(Minghui.org) I began to practice Falun Dafa in 2011, and I practice on my own. I cannot see things in other dimensions, but I often feel that Master is beside me, protecting and giving me hints to guide me in cultivation.
More than 30 years ago, before I began practicing, I never liked to talk, I was shy but I never stopped thinking about things. I always wanted to know where humans came from, and why are we here on earth. I fantasized all day.
Deep in my heart, I felt lonely as if I was searching for something. When I was with friends and family, I silently listened. In fact, I did not listen to what they said, because I wasn’t interested in the things they talked about and they didn’t want to listen to what I I had to say.
In the eyes of my family and friends, I am a “guest from outside this world,” what I say, do or think is different from most people. I know nothing about social relations. I blushed when I saw people and laughed foolishly, and I believed what others told me. I helped others even though they betrayed me.
My mother often wondered why she gave birth to such a weird child. She often chided me for being naive. I said, “Why should I mistrust others?” My mother was so upset she did not know whether to laugh or cry.
I loved to draw and I especially liked drawing heavenly maidens. I fantasized that I was a maiden from heaven. I could fly to places I often dreamed about. I asked my family if fairy maidens existed but they said it was my imagination. I never got tired of reading or watching historical dramas and mythological stories. In school, except for arts and poems, ancient literature taught in language classes, I did poorly in subjects such as math and physics. During class, I either drew the teacher or day dreamed.
I went to art school, but nowadays, most of the arts world advocate abstract artworks from Picasso, Van Gogh, and similar painters. There are even lessons teaching one how to draw things out of proportion, such as drawing the heads of humans disproportionately big, their bodies short, eyes dull, colors are gray and such works are considered good. I did not find them beautiful, but I was afraid to express my opinion or else I would be laughed at. This made me feel lost. I didn’t know what I should draw. After I learned to draw for four years, I chose to be faithful to what I wanted to draw in my heart. I drew beautiful women but their eyes were sorrowful.
When I entered the workforce, most of my coworkers spent their time talking to their superiors and inviting them to dinner after work. Whenever a new employee was hired, he or she had to apply to join the communist party. I asked someone who was a Chinese Communist Party (CCP) member for more than 20 years: “Why do you want to join the Party? What is the Party about?” She couldn’t explain. She only said there were meetings every day and you need to pay membership fees every month. Once you became a Party member, you would be promoted and earn a lot of money. I decided not to join the Party. My manager asked me to join, but I turned him down. I worked hard, but could not afford to buy a car or house. However, this did not bother me.
Changing Life Style
I later got married and had a child. I quit my job to raise my child. I observed that in China, education for the younger generation means indoctrination, scolding, and coercion. Children are sent to all kinds of classes but they are not taught how to be a good person. I rented a place in the suburb where I lived and started a home school in 2010. I did not obtain a license because I would have to abide by the standard curriculum. I simply wanted children to maintain their innocence and develop good characters. My home school was reported to the authorities for disrupting the neighbors. In the spring of 2011, I went to the outskirts to look for a place for a new school. It took me six months during which I had the opportunity to obtain the Fa.
One day, I returned home exhausted. My husband gave me a software which enables me to access overseas websites. In the beginning, I only read news that one could not read in China. I knew nothing about the CCP and was not interested in politics. I was also running around looking for a new place for the home school, I was tired and irritated every day. I only spent a short time on the overseas website.
Finding Falun Dafa
It was not until September when I had nearly found the ideal place for my home school. One day, when I went to the overseas website as usual, I unexpectedly saw the news headline “Global Suing Jiang Zemin.” It caught my attention as Jiang Zemin was the head of the CCP then, and now it seemed the whole world wanted to place him on trial. What’s going on?
I clicked on the link and read that Jiang Zemin initiated the campaign to persecute Falun Gong. Although Falun Gong has been persecuted since 1999 and all channels on TV broadcast news 24/7 vilifying the practice, I didn’t know anything about it. I saw another link to a website and when I clicked on it, I was surprised to find it had stories on reincarnation, deities and so on. I was ecstatic to find such amazing information, and I wondered why I just discovered it. While reading the stories, I discovered these were written by Falun Dafa practitioners. Some of them were personal reincarnation stories. I thought they were well written and real. Later on, I read in an article that Zhuan Falun is a book from heaven and it can be downloaded from the Minghui website for free.
In November, I finally finished cleaning my new house and moved in with my child. Two things happened. I had always been in good health, but since I began searching for a new place, I kept coughing; In order to clean the dust on the ceiling, I put a chair on a table. One leg of the chair broke and I fell, landing on the hard cement floor. There was a loud sound from my left arm and I thought I broke it. I sat up in pain. Just then, teachers came in from outside. I did not want them to know I had an accident. I quickly got up and continued with my chores. Soon, my arm stopped hurting. I thought it was strange.
The first night I moved in, just after 10 p.m., after my child went to bed, I downloaded Zhuan Falun from the website and started to read. I was immediately hooked. When I read on page six “We see that in this universe a human life is not created in ordinary human society; the creation of one’s actual life is in the space of the universe.” I realized: “Indeed, I came from outside this planet! No wonder I’m not interested in anything in this world.” I continued reading until I finished the entire book. I felt every cell in my body jumping in joy. From then on, every book in this world lost its attraction for me. I took things even more lightly. I ran outside the house excitedly and looked at the bright moon. I wanted to shout: “Zhuan Falun is the best book in this world!” I said to Master in my heart, “Master, I want to practice cultivation and I will practice right to the end.”
The next morning when I woke up, I heard beautiful music and I heard it all day. I searched everywhere for the source of the music but could not find it. I felt it came from the heavens yet no one else could hear it. I later understood it was beings in my world in other dimensions celebrating that I had obtained the Fa. At night, I began to watch Master’s taped lectures online. I dozed off before finishing lecture. When I woke up, I was slumped over my desk. My brain was numbed as if I had been given anesthetic. Master’s lecture was still playing. Just then,
I heard Master say,
“A few individuals may fall asleep and wake up as soon as I finish my lecture. Why is that? It is because their brains have illnesses that need to be treated. One will be unable to stand it if one’s brain is worked on. Therefore, the person must be put into a state of anesthesia so he doesn’t know.” (Lecture Two, Zhuan Falun)
It turns out Master was removing bad things from my brain!
Afterwards, I followed Master’s taped recording and did the sitting meditation. I felt a giant Falun spinning between my palms. It was so strong I nearly turned over. I soon stopped coughing. It seemed that Master already started to cleanse my body. I fell from such a great height while cleaning the house and was fine. I now realized Master protected me. I am so fortunate.
I saw a Shen Yun performance online during the New Year in 2012. I was stunned when the curtain went up. The scene in heaven shown in the backdrop and the heavenly maidens dancing, it was all too familiar for me. Isn’t that the place I often visited as a child? This is my true home. I even thought the maidens really flew from heaven to the stage and wanted to join them in returning to my home in heaven. Since then, I often longed to see a Shen Yun performance in person. As I had been practicing cultivation alone all this time and I was surrounded by ordinary people, I frequently had conversations with Master in my heart. I said to Master: “I would like to watch Shen Yun.”
A few months later, one day, my mother-in-law phoned and asked me to come to her house at once. I was puzzled. Usually she spoke to me in a gentle tone and would tell me to go and see her after I finished what I was doing. What is with her today? I told her I would come on one of the next two days. Unexpectedly, she called again the next day and asked me to come over at once in an urgent tone. I had no choice but to take the bus and go see her. I asked her what was the matter upon stepping into her house. She acted as if nothing had happened. I then noticed something on the book shelf in the innermost room. I walked straight to it and it was a Shen Yun CD! I took the CD and asked my in laws excitedly: Who gave you this? They replied they did not know who put it outside their door. They were planning to throw the CD away. It was as if I found a treasure. I wept when I returned home and thanked Master: “Master knows everything his disciple is thinking of.”
I have been practicing cultivation for over a decade. In the beginning, I aspired to be Master’s best disciple. Now, I am remorseful that I haven’t done the three things well and I’m ashamed to face Master. I was persecuted twice. Looking back now, prior to being arrested, Master gave me several hints and I could have avoided being persecuted. In this final stage of Fa-rectification, I hope to look within unconditionally all the time and not have too many regrets.
(Selected submission in celebration of World Falun Dafa Day on Minghui.org)
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