Looking Within and Improving My Character in Trivial Matters

(Minghui.org) I often come across opportunities to improve my xinxing when it comes to trivial matters in my everyday life, especially when it comes to my family life. I didn’t pass a lot of the tests, but I wished to do better when I reflected upon myself. I would like to share a few happenings below. Although trivial, they point to exactly at what we need to cultivate and improve upon.

One morning, my parents and I were getting our breakfast in the kitchen. Mother mentioned that I had told her that I wouldn’t eat any more hamburgers she made. I didn’t remember having said that. Feeling wronged, I denied impatiently, “I haven’t said that.” Mother insisted that I had. I got upset and started arguing with her. She even said that I had always denied what I had said, which upset me even more.

I realized later that I had failed the test when it came to my cultivation. Looking within, I indeed found many attachments. How did the conflict happen in the first place? Although I hadn’t said the exact words, I had said things that were of a similar effect, such as “The hamburgers mom made don’t have any meat and don’t taste good.” It showed my attachment to taste and my ungratefulness. I should be happy that my mom had cooked for me and shouldn’t be picky.

Master taught us:

“Eating, but caring not to taste-The palate’s attachments severed.”(“Abiding in the Dao,” Hong Yin)

The bickering process also exposed many problems when it came to my cultivation. First, I had a strong attachment to prove that I hadn’t said that sentence and I had been wronged. My refutation reflected my strong fighting mentality. Actually, I shouldn’t have argued, no matter if I had said that sentence or not. I had completely failed to treat the incident as a trial when it came to my cultivation. I was determined to win the argument and prove I was the good one. However, whoever improves her xinxing is the good one.

Secondly, my tone wasn’t kind. Obsessed with my argument, I spoke irritably and impatiently, ignoring any kindness.

Master has taught us,

“For a cultivator, all the frustrations he comes across among everyday people are trials, and all the compliments he receives are tests.” (“A Cultivator is Naturally Part of It,” Essentials for Further Advancement)

I should keep Master’s words in my mind all the time and remind myself to treat any conflicts in everyday life as opportunities to improve my xinxing. I should also keep compassion in my mind, so that I have a mental buffer for any sudden conflict. It would be wrong for a cultivator to want to win arguments.

When I shared my experience with a fellow practitioner, she said, “You won’t see many conflicts on the aspects you have cultivated well, but you will always come across conflicts on the aspects you haven’t done well. If you fail one trial, the next one may be harder. Trials won’t count unless they disturb your heart.” I agree with her.

I often come across conflicts at home, but rarely in other places, because I have done well in other places, but not at home. I didn’t treat conflicts at home as trials on my cultivation and didn’t really improve my xinxing. I should do well at home, too. It’s not easy to measure everything with the Fa and cultivate on trivial matters according to the Fa.