My Cultivation Journey While Breaking Through My Human Notions

(Minghui.org) I began practicing Falun Dafa almost 30 years ago, when I was six years old. My husband also practices.

I haven’t cultivated well compared to other practitioners. Because of my attachments, as well as the Chinese Communist Party’s (CCP) continuous persecution of my family, I became depressed and confused.

In the winter of 2022, my father was arrested and detained after he stayed away from home for seven years, to avoid the persecution. For a long time, I felt this happened because I didn’t cultivate well and I blamed myself. Even though I knew this didn’t make any sense, I couldn’t control my thoughts. I reviewed my cultivation. I was self-employed, but during the COVID lockdown, the economic pressure was high, so I didn’t cultivate diligently. I didn’t pay attention to my cultivation—it wasn’t until the persecution happened to my family again that I woke up.

Looking inward, what went wrong? On one hand, I had the attachment to and dependence on family affection, the other was my strong attachment to ego and money. There were many other things, such as emotion, the attachment to comfort, jealousy, competitiveness, fear, etc., which hindered my cultivation. I couldn’t calm down when I read the Fa and I couldn’t do the three things to save people. I was filled with self-doubt. I cultivated for so many years, why did I still have so many attachments that I couldn’t let go of? Did Master give up on me? Trapped by the old forces, I couldn’t extricate myself.

Maybe Master saw that I still wanted to cultivate well, and when the opportunity was ripe, he arranged for a fellow practitioner to help me.

A practitioner visited me, and her words were so sharp that a non-practitioner wouldn’t have endured it. My 13-year-old daughter exclaimed, “How can you criticize my mother so harshly?” However, my heart was at peace, because I knew Master sent her to help me. I accepted her criticism, and felt what she said was correct. I told my daughter the practitioner was right. At that moment, it was as if a shell had been peeled away from my body, and I felt joy in my heart.

After that, when I read the Fa, I was able to calm down and read three lectures. Whenever I picked up the book before, I was disturbed by trivial things and I couldn’t focus. Since then, I deeply felt the importance of persistently studying the Fa every day.

I realized a layer of Fa principles from what Master said in Zhuan Falun:

“Hua Tuo saw a tumor in Cao Cao’s brain and wanted to operate on it. Cao Cao thought that Hua Tuo meant to murder him, and so he imprisoned Hua Tuo. As a result, Hua Tuo died in prison. When Cao Cao’s illness recurred, he remembered Hua Tuo and looked for him, but Hua Tuo was already dead. Later, Cao Cao indeed died of this illness.” (Lecture Seven, Zhuan Falun)

I felt that my problems were like Cao Cao’s tumors. If I refused to rectify myself and didn’t want to solve my issues, and instead made excuses, then maybe I wouldn’t make a breakthrough. Master sees clearly in other dimensions whether we want to cultivate or not, and whether we can still cultivate, Master sees it all. We have to keep getting rid of our attachments (“tumors”), to study the Fa every day, and to improve our xinxing, so we can save people. Then all the things we do to save people will be meaningful.

After I had this breakthrough my fear lessened, and I went out once a week to clarify the truth with other practitioners. During that time, my cooperation with other practitioners was relatively smooth. Every time I went out, I was able to talk to people, and help them quit the CCP—something I couldn’t imagine doing before. I was happy for those who listened and accepted what I said. When I encountered people who did not understand I calmly told them that the propaganda on TV is fake.

After my father was persecuted it was hard for me to clarify the truth in person. But after I began going out I realized that so many people were waiting to be saved. Through continuously improving myself I can clarify the truth and also help my children.

In the process of eliminating my attachments, I also tried to rescue my father and relieve him of the pressure of persecution. The process was difficult, but there was always someone to help him. For example, when he was detained in the detention center, he was able read Master’s new lectures which made his will to cultivate even stronger.

Although the widespread persecution lessened, it continues and is generally concentrated in prisons. After practitioners are sent to prison, its very difficult for their families to meet with them. Many practitioners who refused to be transformed could not see their families for a year, or even several years.

My father was illegally sentenced to 12 years. The day after he was sent to prison, I began to negotiate with the prison officials. In the process I constantly tried to get rid of my own fears, tried not to touch the negative factors of the prison guards when dealing with them. I talked to them from the perspective of family and humanity. After talking to them for six weeks I was finally to meet my father in prison. His condition gradually improved, and his hearing returned to normal after he was deaf for a few months.

I had several tests in the process of breaking through this interference. I negotiated with the people in the prison administration section, and they asked me if I also practiced Falun Dafa. I didn’t answer directly, but I told them that because of filial piety it was my responsibility to take care of my father. My father is a good man, and the neighbors knew him. They may have wanted to ask me to help “transform” my father. I kept sending righteous thoughts, and then a section chief felt that he couldn’t go on talking, so he left.

Later, in order to make things difficult for me, when I did the paperwork to visit my father, the prison officers asked me to go to the local police station to get a “certificate of not practicing Falun Dafa,” otherwise I wouldn’t be allowed to see him. I asked them, “Is there a legal basis for this request? Which law stipulates it?” They were speechless.

When I went back the second time, the prison staff didn’t even mention it, and I knew that this was a test of my heart. I was not afraid, because I believed in Master and the Fa solidly.

And I also found that I tried to rely on others. Because my brother is an ordinary person, I wonder if I should let him come forward to solve it? But then I realized that it was wrong, and practitioners should play the leading role. I also complained and was impatient with my brother. I felt that I had been taking care of my father’s affairs, but he was always reluctant to help.

As a cultivator my thinking this way was definitely wrong, and I must be kind to everyone, and even more so to my brother. I was not moved by what he said, and patiently discussed with him how to solve the problem. When I calmed down, I sent forth righteous thoughts to clean up the negative factors behind him. As a result, things suddenly took a turn for the better. We were told that we could visit my father. My brother also changed from having a negative attitude at the beginning to being positive, and he was able to cooperate with me and take care of my father’s situation. It can be seen from this that ordinary people change when we do.

I realized that ordinary people avoid difficulties, and as cultivators, we should take righteous thoughts as the standard. No matter what difficulties or obstacles we face, we should be firm in our righteous thoughts and do it, rather than blindly pursuing the result. This way, we will see that “after passing the shady willow trees, there will be bright flowers and another village ahead!”

Every experience is a process of getting rid of human thoughts and attachments. Through this incident, I have felt the power of kindness and righteous thoughts that Master talked about. Because of this breakthrough in visiting my father in prison, it was also of great help to other practitioners who were illegally detained. A local practitioner hadn’t seen her family for two years. Soon after we visited my father, the families of several of fellow practitioners who had been illegally detained in the women’s prison were notified, and the prison let their families visit them. The persecution of practitioners in women’s prisons has always been very evil, it may be that this breakthrough eliminated the evil factors in prisons. I feel that we just need to believe in Master and the Fa, and everything is arranged by Master. We just need to cultivate ourselves and do what we have to do.

Improving by Participating in the Local Group Fa-Study

Since 2024, I’ve participated in the group study with local practitioners. In the past, I didn’t want to expose my attachments, so I didn’t talk about my understanding of the Fa—I only talked to individual practitioners. So, my cultivation improved very slowly.

It wasn’t until I fell while riding a bicycle that I had a realization. I told the others what happened when we met to read the Fa and we discussed it. I realized that this is what cultivation sharing is! Before, I always stuck to my own notions and closed myself off.

I suggested practitioners read the Fa together when conditions permit, so we could improve faster. We set up two groups to read in the morning and in the evening. In the morning, I read with an elderly practitioner who had a grandchild. We persevered every day. The elderly practitioner said this helped her cultivation quickly improve. She became energetic, and her thinking changed—her righteous thoughts become stronger and stronger.

There are three young practitioners in the evening group. In the beginning, they procrastinated in doing their homework and could not finish it at 11 p.m., but now they can complete their homework around 9 p.m., and then they read the Fa together for about an hour. They also memorize a poem in Hong Yin every time they finish reading the Fa.

One practitioner said she felt we returned to the environment of group Fa-Study in 1999, which was very good! She has always had such a wish, but she didn’t expect it to come true. I smiled and said, “I’ve been waiting for you for ten years.” In fact, it is not only ten years, but tens of millions of years of fate to have the opportunity to be together to improve together, if you don’t cherish it now, it will be a pity, unimaginable.

I still have many gaps in my cultivation, and many attachments. I will study the Fa, improve myself, save more people, walk the final path of cultivation, and live up to Master’s compassion!

If I’ve said anything incorrect, please kindly point it out.