. However, many practitioners didn’t need to think about the issue and defended Dafa right away. Why did I need time to think?
At the beginning of my cultivation, I didn’t agree with something Master said. I suspected that Iit was related to my fundamental attachments, but failed to figure out what they were. Master must have seen my frustration and led me to read a sharing article on the Minghui website. The author discovered his fundamental attachment, that Dafa teachings are in line with what he believed to be the correct principles and universal values.
It dawned on me that this was a fundamental attachment of mine and the reason I failed to respect Master unconditionally.
This realization reminded me of a dream I had a few years ago after I had memorized the Fa all day to improve my poor cultivation state. In the dream, Master smiled at me and encouraged me to memorize the Fa. Then he pointed to a pile of books on the floor, which were biographies of sages and heroes.
I guessed that Master was hinting that I shouldn’t hold onto human ideologies. However, because I hadn’t read those books, I brushed off the idea and failed to recognize the significant effects that human principles had on me.
Back in 1999, I was in my 20s and didn’t have many of my own opinions. So, why did my human notions dominate my perception of Master and Dafa? It seemed to me that my notions had accumulated through numerous reincarnations and formed a strong ego.
I also recalled that the other day, while I pondered my attachments, a Chinese Communist Party song playing in the back of my mind. I also realized that my disrespect of Master and Dafa stemmed from the Party culture hidden inside me and deterred me from recognizing my attachments.
The CCP culture is prevalent around the world and has affected practitioners outside China, too. Master said:
“In China, they are practicing evil Communism in form, while in substance they’re a pack of gangsters and a cult rolled into one. In the West, they are against evil Communism in form, while in substance they are practicing it.” (“Teaching the Fa at the Western U.S. International Fa Conference,” Collected Teachings Given Around the World Volume VII)
The far-left ideology and Communist culture have already seeped into the minds of practitioners. They unknowingly impact our thoughts despite the fact that we practitioners have revealed their harms and rejected them.
Most of the songs performed in Shen Yun shows during recent years exposed the harms caused by atheism and evolution. In the book Hong Yin VI, Master repeatedly mentions the damage wreaked by the Party culture, indicating its huge impact on our cultivation.
I echoed the views of a sharing article I read: If cultivators think their human beliefs are the ultimate standard of measurement, this is a problem. If they perceive that the Fa principles at a certain level, or something the Fa requires us to do, do not accord with the human principles they believe in, they may very well turn their backs on the Fa.
Human notions and the Party culture can influence our judgment about everything, including Master and other practitioners, and lead us to promote and validate ourselves instead of the Fa. Using Dafa to validate oneself and one’s set of theories, places one above Master and Dafa. Clinging to our fundamental attachments has become the foremost impediment that Dafa practitioners are experiencing now.
Reading Master’s latest article, “Critical Times Reveal One’s Spiritual State,” I realized that “Reveal One’s Spiritual State” means we need to discern attachments that affect not just our actions but the foundation of our cultivation. We must find attachments and notions during any conflict, let alone during the ordeals experienced by practitioners. Only by purifying ourselves can we achieve the standards in the new cosmos set by Master.
Related article:My Understanding on Eliminating a Fundamental Attachment