China Fahui | My Cultivation Journey While Claiming My Pension

(Minghui.org) After I returned home after being illegally detained for more than three years, I found I’d missed the deadline to apply for my retirement.

I kept debating whether I should apply for retirement and claim my pension. The whole experience was a process of cultivation. Here are the details.

Avoiding Difficulties

I had a very good job, but due to the persecution, I was dismissed by my employer in 2007. For more than 10 years I had no source of income. I went to several of my former managers in the company I’d worked for to tell them about Falun Dafa and the persecution. Although they expressed their sincere sympathy for my plight after hearing the facts, they seemed unable to help me in the face of pressure from their superiors and the persecution environment in China.

Based on my past experiences, along with with my recent release from prison and from what I’d read on Minghui.org, I knew full well of the hardships practitioners face in recovering their retirement pensions—including a fellow practitioner in my area whose situation was similar to mine. Accompanied by her family, she’d driven hundreds of miles to the provincial-level authority to report her situation, only to receive a very small monthly living allowance. Since everything I saw and heard was about the hardships involved, I developed a large mental obstacle.

To circumvent the financial difficulties I faced, I tried several times to find temporary work, but without success. Looking back, I realized it was because I did not act in accordance with the Fa (the teachings of Falun Dafa).

Because my family members all work, I have to take care of my grandson, cook, and do housework every day. Not only do I have little time to study the Fa, I also can’t calm my mind. However, if my thoughts are not on the Fa and I don’t have righteous thoughts, I won’t have wisdom. Several times I thought of going to my workplace to apply for my retirement and pension, but all sorts of human attachments and preconceived notions kept churning up, and I always procrastinated, choosing to compromise. Taking this first step was very difficult.

Finding the Underlying Causes of Persecution

I know that righteous thoughts come from the Fa. I calmed my mind and after I quietly studied the Fa and I realized that I never rationally and clearly considered the deeper reasons why I lost my job. I only thought that it was due to this vicious persecution, and that my superiors cooperated with the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) to push me out of the company in order to protect themselves. However, cultivators cannot only look at the surface; we must look within themselves.

When the CCP’s persecution first began in 1999, my workplace asked me to choose between my faith and my CCP membership. Without hesitation, I chose Falun Dafa, and my workplace used this as grounds to expel me from the Party. At that time, I was also attached to the Fa-rectification period and didn’t want to face the repeated harassment from my workplace. Under the dual pressure of work and mental strain, I had thoughts of “persisting in my faith and giving up my job,” mistakenly believing at the time that I was very steadfast in my faith. This impure thought was exploited by the old forces, and I really lost my job.

This not only brought difficulties to my own life but also had a negative impact on those around me. In fact, when I was working, many people understood the truth and chose to withdraw from the CCP and its affiliated organizations. After I lost my job, they thought that since I practiced Falun Dafa, I didn’t even care about work anymore. So they began to keep their distance from me.

Fortunately, the Fa-rectification is not over yet, and I still had the opportunity to make amends for my mistakes. In the process of constantly looking inward and eliminating human attachments, my righteous thoughts were strengthened. I decided to go to my workplace to handle my retirement and pension.

Letting Go of Resentment Towards My Husband

When my husband was home one day, I changed my clothes to go out. Before I left the house, he asked me, “Where are you going?”

I replied, “To my workplace to talk about retirement.”

He immediately got angry, “You still have the nerve to go to your workplace? Someone like you thinks you can retire normally with pension? Is that even possible? You really don’t know your place.”

I looked at him calmly and said, “You watch the kids for a bit. I’ll be right back.”

As I stepped out of my house, I thought about our past. We used to be a well-off family. After I lost my job, my husband covered all the household expenses. He was always frugal and endured a lot. Now that I’ve returned from my wrongful imprisonment, my husband, who had always supported my cultivation, is cold and sarcastic towards me. And he became very controlling of our finances. If I was away for a long time, he would get angry when I returned. Most of the time I could endure it, but my mindset was always like: I was right, he was wrong. I often felt resentment—I thought he was a bad person, that he controlled me financially, and that he belittled me in front of our relatives and friends; that he didn’t offer help when I was in my most difficult time, but instead added insult to injury. All I could think about was his faults. But this is wrong: I’ve been cultivating for almost 30 years, yet I’m comparing myself to an everyday person, using human notions to argue about who’s right and who’s wrong. This isn’t correct.

Over the years, my husband has stood by me through thick and thin. He has always believed in Master’s uprightness and the righteousness of Falun Dafa, especially in the years since the persecution began. He accompanied me to distribute truth-clarification DVDs and post truth-clarification stickers. One stormy night, he braved heavy rain to go out alone and remove a display board that slandered Dafa. During my illegal detention, he protected our home and silently endured the suffering. He shed tears of heartache when the persecution was at its worst. Back then, the environment was terrifying, and he dared to risk everything to accompany me in doing things to validate the Fa. Thinking about it now, I am still deeply moved.

The Truth Rectifies People’s Hearts

I soon arrived at the gate of my workplace. This was the place I had worked and lived for 28 years, a place I hadn’t been to for over 10 years. Before the persecution began, I deeply loved my job and everything about this place. After the persecution started, faced with unreasonable harm and the constant harassment of being ordered to sign documents and write guarantees to renounce my belief, I began to feel resistance and confused about this place. Although everyone knew we practitioners were good people, under the terrifying environment created by the vicious CCP at the time, many people were driven by self-interest and chose to cooperate with the CCP in persecuting Dafa and Dafa practitioners.

After registering at the gate, I went to the office. The director was a former colleague I knew well, and his coldness surprised me.

He casually asked, “What’s up?”

I said, “It’s about my retirement.”

He asked, puzzled, “You haven’t worked for so many years. What do you have to do with the company? Why are you applying for retirement?”

I replied, “The reason I haven’t worked for so many years isn’t due to my work mistakes, but because of this irrational persecution, and you know that. I’ve spoken to all of my previous managers except the current one, and none of them said I had no connection with the company. We started working together, and I have nearly 30 years of service; you can testify to that. Besides, when I was working, a portion of my pension insurance was deducted from my salary. You can’t just wipe that away with a single swipe.”

My calm words carried a hint of authority. At this moment, he seemed to come to his senses and stared blankly at me, saying, “That’s not what I meant. I just don’t know what to do about this.”

I smiled and said, “I understand that. Could you help me and ask around?”

He quickly replied, “Okay, I can ask my superiors for instructions.”

Eliminating the Fear of Superiors

As I walked out of the office and was about to go downstairs, I ran into another former female colleague. She was very helpful when she heard I was there to discuss retirement. I briefly explained what happened, and she said, “You can’t just go to him about this; you have to go directly to the higher officials. The person in charge is called Hao Ming (pseudonym).” She gave me both her and Hao’s phone numbers, and repeatedly urged me to handle it quickly and to contact her any time. What a coincidence! I know Master was watching over me and helping me.

Next, I had to face the superiors I’d always dreaded. From childhood to adulthood, from school to work, the omnipresent “instructions from superiors” and “inspections from superiors” created an atmosphere that unconsciously instilled tension and fear. This monstrous phenomenon, which could only arise within the vicious cycle of the CCP culture, had become deeply rooted in people’s hearts, controlling and poisoning them. If I were not a practitioner I would never be able to recognize and eliminate these toxins. The “superiors,” which I once considered an insurmountable fortress, began to crumble after I recognized their true nature.

At the same time, I also realized what it means to be a practitioner during the Fa-rectification period. We not only have responsibilities and missions, but we also possess boundless supernatural powers and abilities. Very often, it is our insufficient righteous thoughts, or even the absence of righteous thoughts, that makes us hesitate and stand still when facing problems.

Meeting With Each Leader

The next day, my child drove me to the “higher-level” authority. Because it was more than 100 kilometers away, we didn’t arrive until after 9 a.m. When we entered, the security guard asked me who I was looking for. I said, “Hao Ming.” He started dialing, but after several attempts, he couldn’t get through and said, “Never mind, no one’s answering. Just go on in.” He then gave me Hao’s office room number.

When I reached the ninth floor and stepped out of the elevator, my heart began to race and my teeth chattered uncontrollably. At that moment, I realized this wasn’t me; it was the lingering fear that had been ingrained for years—the fear that made me tense at the mere mention of “superior”—that was trembling. I begged Master to help, while sending forth powerful righteous thoughts to eliminate the evil interference from other dimensions.

When I arrived at the designated door, my mind was already calm. I knocked on the door, and there was a woman who looked to be in her 40s.

She looked up at me and asked, “Who are you looking for?”

I replied, “Hao Ming.”

She asked, “What’s the matter?” I felt that she was Hao Ming. After introducing myself, I explained my purpose.

She said, “I’ve heard your story. Do you still practice Falun Dafa?” I said, “Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is wonderful. Right?”

Several other officials in the room, who had been busy with their own things, looked up at me in shock. I stood there smiling, glanced at the people around me, then looked back at Hao with kindness. She smiled and said to me, “Please keep trying. Maybe you can really get a retirement certificate.”

I said, “Who should I contact?”

She said, “Contact your supervisor first.” She told me I needed the dismissal papers from back then.

I replied, “I don’t have the papers.”

She said, “Didn’t your company give them to you at that time?”

I said, “Can I ask now?”

She said, “Yes.”

When I dialed the number, the director asked me, “Where are you?”

When he heard I was in this city, near the “higher-level” officer, he said nervously, “Why did you go there directly? Come back quickly. We’ll talk about it when you get back.”

Before I left, Hao said to me, “You’ve come all this way. You don’t need to come again. Just have so-and-so (referring to the office director) handle it.”

Upon returning home, I went directly to my former boss’s office and knocked on his door. Beforehand, I made a point of examining myself in the mirror; my clothes were appropriate, my expression serene, and overall, I appeared natural and comfortable—a sign of respect for him. During our first meeting, I introduced myself and explained my purpose. He said, “I know about your situation; I didn’t expect you to be in such good spirits.”

After we sat down, I naturally talked about faith, truth, and finally, about the many inconveniences I faced in my life due to losing my job and having no income.

I said, “I've been through a lot these past few years. Life’s hardships are nothing to me anymore—it’s just that I find it difficult when it comes to financial dealings with relatives and friends.”

He thought for a moment and said, “How about I try to help you solve some of your current difficulties in the short term?”

His words surprised me, and I quickly said, “I didn’t mean that. Wouldn’t that be putting you in a difficult position? Besides, I won’t accept anything I’m not entitled to. Just help me resolve my retirement issue.”

He said, “I didn’t expect you to be so considerate. Please don’t worry. If I can do it, I’ll put in a 100% effort, not just 90%.”

I thanked him then left his office, and he stood up to see me to the stairwell.

The Pandemic Came and Went

Because my employer didn’t provide me with the necessary paperwork when I left, and the person who handled the matter didn’t remember me, the issue remained unresolved until the three-year COVID lockdown was over. Furthermore, I wasn’t entirely clear on some procedures and I needed to consult a lawyer, which involved legal fees, so the matter was temporarily shelved, causing a significant delay.

After the pandemic was lifted, a distant nephew whom I hadn’t seen for many years suddenly came to visit. He works for a large state-owned enterprise in China, and out of concern, he mentioned my retirement. He had become a lawyer a few years prior, so I asked him to explain some things that were not clear to me. After returning home, he proactively called my supervisor at my workplace to urge them to expedite the process, only to discover that my personnel file was missing again. He told me, “You’ll have to go back to your workplace about this.”

When I went to my supervisor again, he said, “We’ll let you know when we have the results.” A few days later, I received a call and went back to my supervisor’s office. I could clearly sense that he was under a lot of pressure.

He paused for a while and said helplessly, “In the past few days, we’ve searched the entire office. Yesterday, we even sent two young people with the office director to the city. We’ve searched everywhere we could, but we still couldn’t find your file. I don’t know if it can be replaced.”

I said, “Replacing the file might require an appraisal by the judicial department.”
He responded, “Then you should sue the company. That’s the only way.” Then, he became somewhat agitated and complained about how chaotic management had been in the past, how he had been plagued by all sorts of troubles, and so on. All of this had made him feel unwell and dizzy for the past two days.

I listened quietly to his complaints, and I empathized with his pain. All I could do was listen to his troubles and be understanding and tolerant. When he realized he’d lost his composure, he stopped abruptly, embarrassed. I calmly said to him, “Thank you for trusting me and sharing your inner turmoil with me. You know, from the first time I met you, I felt you were an upright person, a responsible and dependable individual. Perhaps this is fate. Although I hope my problem can be resolved, I don’t want to make things difficult for you or hurt you. I won’t sue my workplace unless absolutely necessary. Let’s think about whether there are any other solutions.”

He said, “You know what? So-and-so (referring to a coworker) is also retiring next year and will face the same trouble.”

I said, “I see. We can resolve our issues together, right?”

He said, “That’s a good idea!”

After saying that, he seemed to suddenly think of something, and immediately stood up and said, “Come with me.”

When we got to the hallway, we ran into so-and-so who was in charge of the files. The supervisor waved his hand and said loudly to him, “Files can be lost? Go check. Is mine missing too?”

I went with him to the office. He told the office director, “Go check the number of the Municipal Talent Center and see if it’s there.” A little while later, the director dialed the number and handed me the phone. I took it and explained the situation. The other party confirmed that my file and another coworker’s file were there. It is indeed true that helping others is helping yourself. Later, when I was processing my retirement procedures, that coworker who would retire soon was very proactive, and his family even helped me take care of my grandchild. With our joint efforts, the retirement process went very smoothly. After the files were found, the leader happily told me, “Finding the files was a big deal; everything else will be much easier now.”

These things may have seemed to just happen between me and my supervisor. But as long as we keep our hearts in accordance with the Fa, and are tolerant of all people and situations, the conflict can be resolved; the boundless power of Dafa will also be manifested.

Another Wave of Trouble

Since my personnel file was confirmed to be no longer with my employer, I could only process my retirement through social security. When I arrived at the social security bureau, my high school classmate accompanied me. She repeatedly told me not to mention anything about my faith.

It was a private office. I met the person I was supposed to see before. He was quite familiar with my classmate. After exchanging a few pleasantries, my classmate introduced me to him and explained my purpose.

He remembered me and immediately asked, “Do you still practice Falun Dafa?” I replied, “Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good.” He immediately turned sour.

My classmate seemed a little surprised and embarrassed, and quickly said, “Section Chief, my old classmate is such a kind person, she wouldn’t even step on an ant.” I just smiled calmly at the officer. His attitude quickly softened. He asked about my situation, and started making phone calls, seemingly verifying something. After hanging up, he said, “You’d better hurry up and get it done. Even a month’s delay will be a loss.”

Next, I went downstairs to the front desk and filled out a form. A few days later, I received a call from the social security bureau. They said that my situation did not qualify me for normal retirement processing and that I should go to the social security bureau to pick up the relevant documents. I immediately felt my heart sink and a sense of loss washed over me.

Looking Within and Gaining New Understandings

After my husband learned about my situation, he said, “I told you long ago it wouldn’t work. You no longer meet the national requirements for retirement, but you wouldn’t listen and insisted on it.”

I went back to the room and stood in front of Master’s portrait. In my heart, I asked, “Master, what should we do next?” From the Fa, I also clearly realize that the imprisonment and other judicial persecution we endured over the years are arrangements made by the old forces. Every regulation formulated by the CCP against Dafa practitioners is unconstitutional and illegal. How can we acknowledge it? It interferes with Master’s Fa-rectification and uses people in public security, the procuratorate, courts, and judicial departments to commit crimes against Dafa, with the aim of destroying people. Since this persecution is not acknowledged by Master and is imposed by the old forces, I resolved that I would use righteous thoughts to disintegrate and eliminate all evil beings and factors related to the persecution, and I would only acknowledge what Master has arranged.

Nevertheless, many past experiences—what we hear, what we see, and the human notions and ideas that have formed—resurface on their own, even if we don’t consciously think about them. It’s up to us to choose. If we acknowledge them, they will immediately have an effect on us, and we will unconsciously walk the path arranged by the old forces. Then, when we resist the persecution, it’s equivalent to resisting the persecution while acknowledging it at the same time. We cannot take what the CCP says or does seriously, such as “those sentenced will not receive a pension.” This is crucial and very important for practitioners. I’ve realized that the process of eliminating negative thinking is also a process of cultivating, improving, and assimilating to the Fa.

Looking inward, I also discovered my attachment to myself. Why did I feel down when I received the call from the social security personnel? It was because my ego was shaken; my desires hadn’t been met. But cultivation is so serious! Should there be conditions or sacrifices involved in validating the Fa and saving sentient beings? Behind this heart lay self-righteousness, self-interest, and the attachments of human nature, such as striving and fighting. Master, I was wrong, truly wrong. After finding these filthy thoughts, I immediately felt a sense of relief, both physically and mentally.

More Reflections

After sending forth righteous thoughts, I rode my bike to the tax office. A staff member came over, and I explained the situation. He said I needed to change my old ID number to a new one, but no matter what he did, he couldn’t change it. He was puzzled and said, “This never happened before.” Having no other option, he told me to go to the social security bureau to cancel my old ID number.

I went to the Social Security Bureau again. As soon as I entered the lobby, a clear thought popped into my head: “Check my records!” I went to the front desk, and the staff member who greeted me was the same one who had called me. I said, “May I see my file?”

She said, “Sure.”

Then, while opening the computer, she said to me, “Your file contains a document about your expulsion from the Party, which means you can’t process your retirement normally.” She turned the computer towards me, and I saw it was the official document from 1999 announcing my expulsion from the Party.

I said, “This has nothing to do with my retirement, does it?”

She wasn’t sure either, so she made a few phone calls to confirm that it was okay. She apologized to me, feeling embarrassed. I said, “It’s alright. You didn’t do it on purpose.” Actually, I was overjoyed. Her mistake gave me enough time to reflect on my own character issues. With a better mindset, the retirement process moved forward. She immediately found the forms, and with her helpful guidance, I filled them out again.

Stepping out of the social security hall, I truly felt the profoundness of cultivation. When I looked inward in time and confirmed that I was on the right path, I could understand my husband. After rectifying myself in the Fa, I no longer insisted on my own ego and I wasn’t attached to the outcome. I found that what seemed like setbacks in the human world had actually turned into good things. For example, we couldn’t change my ID number; the local tax bureau couldn’t help, so they told me to go to the social security bureau; as soon as I entered the social security bureau hall Master gave me a hint to check my personnel file, and this time I found the root cause of why I couldn’t retire normally. Master really is in control of everything. Cultivation is so wonderful, and I am grateful for Master’s compassionate arrangement and protection.

A Happy Ending

A few months later, the retirement pension arrived, and the amount exceeded everyone’s expectations. The whole family was overjoyed. My husband said, “It’s unbelievable! How did you manage to do this? The pension is quite substantial, it’s really good.”

I replied, “Because Master is looking after me.” My husband’s perpetually gloomy face finally broke into a smile.

Once, at a wedding of a colleague’s child, a female colleague took my hand and happily said, “I heard that Falun Dafa has been exonerated.” Before I could react, she looked at me and said, “That’s wonderful. Retirement is settled, and there’s a good amount of money. Good people are truly rewarded!” A male colleague said, “I really admire Falun Dafa. Practitioners are amazing. They’ve endured so much pressure and persecution from the Communist Party for so many years, and they’ve come through it all. Nobody else could do that. They’re incredible.”

Two colleagues in their 80s also came over and happily said to me, “We heard you got your pension. We’re all so happy for you.” Colleagues came over one after another to offer their congratulations.

My uncle, a government official in his 90s, understood the truth and withdrew from the CCP and its affiliated organizations. The process of persuading him to withdraw had been extremely difficult. He had always been resentful and didn’t understand why I lost my job, but he continued to care about me. When I visited him in his hospital bed, after learning that I had received my pension, he excitedly told me, “I’ve been thinking about you, worrying about your future. Now that your issue is resolved, I’m relieved and have no regrets. I’m so happy!” His eyes filled with tears. I told him to always remember “Falun Dafa is good, Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good.” He smiled and nodded.

Master said,

“Your journey is one where if you can take correct, right steps, the doors before you that were once shut will open and the road will become wide.” (“Fa Teaching Given at the Epoch Times Meeting”, Collected Teachings Given Around the World, Volume X)

Conclusion

Living in an environment like mainland China and cultivating within ordinary society, we mostly interact with people who are influenced by Party culture. We may also harbor subtle elements of Party culture that are not easily detected. Therefore, we must study the Fa even more diligently and thoroughly, and constantly strengthen our righteous thoughts.

We are all very clear that the CCP does not represent China, but it uses the guise of national policies and regulations to mislead and deceive people. People may be deluded, but we practitioners must be clear. We are only under Master's guidance; this point must not be ambiguous.

Master paved the way for us. Although we may sometimes stumble due to our human attachments, our compassionate Master holds our hand and encourages us to continue. We must keep moving forward and we will eventually walk our paths steadily. The more righteous our thoughts, the smoother the path; the more steadfast our hearts, the wider the path. Listening to Master’s words, walking the path Master has arranged well, and fulfilling what he wants are what every practitioner should and must do.

(Selected submission for the 23rd China Fa Conference on Minghui.org)