China Fahui | Cultivating Myself While Helping My Mother

(Minghui.org) My husband and I moved to live in the same city as my mother in 2021, knowing that it was arranged by Master as I had been worrying about the state of her cultivation. While walking on the path of cultivation together with my mother, I gained a completely new understanding of the many aspects of my own cultivation.

Hoping for My Mother to Practice Dafa

I took up Falun Dafa in 1996. My stomach trouble that had tormented me for more than ten years and my gynecological problem were all gone. I was full of energy. I strove to live by the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. I forgave my husband’s hot temper and gave up the idea of divorcing him.

I took the book Zhuan Falun with me during my first visit to my parents after I obtained the Fa, hoping that they would read it and practice Falun Dafa too. Since everyone was busy, I only had the chance to share with my mother my happiness after practicing Dafa. She was delighted to see my sad face had disappeared. But she was so busy taking care of my sister’s one-year-old child that she had no time to read the book.

So I read the book to her whenever I had the chance and finally finished it before I left. I left the book with her, hoping she could keep studying the Fa.

Mother Obtains the Fa

When I was about to give birth in 1998, my mother moved in with me so she could help take care of me and her new grandchild.

During my pregnancy, I continued to do house chores despite my growing belly; I had a normal diet without taking nutritional supplements; I also studied the Fa and did exercises every day.

Unlike many other pregnant women in China, I did not use connections to try to get admitted to a better hospital. I simply checked into the hospital close to my home.

My baby was born one day earlier than the due day. I started to wash cloth diapers and do chores one month later. I lost all the baby weight very quickly without bonding my belly as others did after childbirth.

Slowly, my mother saw how smooth my life was after practicing Dafa and witnessed the extraordinariness of Dafa. She began to study the Fa and do the exercises on her own.

One day at the end of 1998, my mother whispered to me that she had a fever and diarrhea. I was startled but immediately understood that Master Li (Dafa’s founder) was purifying her body. I happily told her not to be afraid and it was a good thing. She rested in bed for a day and was back on her feet the next day. I was happy for her to pass the test.

My Mother’s Good Nature

My mother lived with us for ten years to help me take care of my child. After the persecution of Falun Dafa began in July 1999, my husband tried to stop me from practicing but I refused. He asked my mother to persuade me. She only said to him that I regained my health by practicing Dafa. She also studied the Fa and did the exercises whenever she had time. When Master published new articles, I always shared them with her.

My mother was hit by a car while on her way to pick up my child from school. She told the driver that she was fine and didn’t ask for compensation. The driver later visited my home to check on her. She was actually hurt but she didn’t mention it to anyone and soon recovered.

She also gave the audio tapes of Master’s lectures to her sister and mother. When her mother, my grandmother, lived in a nursing home after becoming incapacitated, my mother put a Dafa auspicious amulet under her pillow. Every time my mother visited her, they would recite the auspicious phrases “Falun Dafa is good; Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good” together. My grandmother passed away in her sleep without any suffering.

My aunt took good care of the audio tapes of Master’s lectures and often recited the auspicious phrases. Now in their 80s, she and her husband are living a happy life.

Unfortunately, during the ten years we lived together, my mother and I had not found time to study the Fa and do the exercises together because of my heavy household duties and my being busy distributing truth-clarification materials. So our cultivation improved slowly. We did not know how to look inward and had had frequent arguments over trivial family matters.

After my mother returned to our hometown to live with my sister’s family, I worried about her cultivation since there were no practitioners around her. I saved the electronic files of Minghui Weekly in MP5 and brought it to her when I visited her, and sometimes also mailed them to her. I usually stayed at her place for a week or two every year. During that time, I shared with her about my cultivation and the progress of the Fa-rectification, and encouraged her to keep up with her cultivation. She always agreed.

But she was busy with heavy housework, taking care of my father who had Alzheimer, and my sister and her children. She had no time to study the Fa or exercise. I was anxious but could not do anything about it except remind her to let go of her sentiments when I called her. I also shared with her about cultivation whenever I had a chance, hoping for her to stay close to the Fa.

Occasionally, she told me that she chanted the auspicious phrases and sent forth righteous thoughts. She gave out all the Dafa informational magazines I mailed her. She also spent bills with Falun Dafa truth messages printed on it (as a way to raise awareness about the persecution given strict censorship in China). She wrote the messages on paper currency herself and spent them without being overly concerned about her safety. I saw her pure heart and felt ashamed of my attachment of fear.

When my grandmother passed away, she left her house to my mother only. My mother could have kept all the money when it was sold. But she decided to divide it equally among her six siblings. We gained more trust from the elders of the family through this matter and they all withdrew from the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) and its two junior organizations.

Cultivating Diligently Together

My sister bought a new house in 2021 and I bought her old house. This way, my husband and I moved back to our hometown. Knowing that Master arranged it for my mother and me to cultivate together, I cherished this arrangement.

I visit my mother, who still lives with my sister, on a regular basis. My sister even got a guest room just for me in her new spacious home. Since she was busy with her job, she hired a housemaid. I found out while staying there that my mother often quarreled with the maid, and that she also complained to my sister about the maid. I reminded her to look within and not to argue with the maid. She did not listen. Once while she was arguing with the maid in front of me, I was upset and reprimanded her before the maid. She became angry.

Later she also passed a message from my sister that I should not do their house chores while visiting, which were supposed to be done by the maid. I felt sad at first. Then I looked inward and realized that I stepped over the boundary as a guest since they had their own ways of managing things around their home. I should respect their way of living.

I also discovered my attachment to my mother. After I learned that she stopped reading Minghui Weekly, I was afraid that she would fall behind in her cultivation, and consequently get sick or even pass away.

I shared with my mother about my concern and discussed how to improve our cultivation. We decided to study the Fa together regularly, do the exercises and send forth righteous thoughts together when we had more time. I helped her to resume listening to the audios of Minghui Weekly. This arrangement helped me to have a steady environment to do the three things well. My mother also arranged her time to do better in her cultivation. I let go of my obsessions with her cultivation state since Master is there to watch over her.

After we studied the Fa together for a while, my mother read the Fa much more fluently. She also studied the Fa by herself in the morning, sent forth righteous thoughts diligently, did the standing exercises every day, and tried to do the sitting meditation more often. She paid attention to respecting Master and the Fa. She emptied a big drawer to put Dafa's books and remembered to wash her hands before studying the Fa. With more Fa study, she had a better understanding of the evil nature of the CCP and discovered her problems of unintentionally lying.

Her relationship with the maid was up and down, so I kindly reminded her. Once she told me that my sister scolded her and the maid but she took the blame and re-did the work together with the maid. I was so happy about her improvement.

I remembered that her back was not straight when I first moved back to our hometown. Now her back is straight and even her cooking skills improved a lot.

Helping Others Is Helping Oneself

I improved my own cultivation while helping my mother, and no wonder many practitioners mentioned in their sharing that helping others is helping oneself.

First, I am able to concentrate now during group Fa study. I also found many attachments, such as my impatience, my tendency of putting myself above the Fa, my sentimentality toward my mother, my desire of showing off, my competitiveness, my jealousy, and my resentment toward my sister. Moreover, my mother also corrected my exercise movements which had been wrong for years.

I noticed that I tended to require my mother to follow my own understanding of the Fa. Luckily I realized this serious problem with Master’s hint. I immediately repented myself to Master. I corrected myself to distinguish which part of my words were Master’s original words and which were my own understanding.

I also found that I did not do well in cultivating my speech. I found many issues with my mother so I always tried to bring them to her attention in the proper ways. During Fa study, Master hinted to me that I had many of the same issues but I overlooked them since I got used to them. My own attachments drove me to point out her attachments when I should strengthen my main consciousness and cultivate my speech.

When I was studying the Fa, I felt that Master was teaching me and pointing out my problems. I shared with my mother: we must control our own hearts and not blame others in conflicts. We also have to figure out what attachment caused us to fail to control our speech and want to blame others. All the bad and evil thoughts in us have to be suppressed and eliminated.

Now I feel that I just learned how to cultivate after twenty-some years of cultivating. Many attachments were suppressed and not shown during tense conflicts but they are still hidden in my heart. No wonder when I found excuses to vent my discontent to my husband, he always responded with the right reasoning. Master had used his words to hint at me. But I had missed the opportunities to improve.

My husband and I met a person when we were on a trip a few days ago, who had a messy personal life. But I knew that I should not look down on him, but treated him as a sentient being to be saved. I did not want to have any bad thoughts about him but should have compassion for him. I learned to adjust my thinking. Even for those who have participated in the persecution, I also hope that they will have their knowing side dominate themselves someday and recognize the evilness of the CCP.

I always thought I moved back to help my mother with her cultivation, but she was indeed helping me. Everyone around me, including my sister, my mother, and the maid, is helping me with my cultivation. My mother improved too. She now took the initiative to communicate with my sister instead of complaining about her not communicating. She knows to look inward instead of finding fault in other people. She is also diligent in her Fa study and exercises. My sister is very supportive of our cultivation.

Perhaps my mother and I vowed before descending to the human world to meet and cultivate together. We will remind and help each other, and walk together on the path of validating the Fa and saving sentient beings.

The above is my current understanding at my level. Please point out anything inappropriate.