Developing Compassion for My Mother

(Minghui.org) Looking at my sick mother, I thought of all the advice and reminders I gave her that she never listened to. Thinking about the things she did to me I felt disappointed, and was filled with complaints and grievances. I thought: “Forget it. I’ll just treat her as an ordinary person and only fulfill my filial responsibilities. The rest will follow naturally.” But while I was taking care of her, my resentment was obvious and added even more hardship to her condition.

My mother said to me in a complaining tone, “[Practitioner] Feng asked how come you still haven’t received retribution?”

I was exceptionally calm after she said this. I didn’t feel the slightest resentment toward Feng. I knew it must have been my mother who complained to her about my shortcomings, which was why Feng said that. I knew that once practitioners improved through Fa study, they would not handle conflicts among practitioners with human notions—this is part of the cultivation process. I also deeply realized the seriousness and difficulty of cultivation, and why Master requires us to truly cultivate kindness and compassion. It was because of my long-standing shortcomings that I hadn’t removed that made Feng want to help me and my mother. It might also be that Feng had something she needed to improve on in this area. I saw that I created karma for my mother and Feng.

Looking at my mother I suddenly felt compassion. She had once been beautiful, graceful, and admired by others, but illness-karma ravaged her body to this state. My heart ached. Apart from compassion and sympathy, I only wanted to help her sincerely from my heart. I no longer felt any of the blame or resentment toward her. My only thought was: “Mom, I truly hope you can break through these tribulations, elevate yourself, and together we can return to our heavenly home.”

At that moment, all the resentment I had for decades toward her, for the harm she caused me, dissolved.

Over the years, I worked hard to completely remove my resentment toward my mother. Again and again, little by little, I tried to cultivate it away. Sometimes, because this resentment seemed impossible to uproot, I fell into despair. It was Master who repeatedly gave me hints and encouragement.

A few days ago, the substance of resentment toward my mother strongly surfaced again in my mind. I thought, “Why can’t I ever pass this test? Why is it endless? After so many years, how can it still so easily control my thoughts? Where exactly is my loophole?” Suddenly, I remembered reading a practitioner’s sharing a few days earlier. The gist was that during the Fa-rectification period, practitioners must put validating the Fa and saving sentient beings above all else.

That’s right! I am a Falun Dafa practitioner in the Fa-rectification period. Everything must be for validating the Fa and saving sentient beings. This resentment is clearly interference and persecution imposed on me by the old forces. It wants to ruin me, ruin my mother, and even ruin the sentient beings we are responsible for. I do not acknowledge it. I’ll immediately eliminate it. I must forge ahead diligently on the cultivation path Master arranged for me. When I had this realization my body trembled, and I felt my righteous thoughts grow stronger. My entire dimensional field lit up. From then on, whether sending righteous thoughts to clear away those degenerate substances, or when I read the Fa study and did the exercises, that evil substance of resentment toward my mother no longer appeared in my dimensional field.

When my mother talked about me receiving retribution, as compassion welled up in me, I clearly felt that Master removed the sentimental layer of substances and elements that corresponded to that attachment. The grievances between my mother and me, which spanned decades, were finally and completely resolved, and the root was eradicated. Facing my mother now, I no longer had the thought of wanting to change her, nor did I have feelings of looking down on or disliking her. I also realized that I needed to change my long-formed habit of speaking to her harshly. I only wanted to help her walk through this tribulation with kindness and filial devotion. Suddenly, I felt that I cherished my mother so dearly. It wasn’t sentimentality, nor was it forcing myself to be good to her—it was simply a calm, peaceful state of mind, cherishing her just as I cherished the sentient beings waiting for me to save them.

The process of removing resentment toward my mother was extremely difficult. Again and again, I worked at it, yet it persisted. Because I understood that during the Fa-rectification period, practitioners must put validating the Fa and saving sentient beings first, I was able to break through the old forces’ arrangement. Compassionate Master removed the substance of resentment and its root—sentiment. The feeling of no longer carrying resentment is truly transcendent and wonderful. I am grateful for Master’s compassionate protection and guidance.

I hope this article can help other practitioners who, like me, had difficulty removing a certain attachment for a long time. They might also reflect from the perspective of cultivation, and look to see what fundamental attachment is nourishing the root of that attachment. Please kindly point out anything inappropriate in this sharing.