Cultivating Myself Amidst Family Conflicts

(Minghui.org) While cultivating, we will encounter many tests, conflicts, and tribulations—especially within our families. Since we have close contact with our family members, there will naturally be more opportunities for conflicts to arise. As a practitioner of Falun Dafa, no matter what we encounter, everything is arranged by Master Li. I firmly believe that the cultivation environment will improve as long as we learn the Fa well and look within when we encounter difficulties.

My sister Yaya needed someone to care for her household, so I helped her. However, working with her was not easy. Many times, she blamed me and accused me of doing things I didn’t do.

When I first arrived at Yaya’s house, she told me how to use her fitness equipment, but I didn’t use it.

A few days later, my sister asked me sternly, “Why did you loosen the screws on the fitness equipment and not tighten them; how dangerous!”

“I have never used it,” I replied.

My sister didn’t believe me and growled, “If you didn’t move it, who did? I didn’t. My son never touches it. If you didn’t move it, could the screws have become loose by themselves? You moved them and forgot you did it, and you still won’t admit it. You are truly old and confused.”

Her words hurt me deeply. I wanted to lash out, but I thought: “I need to maintain my xinxing; this is a test.” I went upstairs and kept reminding myself, “Do not be tempted to react with anger; let it go.” After a while, I calmed down.

The next day, Yaya apologized, “My son wanted to work out and unscrewed the equipment to adjust it. But he did not know how to put it back and just left it there.” At that point, I no longer had the slightest fluctuation in my heart, as if nothing had happened.

Another time, my sister and I went to clean the hallway of her rental property. I swept the hallway well and went to do other work. After a while, my sister asked me, “Why didn’t you sweep the hallway?” I told her that I had.

She immediately and angrily yelled, “What do you mean you did? Come over here and take a look. You did nothing. Why are you talking nonsense?”

When I looked, I saw a lot of dirt on the floor, and I was baffled: “I swept it clean. Where did all this stuff come from?”

Yaya growled, “You’re still lying. You said you swept the floor when you hadn’t. How can you lie like that? I really can’t stand you anymore!”

I didn’t argue with her. I thought to myself: “Master knows whether I swept the floor or not. My conscience is clear, and she can say whatever she wants.” I was calm and unmoved.

After I swept the hallway again, I went to work on other things. I came back later and saw Yaya in the hallway.

She looked at me and said, embarrassedly: “There is another layer of dirt on the ground. It’s not that you didn’t sweep it. It’s glass particles that have weathered and fallen.” I smiled. I passed another test that quickly.

I had the same experience a few more times. Whenever I was wronged, I thought to myself, “I am a Dafa disciple.” I reminded myself to remain unmoved for trivial reasons no matter what happened. Nothing happens by chance. If I can genuinely remain unmoved during cultivation, all interference will dissolve.

Whenever a conflict suddenly appeared, I did not argue with Yaya. I only explained a little. Afterward, she would feel sorry and apologize to me. But the next time, she would wrong me again and later apologize; this repeated several times.

Sometimes, I felt sad because my sister used to be very kind to me. Now, she seemed like a different person. Sometimes, when my sister was being unreasonable and yelling, I’d say that I would leave, and she would start crying, saying that I didn’t understand her and was inconsiderate. When my tears began welling up, I kept reciting Master’s teaching: “... if your mind can be imperturbable, there will be nothing you can’t handle.” (“Eliminate Your Last Attachment(s),” The Essentials of Diligent Progress II)

Whenever my sister wronged me, I was able to first look within and remain unmoved by the conflict. I am a cultivator, so I need to handle cultivation seriously. Whenever I felt sad and aggrieved, I told myself, “It is all good; Master arranged this to improve my level; I should remain unmoved.” My sister felt better when she saw that I was not angry with her.

After incidents like these, my sister changed. She said, “You are doing so well, truly acting like a cultivator and meeting the standard. You are closer to your Master now.” I knew that Master was encouraging me through her words.

One day, she said, “Only I can help you improve. Who would talk to you like this? We are sisters, so I dare to be so blunt with you. I am helping you eliminate karma. Look how good you are now. You are different from before.” I was happy that I passed one tribulation after another and even more grateful for Master’s boundless compassion.

Master enlightened me to a principle in a dream. Outside the wall of my sister’s house, a three-story-high black coal-like substance was cleared away, leaving tiny particles behind, which I swept with a broom. I know well that Master has borne a large portion of karma for me. While writing this, tears flowed down. I have a compassionate and great Master. How lucky I am! Master protects me all the time and watches over my cultivation.

I want to change my mindset and truly regard the tribulations I encounter as steps to improvement. I am grateful to those who create tribulations for me. When I left my sister’s place, Master arranged a different cultivation environment for me. I have a more relaxed work environment now and my own place to live, which gives me more time to cultivate. I felt as if all good things had come in an instant.

When I did the Standing Stance exercise one day, I saw golden characters that spelled out part of a sentence from one of Master’s lectures, “... for we are cultivators, people whose bodies are in the secular world but whose minds are beyond it.” (“Fa Teaching Given at the 2005 Manhattan International Fa Conference,” Collected Teachings Given Around the World Volume V). I understand that as Dafa disciples, we must cultivate ourselves well no matter the circumstances. This is also the best way to repay Master for what he has done for us.