A Good Cultivation Environment Got Me Through Severe Sickness

(Minghui.org) In my cultivation, I often didn’t know how and when to search within for my attachments. Besides help from Master Li, the founder of Falun Dafa, I have had a good cultivation environment to help me get through tribulations. The practitioners in my Fa study group speak their minds on everything from everyday life to cultivation issues. We also kindly and directly point out each other’s notions and help one another improve on our paths of cultivation.

Two years ago, I survived a severe bout of illness karma. Then, last August at my daughter’s, I suddenly felt nauseous and started vomiting—the same symptoms I had two years before when I nearly died. I quickly sent righteous thoughts and remembered what Master said about illusions. I tried to negate the discomfort and thought, “I don’t want it. Disappear now.” It helped a little but not much. Over the next few days the pain kept me up all night.

Fang, a practitioner, told me that illness karma surfaces as a reminder for a cultivator to improve his/her character. I agreed, and we worked together to find my notions and attachments.

Jealousy

The day before when we all studied the Fa together, I told Tong that I often got mosquito bites. She told me that she cultivated well, so mosquitoes seldom bit her. I didn’t like what she said and responded, “That’s right, you cultivate well.”

I told Fang that something was wrong with what I said, but I wasn’t sure what. She told me that I was sarcastic and jealous. It got me thinking that, although I didn’t really think that Tong cultivated well, she has been clarifying the truth face to face on the streets almost every day for years, which was something that I couldn’t do. I was determined to eliminate my jealousy.

Growing My Own Vegetables for My Family

Because my family members do not practice Falun Dafa, I wanted to make sure that they ate well and stayed healthy. I had been focused on setting up boxes and buying soil and seeds to grow my own vegetables. Recently I heard that one of my relatives’ land was expropriated, so I went to their place to get leek roots so that I could grow them at home. The next day I skipped Fa study because I was busy replanting the roots. That was the day I fell ill at my daughter’s.

I realized that my illness returned because I slacked off in Fa study. Fang said, “I was planning to talk to you about that. You’ve been talking a lot about growing vegetables recently. Slacking off in Fa study is one reason, but another reason is that your are attached to your family and worried that they might get sick. You cannot control others’ destinies. Ordinary people fall sick because they have karma, not from eating unhealthy food.”

I was awakened, and growing my own vegetables did not seem important anymore.

Hidden Attachment to Fame

My husband is a kind person and supports my practice. However, I often criticized and judged him. For example, he would not let me wash his pants even though he’d worn them for many days. I complained about him to Fang, and she told me that was just his way and wasn’t a big deal and that I should leave him alone.

What she said sounded reasonable, but I just couldn’t it let it go. Seeing that I looked upset, Fang asked what his dirty laundry had to do with me, I said, “Nothing. I just worry that other people might think that I was too lazy to do his laundry.”

She laughed, “You said it—it’s your face that you want to save. You are attached to fame.” I laughed, too.

All of the attachments we found stemmed from my selfishness. After I let go of them, my health problems were gone.