(Minghui.org) Greetings, Master! Greetings, fellow practitioners around the world!
I’m 80 years old. Before I began practicing Dafa, I was hot-tempered, shrewish, domineering, and unforgiving. I lacked any of the gentle qualities traditionally associated with women. I was the “strong woman” favored by the Chinese Communist Party (CCP). Because I was always in a bad mood, I was plagued by all sorts of sicknesses, and I suffered immensely. Not long after I began practicing Dafa, my ailments vanished, and my temper mellowed. I truly came to experience the joy of being completely free of illness, and I felt light all over. Master has endured so much for us and has poured so much heart and effort into guiding us. It is our compassionate and great Master who pulled me from hell, cleansed me, and gave me a new life. I am deeply grateful to Master and to Dafa!
On this excellent opportunity at the 23rd China Fahui, I’d like to share some of my recent cultivation experiences with Master and practitioners. Please kindly point out anything I wrote that is not in line with the Fa.
My Realizations
My husband doesn’t practice Dafa. He’s 85 years old and is in poor health. Our children live far from us, so I take care of him. Sometimes I couldn’t control myself, and I complained when his words and deeds didn’t comply with my wishes. I nagged endlessly about what happened eight or ten years ago. I kept complaining about his shortcomings, his lack of hygiene, and how he peed in the chamber pot in the bedroom during the day. I said he was cold-blooded and slow and wouldn’t worry even if the house caught on fire. He did not care about me, etc. I even recounted the bad things that he did before I began practicing Falun Dafa. Because I didn’t study the Fa well and I couldn’t keep up with Fa-rectification, I always handled the conflicts between us poorly.
One evening, when I was studying the Fa, I read what Master said,
“In cultivation, there may be two scenarios when dealing with specific conflicts or when others treat you badly. One is that you might have treated this person badly in your previous life. You feel in your heart that it is unfair, “How can this person treat me like this?” Then why did you treat this person that way in the past? You might claim that you actually did not know it at that time, and this lifetime has nothing to do with another lifetime, but that won’t do. There is another issue. In conflicts, the issue of transforming karma is involved. Therefore, when actually dealing with conflicts we should take the high road instead of acting like everyday people. ” (Lecture Four, Zhuan Falun)
I realized that everything I experienced was due to a debt I owed my husband in a previous lifetime, and this is how I was paying it off. I understood how, as a practitioner, I should behave. I decided to take good care of my husband and stop complaining because a cultivator should be kind to everyone. I also realized that women should be gentle and kind, which are traditional Chinese virtues and also a requirement for cultivators. A domineering woman who only wants to change others but not herself is someone who is deeply poisoned by the CCP culture. I must let go of this culture and mindset I accumulated over the years.
I got up early every morning and emptied his chamber pot, and I prepared three meals each day to his taste. I no longer complained when he didn’t do things that weren’t to my preference—instead, I used it as an opportunity to cultivate my character. Now my husband is content and cheerful all day, and his health has noticeably improved.
Let Go of Resentment
Both of my arms suddenly swelled up in July, and I could neither bend nor lift them. They were painful and unbearably itchy, which hindered me from studying the Fa, sending forth righteous thoughts and clarifying the truth about Falun Dafa to people. I wondered, “What’s wrong?” Regardless, I’m only guided by Master and I would correct myself in Dafa if I have any shortcomings. I sat down, crossed my legs, and began sending forth righteous thoughts. I asked Master to help me. I said that I’m a Fa-rectification period practitioner, that I’m Master Li Hongzhi’s student. I will correct myself even if I have a loophole in my cultivation, and I absolutely will not allow the old forces to use any pretense to persecute me. I declared that I would endure if it’s Master’s arrangement, but if it’s imposed by the old forces, I reject it, I do not recognize it, and I will eliminate it. I recited the Fa-rectification verse that Master taught us.
Next, I looked within and dug deeper. I discovered that my resentment towards my husband had resurfaced. I was grumbling to myself about his shortcomings a few days ago. Although I didn’t say it, that was still unacceptable because it showed that I hadn’t completely let go of my resentment towards him. Gods and Buddhas can clearly see every single thought, and the old forces are also watching us like a hawk. Cultivation is a very serious matter. Having identified this deeply hidden resentment, I immediately brought it out into the open. I asked Master to help me-I don’t want this, and I’m determined to eliminate it completely.
My arms soon recovered. Looking within is truly wonderful; it is a real magic tool. Thank you, Master, for always watching over me! I’m deeply grateful for Master’s grace in saving me!
I will cherish this opportunity, this sacred bond, all the more, as it comes once in ages. In the limited time that remains, I will earnestly cultivate myself, look within, and do the three things well.
Thank you, Master, for your compassionate salvation! Thank you, fellow practitioners, for your unselfish help!
(Selected submission for the 23rd China Fa Conference on Minghui.org)
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