Looking Inward While Suffering the Symptoms of COVID

(Minghui.org) I started practicing Falun Dafa in 1996 when I was a child. Now, I am a middle-aged woman. I am able to understand the Fa rationally, although I still need to improve myself when facing many issues. Thank you, Master, for looking after me through all this time. I am determined to cultivate diligently and walk the remaining cultivation path well. 

I contracted COVID in mid-December 2022. My symptoms lasted for 3 weeks. I didn’t feel well in my heart. I had a fever and it was difficult for me to get up. I looked inward three times and found more of my attachments each time. Thanks to Falun Dafa practice, I recovered and felt that my health improved steadily. Master must have dissolved a lot of karma for me. 

I looked within the first time and didn’t dig deep enough to really determine the root of my attachments. Although my health improved quickly at the beginning, the symptoms became more serious later. While I was looking within the second time, I still complained to Master in my heart. I had gone through so many tribulations in recent years. I had suffered so much in this world. Actually, I hadn’t let go of my attachment to comfort. Subsequently my condition didn’t improve, but became worse in fact. When I felt I was at the brink of death, I looked within the third time. I said to Master in my mind that I would not seek any worldly things and that I let Master decide whether I leave or stay in this world. 

I realized from this tribulation that Dafa practitioners came to this world for the Fa and that nothing in this world that was important. 

In the remaining period of time, I will do the three things well, and keep up with the Fa-rectification process. I will not let the old forces take advantage of my loopholes, and will try my best not to leave anything to Master to bear for me anymore. 

Letting Go of Sentiment and Treating My Father’s Death Rationally

I often had the same dream when I was a child. I dreamed that all people escaped in a catastrophe except for my father and me. My father obtained the Fa in 1996. I started practicing Falun Dafa with him as well. I loved to play. My father kept urging me to study the Fa and do the exercises. He went through the initial persecution launched in July 1999 and had been clarifying the truth to people. He was making informational Dafa materials at home. He printed Master’s articles and delivered them to fellow practitioners. He made two books before we left our hometown. He asked me to study the Fa with him. He downloaded articles from the Minghui website for me. We didn’t know any practitioners in the new city. I shared with my father from the Fa perspective about anything I came across. I relied a lot on my father.

He had the symptoms of cerebral thrombosis at end of 2016 and became worse as time went by. He was not able to break through it. He often said that he was muddle-headed. He stared at the television (TV) for a long period of time. When I shared with him, he only nodded his head and said “yes.” I became anxious and urged him to look within. He agreed. I was not happy with his state and complained about it. He didn’t say anything. Despite his state, I often shared with him and told him the tribulations I came across at home and in my life. He would tell me to look at things from the Fa perspective and pointed out my shortcomings when he was in a good state. 

His health deteriorated in December 2022. He became incontinent and was not able to get up. I shared with him from the Fa and encouraged him. He became better. He choked when having dinner in January 2023 and passed away within a few minutes. 

My heart was pained when he died. He was not only a father, but a diligent practitioner in my eyes. I failed to help him while he was experiencing sickness karma, and he passed away as a result. I felt sad when I thought of him, and of the things we had done together. I often wondered what would happen if he was still alive. 

I studied the Fa more during that time. Master showed me the Fa principles layer after layer. Master had talked about the various factors behind when practitioners pass away and how we should handle these situations. When I decided to let it go, it didn’t feel that painful any longer. Master got rid of my attachment to emotion. 

I didn’t know any local practitioners and was not able to share with anyone. Master gave me a hint again. I thought of the practitioners in my hometown and the overseas practitioners. I contacted them. Although they were very busy, overseas practitioners helped me and shared with me from the Fa perspective. I became more steadfast in the Fa after I experienced the death of my father. 

Recently, I was able to get in touch with local practitioners. I shared my situation with them. They said that it was also an attachment if I blamed myself too much and thought too much about my father. I should let it go and look forward. 

Clarifying the Truth Rationally and with Wisdom at Work and at Home

I normally clarify the truth to people in person. I work in a state-run enterprise and most of the employees are Chinese Communist Party (CCP) members. I clarified the truth to them step by step. When talking with an employee I explained where the CCP didn’t do well, I would tell him/her more about the CCP’s misconduct. 

When a large incident happened, I told them what the root cause was and helped people see the whole picture rather than listen to the CCP’s lies. Bit by bit, they understood the CCP’s true nature. Then, I would urge them to withdraw from the CCP and its youth organizations. Although it was a slow process, my colleagues slowly accepted the truth. 

Some colleagues asked for the software that would break through the CCP’s information censorship. When large incidents happened, some would ask me what the overseas sources said. Some told me that they were ashamed of being a CCP member. All of my colleagues I was in contact with have learned the truth and made the right choice. I am going to move to another department and start a new position. I believe Master has arranged everything for me and let me have more opportunities to approach more people to learn the truth. 

My mother had deep fear because of my father’s mistreatment by the CCP. She refused to quit the CCP or listen to the truth. But she understood how evil the CCP was, and once also saw an organ transplant center. I often played the truth-clarification videos for her and read news from The Epoch Times website to her. Gradually she started to listen. I explained to her why she shouldn’t be a member of the CCP and why she must discern who was good and who was bad. Many times when I tried to clarify the truth to her, something would happen and I would take this incident as an example and clarify the truth to her. She learned more and more and stopped saying bad things about Dafa. Finally she made the right choice for herself. 

The Process of Clarifying the Truth Is also A Process of Improving Myself

My husband was a CCP member. He was straightforward with a quick temper and liked to quibble over trivial matters. He understood that the CCP had a lot of problems, yet he still had illusions about the CCP. When I clarified the truth to him, he asked many questions on a particular topic until he got a satisfactory answer. Then he would raise other related questions. I got upset and argued with him every time. I realized later that he was actually helping me get rid of my competitiveness. I used to think that as long as I cultivated well, other people would easily agree to quit the CCP. 

I realized that the process of clarifying the truth was also a process of cultivating and improving myself. I came across many people and many incidents when clarifying the truth to people. Many of my attachments were exposed during the process. Later on, when I clarified the truth to my husband, I thought first whether what I said was on the Fa, or I said it because my attachments were triggered. 

By studying the Fa, I was able to refrain from arguing with him when I clarified the truth to him. Just as Master said:

“Actually, with a lot of things if you calmly and gently talk to people and handle those things rationally, you’ll find that your wisdom will flow forth like a spring, and every sentence of yours will get right to the point, and every sentence will speak the truth.” (“Fa Teaching Given at the Metropolitan New York Fa Conference”, Collected Teachings Given Around the World Volume III)

During the process of clarifying the truth to my husband, I found many of my attachments, and I tried to let them go. He gradually learned a lot and no longer argued with me. He just listened to me. I also clarified the truth to his family members and they gradually understood the truth. 

Studying the Fa, Memorizing the Fa, and Understanding the Fa Rationally

Because my child was still small, I was busy most of the time and didn’t have enough time to study the Fa. I then picked up studying the Fa and memorizing the Fa on and off. 

Initially I understood the Fa perceptually. I knew Dafa is good and that I must safeguard the Fa and appeal for justice for Falun Dafa. I must listen to Master, expose the evil CCP, clarify the truth, and save sentient beings. Now I understand the Fa rationally and and have a deeper understanding of the principles. 

As I studied the Fa more, my questions and doubts were resolved one by one. I understand the real meaning of validating the Fa and saving sentient beings. Initially I clarified the truth and saved sentient beings by following Master’s instructions, so I could keep up with the Fa rectification process and completed my task. Now, I really want to save people when I see them commit crimes against Dafa, and they might lose their lives during the great elimination process. I hope they will survive the catastrophes and return to their homes in the heaven. I feel my responsibility. I must be responsible to sentient beings. If I don’t do well when I come across tribulations or tests, many people might perish. Master keep giving me opportunities. I will do my best to save more people in the remaining time. 

While I was on my maternity leave, I only had limited spare time to memorize the Fa. At the start I could only memorize one short paragraph a day. Gradually I could memorize three paragraphs a day. I memorize each paragraph repeatedly so every word of the Fa was imprinted in my mind. During the process, I realized that every word of the Fa has special meaning. Even every punctuation is a being in the Fa. Master unfolds many principles for me when I am memorizing the Fa. 

I have finally caught up with other practitioners in cultivation after I studied the Fa and kept memorizing the Fa. My belief in Master and the Fa has been reinforced. I will keep cultivating diligently, as well as keeping righteous thoughts and actions. Thank you, Master, for your protection and compassionate salvation.