(Minghui.org)
Greetings, venerable Master.
Greetings, fellow practitioners.
I originally had no intention of writing anything for this conference. But through communicating with other practitioners, I realized that harmonizing the Fa conference and safeguarding the cultivation environment is the responsibility and obligation of a true Dafa disciple. Here, I’d like to reflect on and share about my cultivation from two aspects: passing family tests and supporting logistics for Shen Yun.
My husband and I are both practitioners and have been married for many years—an “old married couple” you might say. We’ve known each other since childhood, and I thought I knew him very well. However, due to not letting go of the attachment to money during a family dispute over finances, I felt deeply wronged. I felt like I had lived all these years only to make sacrifices for others. I suddenly realized how different we were, not only in personality, but in habits and even values. The lack of harmony in our life grew, and we became increasingly irritated with each other. Our relationship became awkward and cold.
One day two years before the pandemic, he told me he had changed jobs and in three or four days, he would be leaving home to work in another state for the next three years. I was stunned. Such a big change, and he hadn’t discussed it with me or even given me a heads-up. I felt anxious and under pressure, thinking I’d have to take care of the entire household alone. Meanwhile, he seemed delighted and completely indifferent to my feelings. My resentment deepened.
I knew something was wrong with my mindset. Master said in Teachings at the Conference in the Western U.S.:
“Yet as cultivators, we should have restraint and a calm mind. Do everything with a kind heart,” (Teachings at the Conference in the Western U.S.)
If, as a cultivator, my calm and peaceful mindset was gone, I had to quickly adjust myself and identify the attachments that had disrupted it. I settled down to study the Fa and reflect on myself. I discovered many attachments: dependence, worry, jealousy, laziness, fear of trouble, fear of loneliness ... so many of them! Wasn’t this the perfect opportunity to eliminate them? If I only focused on the negatives, wasn’t I being dominated by ordinary human notions? Everything has two sides. Why not focus on the positive aspects? I became determined to use this opportunity to elevate.
Once I adjusted my mindset, I began to enjoy the present. I enjoyed not only the peace and freedom, but also the difficulties and challenges. I enjoyed the feeling of being alone without support, and the minutia of managing a household. I became more independent, more capable, and also came to understand the hardship my husband had endured all these years in building a stable and comfortable home for us. Even though he was away, he still bore many family responsibilities through remote management.
I am deeply grateful because it was the guidance of Dafa that allowed me to adapt positively and peacefully to life’s changes and to try to approach everything with kindness.
In daily life my husband is quiet, while I enjoy sharing and feel that discussing understandings from the Fa and improving together should be common between cultivating couples. But the more I expected it, the more it didn’t happen, and it even caused conflicts. Actually, with the Fa and Master with me, why was I relying on external forces for motivation? Even if we’re both cultivators, I can’t use the Fa to demand things from him—cultivation is an individual journey.
I found that when I communicated with him calmly and without expectations, the results were better. When I didn’t get dragged into his emotions, conflicts quickly passed. If I find myself irritated by someone, maybe it’s me who needs to change and improve.
When the pandemic began, my husband returned and was working from home. When Shen Yun came to perform, I encouraged him to help in the kitchen team. He enjoys cooking, so once he got involved my biggest challenge was that I kept gaining weight.
In today’s world, yin outweighs yang, even among Dafa disciples. In our area, few male practitioners regularly participate in activities. To further encourage him I said, “I hope we can go back to how it was at the beginning of our cultivation—you leading in the front, with me and the kids following behind.” That was how a practitioner had once described us.
Given certain changes in the local environment, I’ve come to realize that I should adjust aspects of my cultivation. The strong-willed approach I’ve grown used to using may have inadvertently impacted fellow practitioners. The food team was also always understaffed. With approval of the Shen Yun coordination team, my husband confidently joined the food team.
But although I said I’d follow him, I couldn’t. I’d helped coordinate our local food logistics for many years and with help from Bay Area practitioners, I had witnessed the development of our kitchen team. Naturally, I started to position myself as an expert and mentor to him.
I often felt belittled and disrespected seeing my husband, a first-time kitchen volunteer, acting like a seasoned veteran. He often ignored or questioned my suggestions. “Really? How do you know?” or “Have you done it before?”—as if I were a novice.
He spoke in a commanding tone, and frequently said, “Don’t ask about things that aren’t your concern!” But when something went wrong or a tool was missing, I was the first one he blamed. I felt that I was working hard and doing my best to help him, yet received no acknowledgment in return. My competitive mentality and strong sense of pride were still quite prominent, so I was sensitive to others’ tone and attitude. As a result, I often felt that he had hurt my dignity, and I would respond unrelentingly, which in turn would hurt his feelings as well.
Others seemed to prefer consulting him rather than me. I heard more praise for him, while more advice was given to me. I wasn’t informed about certain meetings, making me feel “discarded” even though I hadn’t left. Amid exhaustion, stress, and conflict, I forgot to look within. I only saw his attachments—a desire for power, control, fame, and showing off. The first two years of Shen Yun kitchen logistics with him were tough tests for my xinxing. I even considered switching to car security team duties. I thought, “Why can’t I just be a humble little monk anywhere?” But in hindsight, I wasn’t aiming to be a little monk, whether I realized it or not, I was trying to take charge like an abbot.
I asked myself: Why can others quietly cooperate while I can’t? Am I just unwilling to be managed? Am I flaunting seniority? Do I think I’m special? Have cultivated better? More enlightened? Was I just fighting over right and wrong like an ordinary person? Did I truly want to cooperate for the good of Shen Yun and my fellow practitioners? Did I really look inward?
Master taught us,
“Do you realize that as long as you’re a cultivator, in any environment or under any circumstances, I will use any troubles or unpleasant things you come across—even if they involve work for Dafa, or no matter how good or sacred you think they are—to eliminate your attachments and expose your demon-nature so that it can be eliminated, for your improvement is what’s most important.” (“Further Understanding,” in Essentials for Further Advancement)
Honestly, fellow practitioners had gently hinted at my attachments, but I didn’t take them seriously. If I was criticized, I resented it and shut down. Master mercifully used the kitchen logistics opportunity to temper both of us and help us improve together.
Once I genuinely faced myself, accepted my imperfections, and resolved to change, everything improved. My husband’s “hunger for power” became him being responsible; his impatience showed his efficiency and pragmatism. His stubbornness meant he was cautious and thorough. Even his mistakes became understandable and forgivable. Moreover, I truly did see his hard work and dedication.
From finding a kitchen before the performance and making countless arrangements to personally handling many matters during the event, he not only had to coordinate many aspects inside and out, but also took on physical labor in the kitchen, handled procurement, prepared late-night meals, made meals for onsite staff, arranged food orders and deliveries, and so on. He was constantly on the move, barely getting a few hours of sleep each night.
Everyone saw it with their own eyes. It was clearly me who couldn’t keep up with his pace. At times I didn’t even understand the whole picture, yet I still pointed fingers with my self-righteous notions. Unlike other practitioners who were able to see his strengths, I kept focusing on his shortcomings. It must have been because I still harbored resentment deep within—the root hadn’t been fully removed.
I’ve come to realize that as long as we genuinely and unreservedly look within, we will gradually elevate ourselves. As we continued to work together, the conflicts between me and my husband began to lessen, while our coordination became more harmonious. I’m grateful to realize that our family members are actually powerful aids on our path of cultivation, helping us move forward more swiftly on the journey home. I’ve increasingly come to understand that the more I look inward, the more purified and elevated my heart and body become. The more I let go of fame, gain, and sentimentality, the more ease and grace I feel both inside and out. I’ve noticed that my rigidity and stubbornness are gradually dissolving, and with every bit of gentleness I cultivate, a corresponding strength arises.
Master taught us:
“Vessels freed of attachments quickly skim forth” (“Your Heart Should Know,” Hong Yin II).
I used to feel cultivation was exhausting because I was always carrying too many attachments. If we don’t let go of them, how can we feel light and free? That “false self” is exactly where the old forces operate—it’s their foothold. Removing it is denying their arrangements and purging them from us.
Kitchen logistics are like military supply lines. With Shen Yun’s rapid tour schedule, we often arrive early and leave late. As long as the performers are present, meals are needed, even without performances. The work is intense and fast-paced. We often work from 6 a.m. until after the evening show, with no time to eat or rest. The environment is poor—cramped, hot, noisy, with boiling water and sharp tools. Most of us aren’t professionals. Many are elderly female practitioners. By day’s end, backaches, fatigue, and bandaged hands are common.
Sometimes we cook outdoors in the cold or rain. Due to venue constraints, we sometimes move kitchens mid-performance—loading, unloading, and thoroughly cleaning every time. One female practitioner washed dishes and vegetables until the skin on her hands was badly damaged, but she wore gloves and finished the entire tour. A young female practitioner in charge of food purchasing skipped meals while sourcing fresh ingredients, then helped the car security team until 2 a.m. and was out shopping again at 7 a.m. Others would finish sending forth righteous thoughts at 3 a.m., do all five exercises, read a lecture, grab a quick breakfast, and begin kitchen duty at 7:30.
They not only prepared meals for Shen Yun performers but also for volunteer practitioners, sometimes as many as an entire Shen Yun troupe. When food ran short, they worked through their breaks to cook more—sometimes enduring complaints from a few practitioners. They often ate whatever was left over. But they were used to it, and nothing tasted better than the bitterness of hard work!
A new practitioner once said, “People say we’re helping Shen Yun, but I don’t dare say that. I feel it’s Shen Yun helping us—Master is giving us a chance to cultivate, elevate, and build mighty virtue.” I think her enlightenment is very deep.
Seeing their humility, sincerity, diligence, and grounded cultivation, I saw my own shortcomings. It is my blessing to assist Master in the Fa-rectification alongside such practitioners.
I believe the delicious food they lovingly prepared for Shen Yun performers was also tasted by Master’s Fashen. I once had a dream where I placed a bowl of delicacies on an outdoor table and bowed respectfully to invite Master to eat. When I raised my head, I saw Master finishing and about to turn and leave. That dream remains vivid and warm in my memory.
Our kitchens were rented. The landlords were often amazed and said, “Wow, you cleaned the kitchen even better than when we gave it to you!” Practitioners felt this was the true standard of Dafa disciples.
After watching Shen Yun with his whole family, a restaurant owner who had been sponsoring us doubled his food donations, from one big tray of each dish to two, as an expression of gratitude!
Time flies. Shen Yun 2026 promotion is about to begin. Despite the Chinese Communist Party’s unprecedented interference, Shen Yun continues to shine around the world, saving sentient beings. Let us reinvigorate ourselves, seize the boundless opportunity our compassionate and great Master has given us, cultivate well, be worthy of Master’s grace, assist him in Fa-rectification, and save more people!
Thank you, Master.Thank you, fellow practitioners.
(Selected article presented at the 2025 San Francisco Fa Conference)