Shifting My Mindset, I See Light at the End of the Tunnel

(Minghui.org) I began to practice Falun Dafa in 1997, and am 61 years old now. I’d like to share my experience of letting go of my fear and shifting my mindset while interacting with my husband.

My husband is a male chauvinist and we have to listen to him at all times. If he says that something is right, no one in my family, young or older, dares to argue. We have to listen to him, regardless if he is right or wrong. He was addicted to drinking alcohol, and went out to drink with his friends every other day. He always got drunk and came home finding fault with everything, cursing and beating people. So whenever he went out to drink, I became afraid that he would drink too much and nobody could reason with him. I had developed such a notion.

Once he went out to drink again. When it was about the time he came home in the evening, my heart became tense and I felt particularly scared and uncomfortable. I was afraid that he would come home making trouble again. I suddenly realized that I couldn’t continue like this. I had been cultivating my heart all these years regarding this issue. Despite certain improvement, I hadn’t found the root.

I calmed my heart and looked within. I asked myself who was uncomfortable and who was scared. Was that me? Of course not. It was my notion. I found out that I had indeed always been afraid of his drinking and consequently beating and cursing people. Wasn’t I asking for it? Why did he always behave like that? Because I didn’t cultivate away my notion and fear.

I suddenly understood that indeed my husband had been helping me to discover this attachment. However, instead of feeling thankful, I resented him. He was trying to help me to succeed and I should thank him. I immediately changed my notion. I thought that my husband had retired and that he didn’t have a hobby, such as playing mahjong or dancing. He was only fond of drinking and always felt happy when somebody invited him to drink together. I said to him in my heart, “I was wrong. I’m a Dafa practitioner and should cultivate to the realm of unselfishness. Going forward as long as you are happy, I am happy.”

After having this selfless thought, my husband changed. He no longer got drunk when he went out for a drink. Also few friends looked for him. Even when he occasionally went out to drink, he came home happy, talking and laughing.

From then on whenever my husband was not happy, I immediately looked within, and communicated with his knowing side and sincerely said, “I’m sorry. I have been slow in cultivating myself these days and you are here again to help identify my attachments. I thank you. I will take the initiative to cultivate myself going forward and you no longer need to worry about me. Keep your virtue and take care of your health. I wish you health and happiness. You are the best and the kindest.”

Master said,

“We have said that good or bad comes from a person’s initial thought, and the thought at that moment can bring about different consequences.” (Lecture Four, Zhuan Falun)

My husband has since become kind and doesn’t like to lose his temper any longer. He gets up every morning to mop the floor. He cleans the windows whenever it becomes dirty. He tidies up the home and cleans it. He washes all the clothes. He doesn’t let me wash clothes or mop the floor. I just need to cook him three meals a day. I thank Master and Dafa from the bottom of my heart for changing my husband into such a good person.

I will be Master’s true disciple, collaborate with practitioners to do the three things well, and return home with Master!