Falun Dafa Resolved My Long-Standing Resentment

(Minghui.org) My childhood was filled with hardship. My father’s mother disliked girls, so she mistreated my mother. My father was labeled a “counterrevolutionary” during the Cultural Revolution, so I became a child of the Chinese Communist Party’s (CCP) “Five Black Categories.”

At the age of 18, my opportunity to attend a teacher’s college—earned through merit—was taken away by someone who had connections. I ended up working for a state-run enterprise. I worked diligently and earned the recognition of my superiors, even though I came from a rural background and had no prior work experience. Due to my poor health I was assigned to a managerial role which caused some veteran workers to resent me.

I was treated unfairly during the first half of my life, so my heart was filled with resentment, jealousy, and a desire for revenge—emotions that damaged my health. These attachments, closely tied to my resentment, later created many obstacles for my cultivation practice.

My Daughter-in-Law

In 2000, a relative introduced my future daughter-in-law to us. She was a good girl and was rather traditional. She studied hairdressing and ran a health product business. As a Falun Dafa practitioner, I knew marriages are predestined, so we accepted her into our family.

In 2002, my daughter-in-law gave birth to a lovely boy. When my grandson was three years old, my husband passed away. Since my daughter-in-law and her family were busy running their businesses, I helped raise the child mostly on my own. Under my care, the child never got sick.

She wasn’t opposed to my practicing Falun Dafa. When the CCP harassed me, my daughter-in-law protected my Dafa books and materials. She also took care of household shopping. She was frugal, able to endure hardship, and respectful of both sets of parents. To the neighbors, we appeared as close as a mother and daughter.

The House-Selling Dispute

In 2009 my daughter-in-law said that her son was growing up. The cost of living was soaring, but my son’s salary remained unchanged. She asked me to sell our home, a 140-square-meter apartment, so she could use the money to expand her business. I refused because I hosted the group Fa study twice a week. My son also disagreed, citing the risks of business and the difficulty of buying another apartment once it was sold. She then suggested that we rent a place temporarily and buy a new apartment after her business became more profitable. We didn’t reach an agreement.

Afterwards, the once joyful atmosphere faded in our home, and she began resenting me. When I looked inward, I saw that I lacked the patience to discuss the matter calmly with her, which led to family tension. We maintained surface harmony and didn’t argue, but both of us bottled things up inside.

I Didn’t Look Inward

In the winter of 2021, we moved into a new apartment that my son bought by taking out a mortgage. The property was jointly owned by my son and his wife.

One day, after my son went to work, my daughter-in-law told my grandson (who was home on winter break) that she was the one who raised him, and he should remember her kindness. My grandson didn’t respond. I was standing right there and thought her words were ridiculous. I didn’t argue with her, but I gave her a look filled with CCP-culture style indignation.

It’s one thing to quibble over petty things in daily life, but how could she lie so blatantly? Neighbors, friends, relatives, and even her own family knew that I raised my grandson. And except for his tuition, I covered all his expenses. I only have a monthly retirement income of 2,000 yuan and no savings. I did not know why she told such a big lie to her son in my presence. I never told anyone else about the incident.

I only made a superficial attempt to look inward. I knew I must have attachments I needed to let go of—such as the desire to take credit, a need for recognition, jealousy, and a sense of unfairness. In truth, I didn’t dig deep enough—instead, I developed more contempt for my daughter-in-law.

Shortly after we moved into the new apartment, she said that since I still had my own old apartment to live in, I should return the new apartment keycard to her. It was clear she didn’t want me to continue living there. Afraid my son might get stuck in the middle, I moved back into my old apartment. It wasn’t far from the new place.

Our local Fa-study group continued meeting twice a week in my old apartment. My son knew this, so he didn’t ask why I moved back. He just picked me up on weekends for family meals. My daughter-in-law treated me one way when he was there and another way when he wasn’t.

Many people live in the new apartment complex and most were from other regions and didn’t know the truth about Falun Dafa. So I made a copy of my son’s keycard, thinking it would be convenient to go there and clarify the truth. Although she didn’t drive me away, I still viewed her with CCP-culture thinking, believing she was two-faced. I ignored my resentment—shaped by a lifetime of CCP culture indoctrination. It was something I was used to hiding. I assumed her hostility stemmed from our past conflict over selling the house.

In 2022, the COVID pandemic was rampant in our area. My son didn’t want me living alone in the old apartment and asked me to move back to the new one. Because of the lockdowns, my daughter-in-law’s business was shut down so we were together every day. I reminded myself I’m a cultivator and have no enemies. I ignored her cold attitude and tried to treat her kindly and care more about her daily needs. I took on all the housework, including shopping, and tried to meet her expectations. She used lots of plates and dishes for every meal, which made washing them time-consuming.

When I felt impatient I reminded myself that I was like a junior monk enduring hardship to eliminate karma. She was learning how to cook. At first, I couldn’t stand the bland dishes she made, but I told myself this was helping me eliminate my attachment to tasty food. I thought of how Ji Gong “In order to fill his stomach, he ate whatever was available to him ...” (Lecture Seven, Zhuan Falun)

No matter how I handled the chores, she was never satisfied. She inspected everything I did—whether it was wiping the windows, how I hung the laundry, how the shoes were arranged, and even looking to see if I left a few drops of water on the floor. She didn’t allow me to use dish soap, but if I didn’t use it, she complained that the dishes weren’t clean. I felt unappreciated and resented her harshness. I only thought about my grievances and ignored her strengths—like how detail-oriented and clean she was.

Her behavior was like a mirror reflecting my own shortcomings: I was careless, sloppy, and not meticulous, which fell short of Master’s teachings about being diligent and minding small matters. I didn’t like her bland food because I was attached to spicy and flavorful food. Although I tried to look inward and knew I had attachments, my notions kept me from truly changing. I still believed that I was the mother-in-law and deserved respect, which was in line with traditional culture. I even entertained the idea of getting her family involved to mediate, thinking she had gone too far.

While I was studying the Fa one evening, I had the thought: “Save people, save people.” I calmed down and realized that my daughter-in-law wasn’t always like this. How did I become like an ordinary person, planning to “tattle” on her? As Falun Dafa practitioners, our duty is to save people. Her family—dozens of them—have all learned the truth, and many used their real names to quit the CCP. They praised me as a rare mother-in-law and said she was lucky to marry into our family.

If I lowered my xinxing and did something irrational, how would others view Dafa and practitioners? No matter how she treated me, she never said anything disrespectful about Master or Dafa. In fact, she used to place intricately shaped lotus flowers in a large vase in front of Master’s photo as a sign of respect. During the lawsuits against Jiang Zemin in 2015, she signed her real name in order to support practitioners. If my resentment made me do something irrational like tattling, I wouldn’t be saving her—I’d be pushing her away. I dropped the idea, but I didn’t truly look inward and change myself.

The Conflicts with My Daughter-in-law Continue

I noticed my daughter-in-law’s complexion became sallow and she was losing weight. From an ordinary perspective, I felt a little sorry for her, but I didn’t realize I was the one piling up bad substances like resentment on her. I just thought she was unreasonable.

My grandson graduated from college but had yet to find a job. My son wasn’t often home for meals due to work, so my daughter-in-law prepared all three meals. Every time she cooked, especially lunch, she only called my grandson to eat. I was in my room studying the Fa. Even though she didn’t call me, I came to the table. We usually had fixed seats. She’d place the good dishes in front of herself and her son, and put leftovers or things they didn’t like in front of me.

At first, I didn’t mind. But over time, my attachments were stirred up. I didn’t care about whether the food was good or bad; what I cared about was my ego. Since my grandson was home, her behavior could influence how he viewed me. After months of feeling wronged, I still didn’t tell my son. By ordinary standards, she was clearly in the wrong. But I’m a cultivator and know that human reasoning and divine principles are often the opposite. I fell into the trap of resentment and couldn’t pull myself out.

One day, I ran into my husband’s younger brother and his wife at the market. I complained just a little, and I didn’t mention the specific things my daughter-in-law did. But after I got home, I developed a sore at the root of my tooth. Even drinking water hurt. I hadn’t had a toothache in decades, so I knew this was karmic retribution from not minding my speech and talking about my daughter-in-law behind her back. I studied the Fa intensely, sent righteous thoughts, and begged Master for help. After three days, the pain disappeared.

A few days later, I decided to move back to the old apartment to live alone. But right after I had just one meal there, I felt a stabbing pain in my lower abdomen. I then began to experience urinary incontinence and noticed blood in my urine (a symptom I’d had before when I failed a xinxing test). I was immediately alarmed and started looking inward. I realized I shouldn’t have moved out in order to avoid hardship. I didn’t pass the test well and didn’t dig deep enough to find my own shortcomings, which gave the old forces an excuse to persecute me.

I went to Master’s photo, pressed my hands together in front of my chest, and admitted my mistake: “Master, I didn’t follow your teachings. As a cultivator, I should always look inward unconditionally. I will remember your words: “He’s right, and I’m wrong...”” (“Who’s Right, Who’s Wrong” in Hong Yin III) Within minutes, all the physical tribulations disappeared. I was deeply grateful to Master for bearing what I should have endured. I needed to take cultivation seriously.

Looking Inward—Darkness Gives Way to Light

On the way back to the new apartment, I thought about how to truly communicate with my daughter-in-law. I made up my mind to let go of my ego and treat her with compassion as a cultivator should. She is a life that came for the Fa and has a great karmic connection with me. To help me succeed in cultivation, she stayed by my side and acted out these conflicts so I could see my attachments and improve my xinxing. The Fa-rectification is nearing the end, yet I still make Master worry about me. And I also realized my daughter-in-law suffered in order to help me eliminate karma.

I kept rectifying myself and, when I arrived, my daughter-in-law greeted me as if nothing happened. She even cheerfully said, “Mom, welcome back! What should we have for dinner?” Her sudden change caught me off guard—I wasn’t mentally prepared. It was truly miraculous! I casually replied, “You decide.” Her long-furrowed brow finally relaxed, and her complexion returned to normal. Peace returned to our home.

It was Master who saw my sincere wish to cultivate well and, in an instant, dissolved all the resentment I had accumulated.

Thank you, compassionate Master, for your boundless power and immense grace!