Choosing to Believe in Master and the Fa

(Minghui.org) I started practicing Falun Dafa in late September 1998. My understanding of the Fa was confined to the superficial level at the time because I did not study the Fa much and was not diligent in cultivation. I seldom studied the Fa after the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) launched the persecution of Falun Dafa in 1999. In 2000, I was very angry to learn that a fellow practitioner who lived in my neighborhood, died after being made to do forced labor. So I began to clarify the facts to people, despite having many attachments. I went to Beijing in late 2000 to appeal for Dafa, for fear of being left behind during the Fa-rectification process.

Soon afterward I was arrested, detained, suspended from work, and had my salary withheld. I did not do well as a practitioner and felt extremely unworthy of all that Master had done for me, and I blamed myself a lot, which became an attachment. I was very distressed for not knowing how to cultivate.

I believe that the most difficult part of cultivation is making a choice. It is not that difficult after you make up your mind. Although I was not a good practitioner, I did not give up my cultivation, and still firmly believed in Master and Dafa. I gradually developed righteous thoughts when studying Dafa books more, reading practitioners articles in “Remembering Master’s Grace: Early Days in China,” looking inward to improve myself, and, learning to do the three things that practitioners should do, including studying the Fa, sending forth righteous thoughts, and clarifying the facts.

The police were arresting local practitioners based on a list, and they searched my relative’s home in November 2020. Someone told me to be careful as I was also on that list. I replied, “What they say doesn’t count!” and went to work as usual. I was still very nervous however, and scared after the practitioners were arrested. I later realized that as a Dafa practitioner I should listen to Master and do the three things well. The old forces should not persecute us because we have attachments. Only by cultivating Dafa can we get rid of attachments and become righteous.

The police later carried out a nationwide “Zero Out” campaign. I refused to see the police when they came to my house. Later, the CCP secretary of the department where I work and the CCP secretary of the hospital talked to me and put pressure on me, but I insisted on choosing to believe in Master and the Fa, and would not slander Dafa’s reputation. I chose to walk on my cultivation path.

Letting Go of Self-Interest, Removing Attachments, and Improving Family Relationships

I was under a lot of stress while working as a medical professional, and coughed all year round. After I started practicing Falun Dafa, my health improved dramatically. I felt reborn and full of happiness, and my temperament became much more cheerful.

Working in a hospital, I refused to accept gifts from patients and their families over the years, totaling around two million yuan, and my behavior helped my colleagues become aware of the preciousness of Dafa. Many of them changed their attitudes from refusing to listen to me talk about Dafa, to recognizing Dafa and making positive comments behind my back. However, some people thought that I was not smart to decline the free money. Later, when I had financial pressure while supporting my parents, I thought about accepting some gift money, but I rejected the thought in the end because I felt that my wrong behaviors would cause damage to other people. Sentient beings recognizing Dafa is dependent upon Dafa practitioners doing well.

My desire for self-interest was not completely eliminated, and I paid close attention to my hard-earned money. I also cared about my husband’s money, but he gave a lot of it to his family and never to me. Additionally, he destroyed my Dafa books, so I became very resentful, jealous, and picky when dealing with him. With many ordinary human desires to live a good life, I had a strong fighting and competitive mind, while longing to be respected and recognized. Many conflicts happened in our relationship.

As I continued to cultivate and study the Fa, I learned to look at more of the good, and less of the bad, in people. I gradually gave up attachments, and tried to treat my husband and his family with kindness. As a result, he no longer interfered with my Fa study.

When facing interference but unable to identify attachments, what I did was to choose Master and Dafa. After making the right choice to walk the right path, I found that the interference was reduced.

My work unit once put pressure on me about losing my job. I didn’t tell my husband because it would have made it harder for him to accept Dafa and receive salvation. However, my child heard about the discussion and questioned me about possibly losing my job. I explained to him, “I did not commit any crime by practicing Dafa and being a good person. Even if I lose my job, I will not bring you trouble. I can earn 2,500 yuan as a nanny to support myself.” My child stopped questioning me. When facing troubles, I believe that it is very important to let go of attachments to reduce interference and prevent family members and work leaders from committing wrongdoings against Dafa.

I went back to my hometown some time ago and was illegally searched at the train station. I felt a lot of pressure after hearing one of the police officers describe me as a key person under watch. I realized my strong attachment to fear. Nevertheless, I believed I could do well because I had my great Master.

Overcoming Serious Thought Karma with Master’s Blessing

I had always believed that the CCP’s persecution of Dafa and practitioners is the most difficult and severe challenge, but I failed to realize that the most challenging issues actually came from my own dimensional field, including those mutated materials and evil substances that I had fostered unintentionally for a long time.

Before practicing Falun Dafa, I formed a lot of thought karma without knowing that I was being controlled. Before learning Dafa, I often daydreamed about Snow White, Cinderella, or heroines and knights. After cultivating, I did not pay attention to eliminating these fanciful thoughts and continued to explore the contents of ordinary people’s novels, TV series, mobile phone videos, and so on. These formed a large amount of thought karma, to such a degree that I was unknowingly being controlled by the thought karma. Many chaotic emotions and lusts, with images of sound, light, and shadow, were replayed in my mind, and I was always trying to eliminate them. Even though I had not been reading novels or watching TV series for a long time, I continued to browse my mobile phone. My cultivation state was sometimes good and sometimes bad, and I felt very tired and distressed.

I recently discussed the issue with a fellow practitioner, who suggested that I give up dwelling on my mobile phone, uninstall shopping, video, and other apps, and focus on memorizing the Fa. I set my mobile phone aside, and began to recite the Fa, starting with “Your Main Consciousness Should Dominate” (Lecture Six, Zhuan Falun).

My change caused a strong reaction from a lot of mutated matter in my dimensional field. One night, I got up immediately after going to sleep because my mind was in a mess. I couldn’t lie down for a minute with my eyes closed. I knew the interference was not me, and I should send righteous thoughts to eliminate it. I put on headphones to listen to the Fa, and fell asleep in a daze. Upon waking up, I felt much better, but still sensed chaos. I was very afraid because I understood how mental illness comes about.

In the morning, I did the second Dafa exercise of “holding the wheel.” In one hour, my mind went through four sets of chaotic, vivid memories, from the workplace to the family, and then to the arguments with police, and so on. I discussed my situation with other practitioners and asked them to send righteous thoughts to help me. However, I couldn’t study the Fa, nor concentrate on sending righteous thoughts. I was unable to sleep all night for two or three nights, and even had doubts about my determination to send righteous thoughts. Lying in bed in serious pain one day, I kept saying in my mind, “Choose Master! choose Dafa!” Resisting the chaotic thoughts, I got up and sent righteous thoughts. In an instant, my mind became much purer, and I finally experienced the power of sending righteous thoughts. Sincerely, thanks to Master!

I identified many attachments, including zealotry, showing off, impatience, seeking comfort, wanting to escape, and pursuing profit, resentment, and influence from the CCP’s indoctrination. I sent righteous thoughts to eliminate the attachments so I could begin to study the Fa earnestly and memorize the Fa. I also identified my worries, affection for my child, fear, being self-opinionated, etc. I felt ashamed for letting Master worry so much.

I repeatedly studied the Fa to improve and truly distinguish myself from the old forces, thought karma, and other bad factors. Only by finding myself first could I eliminate the bad elements.

Master will definitely make the best arrangements for practitioners, so we can walk the right path of cultivation. I choose to go home with Master. I know that only compassionate Master can save me and will never give up on me.