(Minghui.org) Greetings, revered Master! Greetings, fellow practitioners!
I began practicing Falun Dafa in 2004 and came to the U.S. in 2005. I’ve been cultivating in an ordinary family environment ever since. I live with my son and his family, and my elderly parents live separately. In this setting, where we interact with family members every day, conflicts arise from time to time. The key to passing these tests lies in whether I can treat myself as a cultivator. Am I fulfilling my responsibilities and showing filial respect to my parents even though we don’t live together? Below is some sharing on my recent cultivation state.
The relationship between my daughter-in-law and me was initially good, because she resembles how I looked when I was young. I am not the only one who thinks so, but others who don’t know us say the same, so I treated her as though she was my daughter.
However, over time, conflicts arose. I disliked some of her habits. Although we didn’t argue, I felt hatred and resentment and it was obvious she had an attitude of hitting back. This went on for some time until one day my son noticed it and said, “It seems you have conflicts, just talk about it.” I criticized her for being selfish — not eating leftover food, avoiding chores, not cleaning the floor, and so on. My son responded, “Why do you care? She doesn’t make you eat what she doesn’t eat, nor does she force you to do the dirty work. Why do you insist that others do things your way?” I reflected and realized my dislike was deeply buried and manifested as resentment and blaming.
Isn’t harboring hatred and resentment in line with the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) culture? How could this be? As a cultivator, I should be considerate, so I tried to see things from her perspective. She doesn’t have it easy — she has to work, pick up the children, handle the housework, and oversee the children’s homework. It’s quite stressful. I should try to help as much as I can — that’s cooperation. This role reversal helped me let go of my dissatisfaction and care more about her.
I recently noticed her mental state wasn’t good. I asked if she was feeling unwell. She said she had been having trouble sleeping, was easily fatigued, and sometimes her heart raced. I suspected these were post-COVID-19 symptoms, so I bought some nutrient supplements to help her recover. After taking them, she said she slept better and thanked me. Seeing her improve, I kept buying the supplements. I also bought skincare products for her recently, returning to my original attitude of treating her like a daughter.
Because our relationship improved, we talked more. I showed her videos of the Tian Guo Marching Band participating in the Fourth of July parade in Los Angeles and the photos of the trophy we won, sharing that the Falun Dafa parade procession was very well received and that 500,000 people watched. I also showed her photos from an event held in Washington DC to protest the CCP’s persecution and explained why I participated.
It’s different when dealing with children versus adults in family relationships. I try to spend time playing with my grandchildren, buy them presents, or take them out to eat to build a good relationship.
I remember once asking one of my grandsons something, and he completely ignored me. I told my son about it, and he said, “Well, maybe you should reflect on yourself. Why doesn’t he respond to you? It’s because you haven’t really been connecting with him. You just do your own thing in your free time without spending more time with the children. On holidays or their birthdays, you just give them money and that’s it. That is not enough. Why do they laugh and talk so much with their other grandparents? It’s because they spend time with them and communicate.” I reflected on this. Yes, building harmony in the family is also part of saving them, so I made a plan to be more involved—spending more time with the kids, taking them out to eat or have fun, and building a warm relationship.
With this change, my son recently said to me, “Mom, you’ve changed. Not just me, but your daughter-in-law and the kids said so, too.” I knew Master was encouraging me.
A while ago, both my grandsons had high fevers that lasted over a week. They would get better but then became worse. I thought they’d get better quickly after taking some medicine but they didn’t. My son and daughter-in-law were worried. I told them, “Don’t be afraid. Just sincerely say, ‘Falun Dafa is good, Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good.’” I taught my grandsons to say it, one word at a time. I later asked my son to continue helping them recite the phrases. He agreed, and the next day the children improved. By the third day, they fully recovered. When the family relationship is harmonious, they’re willing to follow my suggestions at critical moments.
For a long time, I relied on my siblings to take care of our elderly parents. I only visited or called on holidays and birthdays, thinking it was enough since others were taking care of them— and this way, I’d have more time to clarify the truth.
My younger sister was really upset with me one day and said, “You never care about Mom and Dad. You’re always out doing your own thing. Have you taken responsibility for your family at all?” Her words hit me like a wake-up call. I immediately thought of Master’s teaching:
“For a cultivator, looking within is a magical tool.” (“Fa Teaching Given at the 2009 Washington, D.C. International Fa Conference,” Collected Teachings Given Around the World, Volume IX)
I quickly looked inward and found I had the attachments of dependence, selfishness, fear of trouble, doing things for the sake of doing them, an attachment to how many people I could persuade to quit the CCP, and lack of filial piety. Once I identified these issues, I started correcting them through my actions. I made time to visit my parents, bought them their favorite foods, was concerned about their health, and accompanied them to the doctor, taking on some responsibility and showing filial piety.
When I visited my parents, I brought a copy of The Epoch Times and clarified the truth to them. My dad hadn’t quit the CCP yet. At first, he’d say, “I don’t want to read that—it’s always criticizing the Party.” I told him, “This is a paper that dares to tell the truth.” I’d then gently explained about Falun Dafa. Each time I visited, I brought a paper and shared some more. His resistance slowly faded. He began reading the paper right away. When the Wang Lijun incident came out, he followed the reports closely and even started getting the paper from the mailbox himself. He said, “Wow, the CCP has so many corrupt officials—it’s never-ending.”
I felt the time was right, so I fully explained to him how the CCP persecutes Falun Dafa. He listened attentively. The next time I visited, he said right away, “Help me quit the Youth League.” He then cried, saying, “China is beyond saving! There are so many corrupt officials.” I told him, “It’s not that China is beyond saving. It’s the CCP that’s beyond saving. China is not equal to the CCP.”
On my next visit, I asked if he wanted to read Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party. He said yes. I brought it to him. He later also read Zhuan Falun.
I recently told him to sincerely recite the two phrases, “Falun Dafa is good, Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good.” He agreed. Once, when he wasn’t feeling well, I reminded him to recite it. He didn’t say anything at first, so I said it louder. He replied, “I heard you—I’m reciting it in my heart.” I said, “Great!” and gave him a thumbs-up. I truly feel that through letting go of my dependence on others and fulfilling my responsibilities, I’ve seen changes I never expected.
In the limited time left in my cultivation journey I will make the most of every moment to study the Fa well, let go of attachments, improve myself, and save more people. I will not let down Master’s compassionate salvation and I will follow Master home.
These are some of my cultivation experiences. If anything is not in line with the Fa, I kindly ask fellow practitioners to point it out.
Thank you, Master! Thank you, fellow practitioners!