Dissolving Resentment

(Minghui.org) Recently I realized that whenever I had a conflict with others, I blamed them first. I then postponed the idea of looking within. This is not truly “looking within.”

For example, there was a local practitioner who created a lot of disturbances within our group and verbally abused other practitioners who had conflicts with her. Seeing her harm so many practitioners, I developed a deep resentment towards her. Whenever I thought of her, or if someone mentioned her name, I felt very disgusted. And I forgot that I should look inward at my own attachments first: Why was I the one who always saw these injustices?

Recently I had some small conflicts with another practitioner. Whenever I asked her for help with Dafa projects, she always turned me down. I felt she didn’t want me to bother her, so I started to resent her.

I noticed that this practitioner brought her cell phone to our Fa study site and that her sitting posture was improper. As I was reminding her of safety issues, I began to find fault with her in my heart: Why was she so careless about our safety, and how could she be so disrespectful of Master and the Fa?

My tendency to get upset and blame others if what they were doing didn't suit my mindset or touched upon my attachments grew and grew. And I began to realize that this resentful feeling was a type of sentimentality that easily got control of me. It goes completely against the principles of the universe, Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance, and should be eliminated during Fa-rectification.

Then why do I develop these resentments?

When conflicts occur, I always think about them with human notions. I've always wanted to validate myself or to try to protect “my feelings,” “my understandings,” “my interests,” or “my reputation,” etc. These are all human attachments. Therefore, the primary cause of my resentment is “selfishness.”

In another words, if I can go beyond the level of thinking “everything is about me” and really start to think about others first, and if I can try my best to help fellow practitioners or send righteous thoughts for them quietly, will I still have resentments when conflicts arise?

If we look at this issue from the perspective of Fa-rectification, resentment might also have historic reasons, such as karmic ties between practitioners, or the old forces exploiting our gaps and magnifying such conflicts.

The substance of resentment will create divisions among us, and it will cause interference when we validate the Fa. And, especially when there is very little evil left now, the damage caused by our resentments might also interfere with our cooperation as a group.

Additionally, because most practitioners don't talk about the resentful feelings they have, we may not see their strong manifestations on the surface either. So this problem can sometimes be ignored by practitioners. However, the damage it causes can be really severe.

Resentment is a wall that keeps practitioners from truly looking within. It is also related to many other human attachments, such as validating oneself, looking down on others, not considering others, or not being forbearing.

Resentment is a negative being. Put it another way, it is a demon that lives off of the resentful substances emitted by Dafa disciples. Let’s all dissolve the resentment in our hearts and not allow it to cause more divisions among us.