(Minghui.org) For many years I searched for a true path through which I could find harmony and meaning in my life. My intense search sometimes led me to extremes—I became distanced from life and my responsibilities—at other times I became confused and detached from spirituality.
I made great efforts to find a true master by traveling to places that are considered spiritual. However, these journeys did not lead me to what I was looking for. In the vast sea of beliefs, I was pulled in different directions. Although at times there was a faint glimpse of light, it soon faded away.
About two years ago I set out on a journey on foot with a friend. He became tired and asked me to carry some of his belongings, including two books that he intended to begin reading during our trip.
When we rested that night, I picked up one of the books and began to read. The moment I opened the first page of the book (Falun Gong), something within me began to shine—and what I read felt deeply familiar. With every cell of my being, I felt that this was the path I had been searching for over the years.
I quickly began reading the other book (Zhuan Falun), and I realized that I finished reading the first book, and was in the middle of the second. I lost all sense of time and space while I read these books.
When I asked my friend about the book, he said that he hadn’t yet read it himself and that it was a gift from another friend.
I wasn’t clear about many of the things in the book the first time I read Zhuan Falun. It felt as if I were merely reading the words but I did not have a clear understanding.
Like a thirsty person who can never be satisfied, I repeatedly read the book. Yet each time I read, it was as if a magical light suddenly illuminated something, and I was astonished to realize that in previous readings I hadn’t noticed certain sentences.
I gradually understood that this was part of my process of comprehension, which became clearer over time. I’ve now read Zhuan Falun many times, and whenever I come across a sentence that feels as if I am encountering it for the first time, I pause, smile, and continue reading.
I now have a better understanding that the Fa, at different levels, continues to guide and reveal itself through repeated reading, and I am guided to ever higher levels.
A few days before the journey with my friend began, I had a dream in which I went to a shrine located on top of a hill. It had columns with tall arches, and there was a sculpture of a reclining Buddha lying on his side, with his closed eyes and a gentle smile. The image felt very strange and vividly real to me.
Next to the arches, two cushions—one yellow and one orange—had been placed.When I woke up, I searched the internet extensively to find the location of the place I saw in my dream, but I was unsuccessful.
Later, during the journey, while I was in the middle of reading the book, I had another dream. I saw myself as a boundless white sheet, and Master’s Fashen (law body), along with several beings dressed in bright yellow robes, moving at extremely high speed, placed a galaxy on the sheet’s surface.
After I reread Zhuan Falun I felt that it might have been a Falun.
The house I stayed in had no heat and one extremely cold winter night, I suddenly woke up because it was extremely warm. I could not understand how such heat could exist in that bone-chilling cold.
Later, I read about the flowing of gong and the sudden heat that a cultivator may sometimes feel, so I thought I may have experienced this.
As Master said in Zhuan Falun:
“Those with supernormal abilities may be able to know it is happening and those who are sensitive may be able to feel it. During sleep or at any other time, a warm current may suddenly come down from the top of the head and go through the entire body.” (Lecture Four, Zhuan Falun)
Everything was unfolding. Yet I still hadn’t understood the depth of happiness and the true blessing a Dafa practitioner experiences when she obtains the Fa.
I had some very unusual sensory experiences when I started cultivating. I sometimes felt like I was flying, other times I felt a powerful flow of energy when I meditated that formed a wheel-like current between my hands—it was so tangible that it felt as if my hands could rest on it.
I also sometimes felt a different and astonishing energy flowing strongly or when I did the exercises: like a mysterious channel running through part of my body. Other times I felt electricity-like sensations emerging from my fingers or toes.
There were also moments when a current of energy seemed to scan my body from top to bottom or from bottom to top. Sometimes when I did the exercises, it felt as if my body was splitting in two, while a very powerful stream of energy passed through the center of my head.
Because my understanding was so superficial, I thought I had these sensations because I was an outstanding cultivator. Then one day I had a difficult xinxing test.
I fell in love with a man who was about to get married, but he hid this from me. I sometimes told him about my experiences in Turkey and he listened eagerly and asked questions.
My last experience was that after I meditated, I could clearly see the back of my hands in front of me, and my hands felt like a mass of energetic mist. I knew that I should not talk about my experiences with others, and that I should not even attach importance to them.
But one day, I told this man about my experiences. Was my wish to not talk about my experiences an attachment to showing off?
Not long after I told him what I experienced, I found out that he was in the process of getting married and I was now caught in a dilemma. I knew this was an important test for me, and I also knew what the right path was. Yet it felt as if I had lost the ability to choose the right way.
I felt myself drowning in a vortex of emotional attachment. While I walked down a street one night and I felt that my emotional pain had become greater than I could bear, I desperately asked Master for help so that I could pass this test.
As I went to sleep, I repeatedly recited in my heart: “Master, please help me!”
That night, I dreamed that I was trapped on a mountain with sharp rocks and an extremely steep slope, and there was not even a place to take a step. I looked down and knew that if I took another step, I would fall. The dream felt so deep and real, as if my soul was truly there.
I was ready to take a step toward the valley when I suddenly heard a loud voice say: “Not that way! Come this way!” The voice was extremely powerful.
I looked toward the mountain ahead. It was Master’s Fashen, showing me the path with a gesture of his hand. In the dream, Master’s Fashen appeared like a martial arts master—very solemn and majestic. His voice still echoed in my ears.
When I woke up, I was certain that with Master’s help, I had the ability to overcome this complicated emotional attachment. I barely passed that test.
I felt it was a test that perhaps an ordinary person of good character, who had no special abilities, could have easily passed. But I struggled greatly because I thought that cultivation meant acquiring supernatural abilities and having the kinds of sensations I experienced.
This experience helped me understand that true power and wonder lie in a cultivator’s heart and their wish to improve, and that true cultivation is about letting go of attachments.
After this profound experience I began to pay more attention to looking within and to upgrading my moral character. I understood that true cultivation lies in rectifying and cleansing one’s heart and mind.
When I first started reading Zhuan Falun, I had no understanding or knowledge of Eastern practices, qigong, or healing illnesses. I did not suffer from any serious diseases. I gradually began to notice some physical changes that caught my attention.
The white spots under my fingernails, which I’d had since childhood, disappeared. I became curious and looked into it. Through my research, I learned that those white spots are an indication of vitamin deficiency—something I apparently suffered from since childhood, and which was no longer present.
What was even more surprising was that the pain I usually had before my menstrual cycle significantly decreased. I could hardly believe that after years of being accustomed to pain, my body could go through its natural monthly process without enduring such intense suffering.
But these changes were not limited to my physical body. I used to be afraid of being alone in the dark since childhood, yet on my last trip, I was forced to spend several nights alone in a valley full of caves. This time I had no fear. I still clearly remember that night, when I realized that changes had also taken place in my psyche.
I was reminded of the years when I took anti-anxiety and antidepressant medications.
But after I began practicing Falun Dafa I no longer fell into prolonged periods of spiritual darkness. With every pit I encountered, I could always sense a path within my heart, and every hardship became an opportunity to look inward.
My body and mind felt increasingly harmonious. This feeling became especially tangible after I practiced Falun Dafa: I walked lightly, and it felt as if a cool breeze were flowing through my body. I could sense smells more strongly, everything appeared brighter, and tastes were more intense.
Sometimes people comment on the brightness in my eyes, how young my face looks compared to my age, and the positive energy they feel from me. I always tell them it is because I practice Falun Dafa. Falun Dafa is extraordinary.
After I practiced for some time, I had a deeper understanding of the nature of pain and suffering. When I made a single mistake, part of my body would be affected by karmic illness, and I was able to see a certain attachment I had.
When I neglected cultivating my speech, my teeth ached. When I had attachments related to desire and emotions, I would feel severe pain in my abdomen and lower abdomen. If I was lazy, my body became stiff, and wrong thoughts would sometimes affect my head.
If I hadn’t experienced these things would I still have been able to perceive so deeply the nature of those thoughts or behaviors that were moving away from the benevolent nature of the universe? Weren’t these hardships guiding lights for my growth and for understanding what needed to be addressed within myself?
The meaning of the word “miracle” is different for me. A miracle is no longer a sudden or exciting event. Rather, it is the human will to endure the dullness and boredom of certain moments in life, without trying to dress them up. I wish to remain steady and continue on this path that purifies the soul and cleanses both body and heart.
I am filled with a deep sense of gratitude toward Master and this bright spiritual path. These experiences are all based on my current understanding, and I wished to share them with you.