My Father Helps Me Identify My Cultivation Issues

(Minghui.org) Due to changes in my immediate family, I lived with my parents for ten years. My father became my biggest cultivation test.

When I was a child I felt my father was selfish. He rarely helped my mother and did not respect her, so I didn’t respect him. On top of that, he had many unsanitary habits—he blew his nose but did not use a tissue. He spat everywhere. He rinsed his mouth after meals and spit the water into flowerpots or bowls, or fed it to the little dog. I found his behavior disgusting.

My father didn’t know how to speak appropriately. When relatives came over during the holidays, he said things like, “Why are you so skinny?” or, “You’re losing your hair!” He often pointed out people’s flaws.

I watched my father with disdain. The more I focused on his annoying behaviors, the angrier I became. I realized something was off. I claimed to be practicing Truthfulness, Compassion, and Forbearance—did I live up to it? My parents are elderly now, and it’s my duty to care for them. Feeling annoyed and impatient only made things worse. That’s not virtue—it’s just the opposite.

I looked inward and asked myself: if I can’t treat my own parents with patience and sincerity, how could I treat others well? When I finally faced my own issues, I was shocked. Wasn’t my father’s behavior a mirror for me? I saw that I was selfish, cold, indifferent to others, sharp-tongued, extreme, disrespectful, impatient, self-satisfied, arrogant, full of blame and resentment—these are all manifestations of human attachments and demon nature.

Master said, “Zhen-Shan-Ren is the Sole Criterion to Discern Good and Bad People.” (Lecture One in Zhuan Falun) But my behavior was exactly the opposite. When I regretted how poorly I behaved, I remembered my father’s many good qualities:

(1) In 2002, when I was illegally detained, the police came to harass my family. My father boldly stood up to them, and said, “You’re trespassing, this is illegal.” After looking around, the police left quietly.

(2) In 2019, when the old village head became ill and passed away, my father gave his family 300 yuan. He later told me that when I was detained, the township officials pressured my family to pay a 300-yuan fine. The old village head defended us, and said, “His family is having a hard time.” The officials left without saying anything. My father never forgot the village head’s kindness. I was truly touched.

(3) Five years ago, when our old house was demolished, our family was compensated with some apartments in another location. My parents endured unreasonable demands from my younger sister-in-law, but still gave me a unit. Thus I have a stable place to live, and I’ve set up a production site to make truth clarification materials in our home.

Looking back, I realized my father’s habits came from decades of formed notions. What really bothered me was my own mindset—my attachment to ego and looking down others. I was resentful, acted superior, and I was impatient. My tone was cold, and I rarely showed care or respect for my parents. I tried to change, but it was inconsistent because I hadn’t found my fundamental attachment.

Falun Dafa helped me solve the problem deep in my heart. Selfishness is the root of all attachments. It’s a postnatal notion, a characteristic of the old universe, and a manifestation of demonic nature. I wanted to break free from it. I’ll study the Fa diligently, step away from selfishness, and care for my parents with patience and warmth so they can enjoy their later years. Living by the Fa is the best way to clarify the truth.

I’m grateful to my parents for the cultivation environment they’ve provided, and to other practitioners for their guidance and help. Writing this experience sharing article has been a great opportunity to look inward and improve my xinxing.

After I finished writing this article, I had a vivid dream. My parents and I were in the courtyard. My father stood holding a hammer and smashed a hole into a piece of cardboard. When he raised the hammer a second time, he suddenly collapsed. I woke up startled and sat up in bed, wondering if this was a sign that my 87-year-old father reached the end of his life. But I stopped those thoughts. When I did the exercises in the morning, I realized Master removed the bad substance of resentment I had for my father.

Now, I’ve found my father is more pleasant to be around. I gently remind him to watch his diet. He’s cheerful all the time and even seems to care for me. He often reminds me to get some rest. Sometimes during meals, he quietly puts a piece of meat into my mother’s bowl.

Thank you, compassionate and great Master, for giving me the chance to do the three things well, to truly cultivate and solidly improve myself, fulfill my vows, and return home with Master.