My Husband Changes After I Look Inward

(Minghui.org) I heard from other practitioners that police personnel from Beijing had come to “transform” several Falun Dafa practitioners in our area. Some practitioners had already been talked to and threatened. We sent forth righteous thoughts continually to eradicate the old force factors to stop these people from committing sins.

The officers from Beijing also came to my home.

My Husband Scolds Me After Getting Drunk

My husband met an old friend whom he hadn’t seen for years and came home inebriated. He started to scold me and said that I made him live in fear of being persecuted. He even badmouthed my ancestors and Master Li (Falun Dafa’s founder). It was late, and I wanted him to be quiet, so I didn’t say anything and silently sent forth righteous thoughts.

It pained my heart to be cursed by him. What did I do wrong for him to act this way? I turned to Master and prayed for forgiveness. I was miserable for two days and thought of divorce.

When Jiang Zemin, the former Chinese Communist Party (CCP) leader, initiated the persecution of Falun Dafa in 1999, I went to Beijing to appeal and was under great pressure from the authorities after returning home. My husband couldn’t bear it and would get drunk and come home late. As soon as he stepped foot in the door, he would beat and scold me.

Sometimes, he was manipulated by the old forces and said bad words about Dafa and Master. He later issued a statement on the Minghui website stating that all his disrespectful words were null and void. In recent years, he sometimes got drunk, but he no longer swore and would go straight to his room when he returned home.

But what was going on now? It’s fine to scold me, but how dare he badmouth Master again! The next day, I asked him why he did that. He said he drank too much and didn’t remember what he said. I reminded him: “When you drink too much, you will be controlled by the evil. It’s not that you wanted to scold Master, but the evil beings used you to do it and made you commit a sin in order to destroy your future. Pay your respects to Master and beg Him for forgiveness.” He felt very bad and asked Master for forgiveness.

Two days later, he came home drunk again. This time he started to blame me for the pain I had caused him over the years. For example, he paid for my degree courses shortly before I went to Beijing to appeal for Dafa. He complained that I would do anything to achieve my own goals, and I owed him. And when I went out every day to clarify the truth and came back late, it frightened him; all the things I had done for our family over the years were for myself; I didn’t care about him and was extremely selfish.

I went to my room and started sending forth righteous thoughts. I thought it was really not easy for him and divorcing him could let him live a stable life. But from the standpoint of cultivation, divorce was actually just a way for me to escape my tribulation and not face the conflict based on the Fa.

Asking Myself: What Really Matters?

The best thing I could do was to do what Master wants. So what does Master want? He wants us to save more people and offer salvation to any life that can be saved. If I divorced my husband, he would be free of pressure and could live a relaxed life, but that was not really good for him. What really mattered was for me to help him accept Dafa and be saved.

By looking inward, I realized I didn’t really eliminate selfishness and sometimes had negative thoughts, such as: When I wanted to rearrange the house and my husband didn’t agree, I would do whatever I wanted when he was not around. In the past, I focused on doing the three things every day and didn’t care much about the things he was passionate about. When he asked me to do something for him, I would be reluctant. I rarely talked to him and spent most of my time listening to practitioners’ cultivation sharing on Minghui radio.

I confessed to Master about my selfish ways and sincerely apologized for the lives I had hurt.

My husband knew that Dafa is good but due to pressure from my being persecuted, he was afraid. For instance, he would only read Zhuan Falunby himself and meditate in the middle of the night. When I asked him to study the Fa and do the exercises with me, he refused.

In the past, I pushed him to study the Fa and didn’t want to know his point of view. And when he played on his phone, I would get angry. I realized the reason I wanted him to practice Dafa was for him to get the benefits it brings to cultivators, which was borne out of my sentimentality.

I told my husband that I had all the shortcomings he had pointed out to me, and I sincerely apologized for hurting him. I told him that the CCP persecuted us both and asked him to let go of his resentment. I couldn’t make up for what he had suffered, but Master would give him the best in the end. I wouldn’t force him to study the Fa anymore and just hoped he could truly experience the greatness and beauty of Dafa.

He smiled. And judging from his expression, I felt he had a sense of relief. Since then, he has no longer been melancholy and locks himself in his room, only coming out at mealtime. When I go out to clarify the truth, he now reminds me to stay safe and come back early. And when I return, I see him cooking.

He has changed a lot!

Whenever I encounter tribulations in cultivation, as long as I think of Master and the Fa and look inward to cultivate myself, bad things will turn into good. Dafa brings light and warmth to people!

Please correct me if there is anything not on the Fa. Thank you Master for your compassionate salvation!