My Mother-in-Law Helps Me Cultivate

(Minghui.org) I was fortunate to find Falun Dafa in May 1999, but I was busy with work and did not cultivate diligently. However, Master did not give up on me. Through his compassionate arrangement, I resumed practicing at the end of 2010.

I would like to share some of my experiences of how Master’s Fa principles guided me to improve my xinxing and get along with my mother-in-law.

Getting Rid of My Complaints

My family rented a new place on the edge of the city in May 2019. I did not have any negative thoughts about my mother-in-law since I followed Master’s teaching to be a good person and cultivate my xinxing. She never went to school—instead she worked on a farm and took care of her children. Her husband died when she was in her 30s and she worked hard. She was very hardworking and frugal but often spoke bluntly.

I was introverted since childhood and I often cried privately or became angry when I was criticized. After I started practicing Falun Dafa, I followed Master’s teachings to think of others first. I strove to meet the standards of a Falun Dafa practitioner, no matter how bluntly my mother-in-law spoke to me.

However, after we moved, I began to complain and look down on her. I noticed she did little housework other than cooking. She did not clean the house and ignored the mud on the white tiles in the bathroom. I silently complained, “Why don’t you clean, especially when you have nothing to do? How can you ignore the dirt?” Over time, I developed disdain toward her.

I usually tried to let go of my attachment after I identified it. But, I was busy at work all day and returned to a filthy house. I was angry and thought, “I wouldn’t say anything normally, but it’s the New Year and I don’t have time for this. You should at least clean the house. How can you be like this?” All my anger and complaints surfaced and I didn’t want to talk to her or look at her.

As a practitioner, I knew that my state wasn’t right. I should use this as an opportunity to cultivate myself and eliminate my resentment. I asked myself why I couldn’t follow Master’s teaching and tolerate her. Her lack of cleanliness was not a new thing as she’d always been like this, and it would hard for her to change. I should be tolerant of other’s shortcomings and think from her perspective. I knew I should get rid of my complaints and stop looking down on her.

One day I remembered Master’s teaching:

“Take a human being as an example. The Tao School considers the human body a small universe. A person has a physical body, yet a person is not complete with only a physical body. One must also have human temperament, personality, character, and an Original Soul in order to constitute a complete and independent person with individuality.” (Lecture One, Zhuan Falun)

I gradually realized that my mother-in-law didn’t like to do housework and didn’t care if the house was dirty. My complaints and looking down on her gradually weakened but weren’t entirely gone.

One day I suddenly enlightened when I read what Master said:

“So in any situation, don’t be affected by human-type behavior, don’t be affected by human thoughts, and don’t be affected by the feelings and emotions in this world, either. Look more at the positives in others and less at the negatives.” (Teachings Given on Lantern Festival Day, 2003)

I realized that I was affected by my mother-in-law’s behavior, so I complained. I asked myself why I was usually able to tolerate her behavior, but I complained about her during Chinese Near Year. Looking inward, I realized it was because of my selfishness. The more housework I had to do after I returned home, the less time I had to study the Fa. The more anxious I felt, the more I complained. I truly did not try to understand her.

My mind was filled with deviated human notions from the modern world. I expected my mother-in-law, as a member of the family, to take care of the housework at home while I worked outside. I lacked the concept of “filial piety” valued in traditional culture. Once I understood this, my complaints and contempt gradually disappeared. I was no longer concerned whether she cleaned the house, I just did it myself.

Further Eliminating My Attachments of Complaint and Looking Down on Others

Before Master published, “A Wake-Up Call,” I once again began complaining and looking down on my mother-in-law. It was almost summer—she could not sleep well, got up 6 a.m. to cook porridge, and made a lot of noise. She always let the porridge overflow onto the stove. When the rice was already cooked, she opening the lid and continued cooking it over high heat. I complained in my heart again, “Don’t you know how to cook and why do you turn up the heat so high? You should turn it down and cook the rice slowly.”

I also felt uncomfortable watching her wash dishes. She kept the water running the entire time. I felt she should wash the dishes first and then turn on the water to rinse them. Every time I saw this, my complaints and contempt for her resurfaced. As a practitioner, I knew I should eliminate these human notions. My complaints still lingered even after I sent righteous thoughts.

I looked inward and found that I still had strong attachments of selfishness and personal interests. Every time I washed dishes, the “self” told me how I should wash them. I told myself this was really not me. I need to cultivate myself well and truly get rid of this selfishness, which caused me to complain and look down on others. I tried to suppress it but I still couldn’t completely eliminate it.

I read Master’s recent article several times after it was published, but I wasn’t greatly moved. I reminded myself that every article Master publishes has profound meaning and is the embodiment of Fa-Rectification in the human world. I should memorize the Fa, and use Master’s words to measure myself.

Master said:

“To be able to regard anyone and everyone with compassion, to have love for all people, really isn’t something the average person can achieve. Harder still is to have a sense of compassion toward all living things in everything you do. But that is something practitioners of Dafa have to be able to do!” (“A Wake-Up Call”)

Master’s Fa awakened me, and I asked myself, “Do I have compassion? Do I have compassion for my mother-in-law?” She’s in her seventies and prepares three meals a day for the family and sometimes has to walk to her hometown in the countryside to do farm work. Every time she asked me to pick her up from her hometown, I was reluctant, and silently complained that she wasted my time. As a practitioner, I failed to think from her perspective: she worked on the farm to help make money for the family. She was trying to help the family, but I was only focused on my own interests.

Master’s Fa shattered my ego, complaints, and contempt I had for her. As a Falun Dafa practitioner I should follow what Master taught us, and regard everyone with compassion. I must have kindness and love for my mother-in-law.

I used to send forth the righteous thoughts immediately after breakfast in order to save time, and I washed my own bowl afterwards, leaving the rest of the dishes for my mother-in-law to clean. After understanding Master’s Fa, I changed my behavior. I washed all the dishes, instead of leaving them for her. When she went to the farm, I picked her up without any complaint. I rarely bought milk for her in the past. But I began to bring her milk. There were no more barriers between us, and she no longer speaks bluntly. She now chats with me when we eat.

After I memorized Master’s article, I felt my dimensional fields become peaceful, and I treated everyone and everything around me with kindness. The human notions and attachments I had before, such as looking down on others, jealousy, competitive mentality, arrogance and self-righteousness, were removed by Master. I now truly understand the humility, reverence, gratitude and compassion that a Falun Dafa practitioner should have.

Looking back on my cultivation, I understand that every xinxing test I passed was guided by Master’s Fa, step by step. Every time I passed a test, I gained some insights from the Fa. I pay attention and focus when I read the Fa. I also study Master’s other lectures, including the ones before July 20, 1999.

Thank you, Master, for your compassionate salvation!