I Finally Learned How to Cultivate and Eliminate My Attachments

(Minghui.org) I first heard of Falun Dafa in the summer of 1999. I was watching the news on a cruise ship from Dalian to Tianjin on a company organized trip. What I saw was the Chinese Communist Party’s (CCP) propaganda—its slander and lies about Falun Dafa. Because I was a CCP member I completely believed it at the time.

My husband started practicing Dafa in 2005. When he told me about the Fa (teachings) I felt fear and resistance deep within, and rejected what he said. He repeatedly brought it up and urged me to read Master’s lectures, but I was indifferent. I observed his every move to see if Falun Dafa was as bad as the CCP claimed. I gradually noticed that we had fewer conflicts. He did more household chores, and he considered issues from my perspective.

I sometimes deliberately acted badly and waited to see if his face turned red or his eyes filled with anger. I thought, “Let’s see how you lash out.” But all I saw was his temper gradually calming down, while tears welled up in his eyes. After I noticed his gradual changes I finally wished to learn about Falun Dafa.

It was not until 2008 that I read Zhuan Falun. When I opened the book I saw Master’s photo and compassionate smile. I learned that Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is the characteristic of the universe and the only standard for judging if someone is good or bad. I learned how to be a good person. I realized that Zhuan Falun is a precious book that teaches people how to cultivate. I realized that my previous understanding of Falun Dafa was completely wrong!

Because my enlightenment quality was poor and I didn’t know how to cultivate, I studied the Fa when I had time or when I felt like it, but I didn’t truly understand the Fa. I also worked part-time for the CCP at the time. I was constantly busy with work, and viewed and thought about things with my preconceived notions. I seldom did the exercises.

I simply knew that Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is the standard for judging right and wrong, but I didn’t strictly apply it to what I said and did. With this attitude my xinxing never improved. Even though I read the Fa for more than ten years, I still hadn’t truly attained the Fa.

After I retired in 2020 I spent more time studying the Fa and doing the exercises. However, the Fa still didn’t enter my heart. I often thought about other things when I read the Fa. This state continued for more than two years. In 2023, I began to read other practitioners’ experience-sharing articles on Minghui.org. At first, I thought it was amazing—Dafa practitioners experienced so many miracles. Why didn’t I experience any?

During a conversation with my husband, he said, “You need to read Master’s Fa lectures more often. When reading fellow practitioners’ sharing articles you should try to understand what kind of attachment they found in themselves, are cultivating away or trying to eliminate, and how they are eliminating it. Then compare it with your own experiences. Only then can you improve.”

By reading Zhuan Falun and Master’s lectures given in various areas I began to gradually understand some of the Fa principles. From reading fellow practitioners’ articles, I saw things I hadn’t been able to see, and I discovered various human attachments in myself. I began to cultivate myself. I realized that cultivation isn’t something you can achieve simply by talking about it, nor is it simply about being a good person among ordinary people. To truly improve, you must cultivate your xinxing.

Digging Out the Attachment to Self Interest

Before I began practicing Falun Dafa I was an honest and trustworthy person and I didn’t care much about money. For example, I went to a savings bank one day to withdraw money for my company. The clerk was rather rude, and she gave me an extra one hundred yuan by mistake. I was very upset with her attitude, but I knew I couldn’t take the extra money. I told her, “You gave me one hundred yuan too much.” She counted it again and realized she gave me one hundred yuan too much. The monthly salary at the time was only three or four hundred yuan. She blushed and thanked me.

Another time I was helping a friend work at the counter selling jeans. A woman bought a pair of pants for sixty yuan and quickly pulled out six hundred-yuan bills, and handed them to me. She did not notice the mistake. I immediately returned the money to her. She was stunned and thanked me profusely.

After I began practicing I thought I would be even more indifferent to material gain. However, I had a dream that showed this was not the case. In the dream, I came to a big tree. At the base of the tree was a large hole filled with gleaming coins. I crawled into the hole and kept picking up coins. The more coins I picked up, the happier I was. Fearing I wouldn’t be able to get them all I stretched out my arms and scooped them up with all my might. In the dream, I could feel my eagerness and greed. After I woke up the vivid scenes from the dream replayed before my eyes, and I realized I had an attachment to material gain hidden deep inside.

I wondered where was this occurring in my life? Then, as I read other practitioners’ sharing articles, what they talked about seemed to reflect my attachments. I was frugal in my daily life and used money wisely. Although my salary wasn’t high I had a good life. I felt good about myself. Didn’t this mean I was self-righteous? When I saw something I liked on sale, I always wanted to buy more, sometimes more than I could carry. Wasn’t this greed? During the COVID pandemic fearing food shortages and rising prices, I bought more rice, noodles, oil, and meat than I could use. I ended up not being able to eat everything and the food eventually became infested with bugs. Wasn’t this an attachment to profit? It turns out that one must look inward at every thought, word, and action, and cultivate according to the Fa. Only by truly cultivating can one discover one’s shortcomings and improve one’s xinxing. Master said:“The issue of cultivation is not child’s play, and neither is it a technique of everyday people—it is a very serious matter. Whether you want to cultivate or are able to cultivate depends completely upon how your xinxing is improved.” (Lecture Two, Zhuan Falun)

Uncovering Resentment and Eliminating Attachments

My mother-in-law passed away 16 years ago. For a few years after she died we three siblings and our families took turns caring for my father-in-law. Although my husband is the youngest, my father-in-law stayed with us most of the time because we hold ourselves to the standard of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance and always thought about things from his perspective. We did our best to take care of him when he stayed with us.

After the 2022 pandemic, my sister-in-law and brother-in-law refused to take care of him. They wanted to rent an apartment for him and hire a caretaker for him so he could live alone. They thought he was too selfish, stubborn, and unreasonable to live with. My husband and I told him, “Just stay with us. This is your home.”

I didn’t mind taking care of him. I tried to consider his feelings—I gave him the best food, and took good care of him. The old man often acted strangely but I was able to handle it calmly. We lived together harmoniously.

One day after the mid-autumn festival in 2024, my father-in-law inexplicably sent a message in the WeChat “Family” group: “Children, I’m old. I don’t want to move around anymore. I want to stay in one place. Which of you can take me in?” My husband and I were confused. The word “take me in” jarred us, and my human attachment was stirred. Weren’t we taking good care of him? If he was unhappy why didn’t he tell us?

My father-in-law had everything he needed at our house. He did nothing. I boiled water so he could soak his feet. We turned on the TV to the channel he liked, while my husband and I went to another room to study the Fa and practice the exercises. We turned the TV off when he went to sleep. There were only three things he did on his own: eating, sleeping, and going to the bathroom. Because we are practitioners, we did not think much about it; we just took good care of him.

I wondered why my father-in-law sent such a message. What was going on? My heart began to churn. For days, I felt like my stomach was bloated; I didn’t want to talk to him; and just seeing him made me feel irritated. Past events that puzzled me began to replay in my mind. I knew my xinxing no longer met the standard for a cultivator, but I still felt so wronged. I wanted to find a place to vent. I wanted to argue with my father-in-law and settle the matter.

Resentment, jealousy, and a fighting spirit ignited within me. I was angry that my father-in-law wasn’t fair, and only cared about himself. I resented my sister-in-law and brother-in-law for not being filial. They did not care for their parents, and instead came with a long list of excuses. I thought: I haven’t spent a single day taking care of my own father, who was the same age as my father-in-law. The more I thought about it, the angrier I got.

A few days later, I read this section in Zhuan Falun, “Why Doesn’t Your Gong Increase with Your Practice?” I blushed when I came across the following passage:

“What is xinxing? It includes de (a type of matter), tolerance, enlightenment quality, sacrifice, giving up everyday people’s different desires and attachments, being able to suffer hardships, and so on. It encompasses various things. Every aspect of xinxing must be improved for you to make real progress.” (Lecture One in Zhuan Falun)

I thought: “Isn’t this referring to me?” I suddenly realized that Master was helping me to improve my xinxing through the words and actions of my father-in-law, my sister-in-law, and my brother-in-law. As a cultivator, I should hold myself to higher standards. How could I be on the same level and argue about who was right or wrong with them? They were helping me, and I should be grateful! How can I improve if I only look outward, and look at what others are doing wrong? My thoughts suddenly brightened, and all my worries were gone.

Through Fa study and conversations with my husband, I uncovered some human attachments in myself such as resentment, contention, and feeling upset. I knew I had to let go of these attachments because I’m a cultivator! I was able to let go of these attachments once I seriously analyzed them. I’m sincerely grateful to my father-in-law, my sister-in-law, and my brother-in-law for helping me elevate my xinxing. I resumed taking good care of my father-in-law.

I now realize that the tribulations I encountered were a manifestation of my cultivation at this level. There may be more tests, to see if I’ve completely let go of human attachments. I also realized that in today’s world, cultivators are being tested with fame, wealth, and emotions, as well as all kinds of deviant thoughts and behaviors. The only standard for measuring whether we can truly cultivate is Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance, and the Fa taught by Master. Only by using Dafa as our guide, looking inward, eliminating all human attachments, and truly cultivating, can our xinxing improve.