(Minghui.org) I practice Falun Dafa and live in the countryside. I’ve wanted to write about my cultivation experiences, but I never managed to. I cannot write many Chinese words because I did not receive much schooling. Now with the help of fellow practitioners, I am writing down how Dafa resolved the conflict between my mother-in-law and me.
I married my husband when I was 25. He had three younger brothers, and there were nine people in our family. As the Chinese saying goes, “Mother-in-laws and daughter-in-laws are natural enemies.” With such a big family, small clashes were an everyday thing. I won’t mention the minor issues, but what hurt me the most was how my mother-in-law deceived me.
My husband and I built a house near my parents’ home six months after we married, and we moved out of my in-laws’ house. A few years later, my mother-in-law came to visit us, liked the place, and said, “I want to live here.” I thought she was joking, but she said, “No, really, I like your place.”
I responded, “If you truly want to move here, the whole family needs to hold a meeting to hear the opinions of the other brothers. Otherwise, they might think we’re taking advantage of you.”
We consulted my husband’s brothers, and they all agreed that they would rather give money than have to care for their parents in their homes. My child often asked me, “Why can’t grandpa and grandma come live with us?” I didn’t have a good answer, so in the end, I agreed.
My mother-in-law told me, “Your family farms the land but doesn’t even have a cow. We have a cart, a cow, a stone mill, and other things. I’ll bring them so we can all use them. That way, you won’t have to buy them, and it’ll save you a lot of money.” Tempted by the practical benefits, I agreed for my in-laws to move in. But just days before the move, I heard my father-in-law say that my mother-in-law sold the cow, cart, stone mill, and the other things. I also heard her say, “If I bring everything over, what if the second and third sons complain, saying I favor the eldest [my husband]?”
After hearing this, I confronted my mother-in-law directly. But she flatly denied it, saying she never said that, and told me to wait until the move to see for myself. I believed her. But once they moved in I learned the truth: she deceived me. The cow, cart, and stone mill never came. This truly broke my heart. From then on, I treated her like an enemy. Even just looking at her made me feel upset for days. But since we lived in the same courtyard, we had to see each other every day. It was really hard!
My health was already poor. I often had headaches and issues with my spine, but the worst was rheumatism. In summer, I had to wear a cotton hat, padded jacket, and padded pants. Adding the “deception” by my mother-in-law on top of that, I nearly collapsed. I resented my husband for not standing up for me. I was mad at myself for marrying into such a family. Sometimes I thought, “If you won’t let me live well, I won’t let you live well either. Let’s all just not live at all.”
My mother-in-law visited her second son’s family in March 1999. His wife practiced Falun Dafa. Hearing that I was ill, she gave my mother-in-law the book Zhuan Falun. She asked her to bring to me and tell me to read it, saying it could resolve illnesses. She also said her own sickness disappeared after she started practicing.
When I heard that, I immediately refused, saying, “How could reading a book take away illnesses? Even the hospital can’t cure mine. Can a book do it? I won’t read it.”
My husband chimed in, saying, “Why not take a look? It won’t hurt you if it doesn’t work, and it won’t cost you anything.” I thought that made sense, so I said I’d take a look.
I brought the book home, sat on the bed, and began reading. After a few pages, I felt good and kept flipping through more pages. I read what Master said,
“... even less should our cultivators be like this, as a cultivator should follow the course of nature. If something is yours, you will not lose it. If something is not yours, you will not have it even if you fight for it.” (Lecture Seven, Zhuan Falun)
Wasn’t this speaking directly to me? My mother-in-law sold the valuable things, and only brought the useless stuff. Perhaps those valuable things weren’t supposed to be mine. When I had this thought, it was as if a heavy weight had been lifted from my chest. I no longer felt as stifled as before. I thought, “I won’t fight against my mother-in-law anymore. She’s already old, I should treat her better.” After that, I read the book every day. The more I read, the more I loved reading. It was simply impossible to put down.
One morning after I got up, my husband asked me, “For several nights now, you haven’t used a quilt. Aren’t you cold?” I told him that I did use a quilt. He said, “You’ve been kicking it off to the side. Aren’t you afraid of the cold?” I was startled and told him that I didn’t know. I suddenly realized, I had no more pain anywhere. My headaches were gone, my spine didn’t hurt, my rheumatism was gone. I wasn’t afraid of the cold anymore, and my whole body felt warm. I felt so light—never in my life had I felt so comfortable. And it was only after two days, without reading much, yet Master removed all my illnesses. It was miraculous.
Seeing that my illnesses were gone after I practiced Falun Dafa, my mother-in-law also began to practice. We studied the Fa and did the exercises together, encouraged each other, and advanced diligently in cultivation. Our conflict naturally dissolved, and I no longer resented her. Last year, when my father-in-law fell ill, I stayed at their home all winter to take care of him, and I lived in harmony with my mother-in-law.
Now my mother-in-law is over 80 years old. I care for her attentively and look after her. The neighbors all say, “Your family gets along so well. We’ve never heard of any conflict in your household.”
Dafa transformed me, from someone who valued personal gain and resented my mother-in-law when I didn’t get what I wanted, into someone who is considerate of others and cares about people.